I paced nervously. My doorbell rang. Allison was here. Time to jump in with both feet and hope for the best.
"Hey, come on in," I said, opening the door and welcoming her. She leaned up and gave me a peck on the cheek. I took her coat and hung it in the front closet.
"Hi, Ryan. Wow, you cleaned up the place," she teased. "Nice…"
"Thanks," I responded awkwardly. "Would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, whatever you have."
I fetched the only bottle of wine that I owned, which had been purchased a mere three hours earlier. I had already loosened the cork before her arrival, to avoid embarrassment over my inexperience with such things.
"We're just supposed to keep things simple tonight," I said, trying to be low key and conversational.
"Yeah, that's good. I'm not really sure what to expect. You're the man in charge, so I'll just follow your lead."
"Well, you need to be comfortable with this. It might get kind of wild, you know?"
"Oh yeah, because I'm giving you control over this. That's not something I do much," she said with a smile. "But it sounds fun and it really seems to turn Brian on."
"You're actually giving both me and Brian control. We care about you. If something doesn't feel right, we can stop."
"I appreciate that," she responded. "This has been a fantasy of mine, too, you know. I trust you both."
"Thank you," I answered.
"So, do you have a dungeon around here somewhere?" Allison asked sarcastically. "I'm not sure I want to be with a dominant guy who has no dungeon."
I shook my head and laughed. "I don't have a dungeon. I guess I can build a dungeon if you want…"
"Oh, no. I'm sure you'll do just fine without one," she said, rolling her eyes in mock disapproval.
I handed her the small glass of wine. She accepted the glass and immediately took a sip. She asked me what kind of wine it was, and I laughed. I didn't have a clue. I handed her the bottle so she could see for herself. I just wasn't a wine kind of guy.
"You don't seem nervous," I observed.
"I'm scared as hell. I have no idea what we're getting into, but at least we're doing something. I'm so tired of all the talking and thinking. I love Brian so much. I want to see him interested again."
"I bet," I said with a note of sadness. "Brian and I met last night for pizza and we talked all of this through."
"About me becoming your obedient little toy?" Allison laughed as she said it and almost choked, which caused me to laugh. The idea seemed erotic, but sounded ridiculous when spoken aloud so bluntly.
"Yeah. I mean, if that's what you want."
"I'm dying to see what you have in mind."
I shrugged. "I hope it's fun."
"I'm certain it will be. What did you two discuss last night?"
"Well…we talked about what you and I might do tonight…" My voice trailed off. It had been so difficult for Brian these past couple years that I began to get a little emotional. "He's my best friend. What happened to him wasn't fair. We want to make sure he's okay. I want all of us to have fun and enjoy life again."
Allison leaned in and we hugged tightly. She understood completely.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The three of us began our friendship long ago, at a neighborhood birthday party when we were just four years old. Among the balloons and graffiti and cake, the children ran amok and played games while the parents milled around and talked. Allison and Brian both lived on the same block, and our parents made arrangements that day to exchange rides to school and baby-sit for each other on occasion. The three of us were together nearly every day after that, through childhood and beyond. We spent countless hours running through the neighborhood, playing sports and other games, laughing and screaming and losing track of time until our parents finally ended the fun by calling us home for the evening.
Our middle school years were not so innocent, because social life at school had devolved into a complicated set of cliques that usually served to exclude us. The three of us hung together. We supported and protected each other when necessary, and, in middle school, it was too often necessary.
Allison had developed into a cute young girl, and often drew inappropriate attention from boys. One guy, Evan, had been stalking her for weeks. He had threatened her if she didn't go out with him. Evan was a little older, and had a reputation for being cruel. Allison was afraid, and the school took no action. Brian and I were furious. One day we cornered Evan and the two of us beat him severely, breaking his nose and leaving him a bloody mess. It was an act of violence that shocked everyone, ourselves included. We were each suspended from school for five days, but we were proud and accepted the punishment. When we told Allison what we had done, she cried and hugged us both under a tall tree for hours. We didn't know it at the time, but this was a bond that would last a lifetime.
Our romantic urges finally emerged in high school. Brian and I both separately dated Allison through those years, which might have been awkward but somehow felt natural for us. There was a lot of great kissing and hugging and hand-holding, but we had our limits and never crossed them. We were all determined to go off to college, which made the future very uncertain for us as a group. We had assumed that we would all go our separate ways after graduation. We were committed to stay friends and promised to keep in touch.
We all attended separate colleges in our area. I had a lot of trouble navigating the social network at the private university I attended and managed to isolate myself. My dependence on Allison and Brian was something I hadn't considered. I attended my classes, performed well, but otherwise kept a low profile. I discovered that both Brian and Allison were experiencing very similar things. We had become so close that we were having great difficulty functioning individually.
Brian and Allison developed an intimate relationship thereafter, and they were married a couple years later. I was the odd man out, but I certainly approved and was proud to be the best man at their wedding. Meanwhile, I worked hard to integrate myself into the college scene. My dates with several different women went well and I gained confidence quickly.
Nine years into Allison and Brian's marriage, a tragic automobile accident took place. Brian had been driving on the interstate at night when his car had been hit by a drunk driver traveling the wrong way. Brian survived, but was severely injured. The broken bones and lacerations healed. The internal damage was repaired through surgery. However, the head trauma remained. He complained about ringing in his ears and migraines and memory gaps, but he adapted fairly well. The major change to his life, and the main reason Allison spent that fateful evening with me, was that he became unemotional and his sex drive diminished to almost nothing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Brian wants this," I said. "I never would have believed it…it's crazy…"
"He's suffered a lot. He says he doesn't feel like a man anymore." Allison responded sadly. "This thing we're doing, it's stirring him. It's strange."
"I wonder how he'll react. It's one thing to discuss a fantasy, but now that it's real…"
"We all have our reasons for doing this, Ryan," she said to me. "This might be fun, it's different and we're taking an action. We've agonized about this for too long, so let's just enjoy it, okay?"
I took her by the hand and led her down into my basement. The basement was dark and the old wooden steps creaked loudly, providing an unintentional but welcome creepy aura. Allison gripped my hand and stepped lightly down the stairs. I turned on the light, which consisted of a single bulb swinging from the ceiling in the center of the room. I let go of Allison's hand and allowed her to wander the dimly lit area. In the center, under the light, was a very large table.
"So, is this where we're going to play?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. "It needs a woman's touch, for sure."
I crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall. She walked to the edge of my large wooden worktable. She laid her hands on top and explored the smooth surface, probably imagining herself upon it. I had built the table years ago, mostly for woodworking and engine repair. The table was designed to support many hundreds of pounds. The top was sanded smooth. There were ten steel rings bolted securely to the edges of the table, two on each of the shorter sides and three on the longer.
"Are you planning to put me on this table?" Allison asked curiously. She tilted her head up toward me. The eye contact stopped me cold. She was a beautiful thirty-something woman, with a smooth ivory complexion and light, shoulder-length hair. Her deep green eyes had a long history of making me melt, and this was no exception. My dormant sexual desire for her was emerging.
"Yeah. Is that something you'd like?" I asked.
"I think…oh god…it makes me…"
She was flustered and couldn't finish the sentence. She turned back to the table and eyed the metal rings, perhaps wondering what it would be like to lie there and be helpless in front of me.
"Does it make you feel sexy?"
"Uh yeah…"
"Does this make you feel guilty?"
"It does, yeah."
