With my last story, 'An Issue of Trust', my readership hit 4.2 million. All I can say is, WOW. If you'd told me when I joined, I'd be publishing the 62
nd
story I wrote and all bar one scored above 4, I would have laughed at you. It's been an amazing experience and I've met some great people and one life partner through the experience. I'd like to thank you, the readers, from the bottom of my heart for this humbling experience.
My thanks to the beautiful CTC once again for the ideas and edit. Check out how beautiful by visiting our blog, the name of which can be found in the bio of our joint story profile, SemperAmare. There you'll also find more jokes, all my, CTC's and Semper stories, including some not published elsewhere. You can comment on stories without a 12 hour delay and even comment on our proposed 'btbometer'.
There is no sex in this one, sorry.
++++++
"You must be Mrs. Brown."
"Call me Sandra, please. You are Mark?"
"I am. Now, what is all this about, Sandra? You said on the phone that this was a matter of life and death."
"Yes, it is. Not mine you understand, but a... man I know. I believe you have been counselling my husband?"
"Yes, off and on for ten years now. I hope you understand that us military psychologists are bound by the same code of ethics that civilian ones are. I can't discuss details of what he and I discussed."
"Wow, ten years. I had no idea. Sure, I knew he was in the army, but military counselling?"
"Once in, never out, is our motto. Your husband was a sniper in an infantry regiment. We see more than a few of them here at the clinic. You see, most soldiers fire their rifles or whatever and never see the guy they may be hitting. Snipers are different. They see whether the guy has pimples or not, and know exactly who they hit, and what their bullet does."
"So, Dave killed people?"
Mark saw the blood drain suddenly from the face of the obviously terrified woman opposite him, so he poured her a glass of water before continuing.
"Oh yes, Sandra. And not only soldiers either. As you know, the stoushes the Australian Army were involved in during the last Middle East fiasco weren't one side in uniforms shooting at other guys in different uniforms. Most of the enemy were in civilian clothes and, er, they didn't shy away from using children to deliver grenades and rockets. Your husband's job was to ride shotgun on his company and protect them from ALL threats, if you know what I'm saying."
Sandra did read between the lines of what the khaki-clad counsellor was saying and knew why her quiet, gentle husband had needed help. Still, it was disturbing how much she didn't know about him.
"Dave never spoke about his time over there to me."
"Oh, he wanted to; needed to really. But from what he's told me, you've been pretty wrapped up in your own woes recently and he didn't want to burden you with his issues. Is that why you came to see me? He did say that your problems seemed about over, and he was going to open up to you. I've done just about all I can. Now he needs someone he loves and who loves him to open up to. He needs acceptance. He was looking forward to receiving that from you, I can tell you. I don't think I'm breaching confidentiality to say that the burden of carrying all that pain around was really getting to him."
"Um, no. Tell me, has he spoken about me, I mean, recently?"
"No. I haven't seen him for about a month."
"Well, god, this is really embarrassing. What if I gave him some bad news? Could he become violent? He threatened to kill someone, um, close to me. I need to know; is he serious?"
"I tread a fine line here, Sandra, but well, without knowing the details, off the cuff, I'd say no. Dave's reaction to his experiences in the army, if anything, made him more gentle than he was prior. It would have to be bad enough to trigger him regressing to his past; to the time where he had to kill without compunction to save something he valued above anything else. Can you tell me what the bad news you gave him was? I have plenty of time. I have no more clients and my wife is away this week."
He waited patiently while the interplay of emotions ran like a kaleidoscope across the attractive woman's face. Underlying it all was sheer, unadulterated terror. He surmised what she had to tell him was humiliating for her, but that wasn't going to stop her getting the peace of mind she obviously craved. Finally.
"I don't know what Dave told you about me. My problems."
"Just start from the start, Sandra. From when you met him until he made this alleged threat."
"I met Dave eight years ago. I was instantly convinced he was my soulmate. We married within a year. I was waitressing at the time but always wanted a career. Dave supported me finishing the degree I'd had to abandon when I ran out of money. We kind of had an unofficial deal that I'd work for a few years, then have the babies we both wanted.
"It was all going to plan, but a couple of years in my mum got sick; breast cancer. They did a double mastectomy, chemo, all that stuff, but eventually she died. Dave was great. He helped me survive all that. I suppose that's what you meant when you said he was so busy supporting me that he didn't have a chance to tell me about his past; his problems."
Mark nodded and waited.
"I got myself tested for the breast cancer gene and they found I had it. Even though they caught my mum's early, it was still too late. Dave supported me in my decision to have both my breasts removed; I just couldn't take the chance. It was classed as elective surgery, so our insurance wouldn't cover it. Dave wanted the best surgeon for me, so when I didn't have enough saved from my job, he made up the difference without hesitation."
Sandra paused as painful memories, long buried, ate at her.
"Tough, was it?"
"Unbelievably. Although the surgeon insisted on counselling before I had the op, it wasn't till afterward that it really hit me. I felt like I wasn't a woman anymore. I'm afraid Dave didn't get any, um, intimacy for a long time. I just couldn't stand the thought of him seeing me or touching me naked. Thoughts of kids were shelved as I tried to come to terms with it all."
"Yes, Dave did talk about that time. He understood, though. Not many women would have a guy as patient and understanding as you had."
Sandra dropped her eyes as the truth of the statement hammered into her extremely bad conscience.
The counsellor prompted her to keep going. "So, you decided to have breast reconstruction?"
"Yes. We couldn't afford it, but Dave re-mortgaged his house to pay for it all. He wanted me to get the same size as I was before; said he loved me just the way I was, but I decided on a little upgrade. I'd been barely a B cup, but went for a full D.
"I had the enhancement about eight months ago. I was sore for a couple of months and so that meant poor old Dave still didn't get any oats. But it did give me the confidence to go back to work, I was even promoted."
Again, Sandra paused, deep in thought. Mark thought it useful to fill in a couple of blanks for her.
"Yes, this was the time that Dave started coming to me once a week. His own issues were getting worse as he concentrated on helping you. He was really looking forward to you getting better so he could talk about his issues. You must have noticed something."
"Well, looking back on it, he did seem a little down for the last month or so, and his nightmares got so bad that I asked him to sleep in the spare room."
The sense that this woman was completely egocentric was firming in the counsellor's mind. He brought the discussion back on topic.
"He had it all planned out, you know. He was going to hire a cabin in the woods for a week and unload. How did that go?"
Mark started to get a horrible sinking feeling when Sandra's chin dropped to her chest and fat tears started to fall. He gave her time to compose herself.
"Yes, that was this week. He was being all mysterious, but he took a week off work and we went off last Friday. He seemed disappointed that I would only go for the weekend."
"And did he unload? Did he tell you about the time he..."
"No. He wanted to talk about something, but I got in first."
"And can I surmise that what you told him sparked why we are here today?"
Sandra nodded.
There were so many signs of guilt that Mark didn't need her to fill in the details. But she had to verbalise them herself. The words had to be said. He waited.
"Dave obviously hoped we'd reconnect, you know, as man and wife, on the Friday night. He cooked a lovely meal, lit candles and everything. But I just couldn't."
Mark remained silent. Waiting for the inevitable and horrific admission he knew was coming.
"I told you that I'd had the enhancement eight months ago and was sore for a couple of months after that. I didn't sleep with my husband even after the soreness went away because, well, because my lover told me not to."