I was sitting in the rental car the insurance company supplied me with. It was a piece of junk, but at least it ran. My Van was history after the accident the week before, and I just hadn't had time to get to the dealership to replace it.
I had already figured out that I had to let it warm up for a few minutes, or it would just conk out in a few blocks.
So I was just letting it run, when a car pulled up my driveway and stopped right behind me. "Now what the hell?" I thought, as a guy got out and walked up to my driver's side door.
He tapped on the window, so I rolled it down to see what he wanted. It hit me that he was mad about something, just as he reached in the window with his right hand and grabbed my shirt!
I don't take too kindly to that sort of thing, so I reached across with my own right hand and grabbed two fingers, rolling them forward. He was left with just two options, either turn his back to me and bend his arm, or lose the two fingers. Years of working as a Massage Therapist has helped to give me a pretty good grip, there was no way in hell he was going to get loose!
Then I reached down with my left hand and tripped the door latch, bumping it open into the back of his legs.
He jerked and yelled and called me a few names for awhile, demanding I let him go. I just waited, giving the door a little bump every once in awhile to keep him off balance.
Finally he gave up, so I asked him if he was wanting to have a bit better day and calm down. He agreed, and I let him go.
He stepped away, rubbing his hand and arm, and I saw him size me up. I am about 220#, and just over 6', he was closer to 5'8" and maybe 160 pounds dipped in mollasses, so I wasn't too concerned.
Finally, I asked him what I could do for him..."You fucked my wife!!", he blurted out..
"OOPS!", I thought. I looked at him, still not knowing who he was. "Who are you?", I asked him.
"Eric, Amiko's husband", he replied, giving me a look of almost pure hate.
Well, I had to admit I was guilty as charged, I hadn't set out to do that, it just happened. The truth is, over the last year or so I fucked several guy's wives, and I enjoyed every single minute of each one. But the last thing I wanted was an irate husband in my yard planning on doing me some bodily harm.
I apologized to him, explaining it was just one of those things. An "accident" if you will. That had to sound lame as hell, I knew but when one is standing there confronted by an angry husband who has just caught you, it is a little bit tough to come up with a good response.
"How would you like it if I was fucking YOUR wife!" he yelled at me.
"Well," I answered, "If she was having fun, I would probably like to watch", I replied, giving him a grin. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I saw the confusion in his eyes.
I reached in and shut off the rental car, looked at him and said, "Come on inside, have some coffee, and let's get things squared away."