Something I learned not too long ago is just when you think you know your spouse very well; you find something out about them that just blows your mind. I had that happen with my wife, Liz, not too long ago.
I've been married to Liz for 8 years now and I met her when she was just 23. Liz is very petite, about 5 ft tall, with a cheerleader's athletic body, small pert breasts, brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. She is classy, spontaneous and fun loving and she's also a private person. For example, in all our years together I've never been able to get her to tell me much about her sexual experiences with other men.
For me, it was always an incredible turn-on to hear a girlfriend tell me sex stories about her and another lover. I found it so exciting and it was something that only a few former girlfriends would oblige me on. When they did, it was the best foreplay and I always had tremendous orgasms in the sex that followed their confessions! Once or twice, Liz told me a few things about who she'd slept with before me but she wouldn't tell me any of the intimate details. It was so disappointing, because she's very detail-oriented and remembers the smallest specifics about everything. But I think she considered it unlady-like to discuss her past sexual life, until one incredible evening.
We had invited some good friends, Al and Jeanine, over to our house for dinner. They were long time, fun-loving friends and what we liked about them was that we could talk about anything. In the course of that evening, we drank 3 bottles of wine. We got totally trashed and all of us were feeling so good and SOOO uninhibited. Absolutely nothing was threatening to talk about and, soon enough, the topics turned to sex.
Al asked the obligatory skinny-dipping question and all of us chattered about nude swimming and streaking events from our past, to much laughter. I asked who among us had ever flashed somebody in a public place. Again, all 4 of us had done it at sometime or another; in a grocery store, from a moving car, Jeanine said she had even done it in a crowded College library while a boyfriend took her picture. Then Al upped the ante and asked us each to recount the best sexual experience we had ever had. I confessed that mine was a spontaneous blowjob from a college girlfriend in my parent's den while they were just upstairs. Jeanine said it was a sexual romp on her desk over lunchtime. We all laughed hard at that one. Al challenged Liz to tell her about the most memorable sex she ever had outside of me. I'll give it to Al that he loved controversy and I couldn't wait to hear what Liz would say.
After a moment, Liz blurted out; "When I was 22, I worked for this guy who used to be a professional masseuse. Well one day he gave me a massage and I ended up sleeping with him. It was definitely memorable...he had the biggest cock I'd ever seen."
There was loud laughter from Al and Jeanine. I was blown away; I had never heard this story and I was inwardly dying to hear all the details. Even as I was laughing, my mind was racing as I tried to play detective with what she had said moments ago. She'd had several jobs in her twenties. Which boss was this and when did it happen? Al went to get some more wine from the kitchen and Jeanine followed him. When they came out, they told us that they were going to go right home and act out a few fantasies that involved handcuffs, again to much laughter from all of us.
After Al and Jeanine left, it was just Liz and I sitting on the couch in our den and we were feeling so good from the wine and a really warm glow pervaded between us. Needless to say, I wanted to hear much, much more about this while Liz's inhibitions were down. It was hard to hide how excited I was and it felt like my heartbeat was the loudest sound in the room
So, nervously, I reopened the discussion with the most non-threatening line I could think of: "So, tell me about this incredible sex you had.... who was the guy?"
I wish I had thought of something a little less direct but, to my surprise,
Liz looked at me from across the couch and replied in a matter-of-fact but calm voice; "It was Steve, you remember him?"
"You mean the guy you worked for when you were right out of college? The financial planner?
"Yeah...that's the guy", she said
I sure did remember him. Liz worked for him early on when we were just starting to date. Steve was a divorced guy in his 30s with a couple of kids. Sometimes she played tennis with him and it was something I didn't mind since I didn't play. He was a nice-looking guy and very athletic but I never got the vibes that Liz was anything other than his employee and sometime tennis partner... I guess I was wrong.
So, I continued, hoping she would answer me and not clam up; "When did this, uh, event happen, and were we dating then?"
She made eye contact and then looked away; "Yeah, you were around but it was the summer when we had just started dating...we weren't "exclusive" yet, remember? It happened in July, I think, over that weekend you went fishing with your friends. Anyway, we had played tennis that morning and there was a party at my house that afternoon that my roommates and I were throwing so I invited him. He just hung out and drank some beers like at any other summer party."
"So, you hooked up with him at the party?" I said, "how did it happen?"
"Well, it didn't start like I was attracted to him or anything...we were just standing around talking and somehow we got on the topic of what we all did over summers during College. Steve told us that he worked in a health spa at a Country Club during college summers so he could get free tennis lessons from the pro. He also learned massage from the club masseuse and he became very good at it, so he was eventually added to the staff as a full-fledged masseuse. He said he made great money that summer by giving massages to club members, both men and women"
and so...he offered to give you a massage?", I interjected
"No, it was the other way around!!" Liz laughed, "I asked
him
if he would give me one. I always loved massages and my girlfriend and I used to give each other massages in college that sometimes lasted for an hour. I was fascinated that Steve had been a masseuse, so half-jokingly, I told him that anytime that he wanted to give me one, I was up for it! Then he said; "Sure, how about now?" I had a great buzz on from the party and I thought, why not? I knew it'd make me feel great after the morning's tennis workout. It was still early afternoon and most of the partygoers were out in the back yard so the house was pretty much empty. We agreed that we'd go inside and he would give me a massage and then we'd rejoin the party."
She stopped and took a long sip on her beer. I sensed she was finding this conversation as exciting as I was. So far, she wasn't holding anything back but I didn't know if she would tell me or even remember the details about having sex with Steve. I figured the best thing I could do was to continue to seize the moment. As long as I continued to be open and loving in pursuing this, maybe she'd tell me what I wanted to know. The art was in keeping the mood of warmth and acceptance and also helping her along with the reveal by asking the right questions.
