This is based on a true story. I only say 'based on' because everything that happened here took place more than fifteen years ago when I was in my mid-twenties (as are all of the other characters) and, to be honest, I simply can't remember every detail, so I've used some artistic license to fill in the gaps wherever necessary. But the events, the emotions, the people and the places are true, reconstructed where necessary from my diary at the time, my messages, my emails and my photos, and have stuck with me like it was yesterday. My then boyfriend, now husband, doesn't know about most of this, so here's hoping he's not a reader...
I hope you enjoy.
I heard the key in the front door, and the sound of my flatmate coming through. Hopping off the sofa in our living room I went over to the hall to great her.
"Good weekend away?" I asked.
"Really good," she said with a grin. "Really, really good."
I raised an eyebrow at her. She was nearly bouncing she was in such a good mood. Clearly it had been a good weekend. "Good weekend as in 'good weekend'?" I asked with a wink.
Smiling back at me, she said, "Yes... good in that way. There was someone. It was great."
"Let me make you a cup of tea and you can tell me more."
"That would be amazing... I'll just put my bags away and see you in a minute."
We spent the next fifteen minutes chatting about her weekend away with one of our mutual friends. My flatmate had been worried that our friend was a bit uptight, but it sounded like she'd really let her hair down while they were away and, without giving too much away, had managed to temporarily forget about her own long term boyfriend at home. So, all in all my flatmate had had an excellent time.
"So...," she said during a pause in the conversation. "How was dinner on Friday?"
"Oh, it was good, very nice food and drink, really glad we went."
"And..." she smiled at me.
"...And what?" I replied, feeling my cheeks start to turn red.
"And... you're blushing like I've never seen. Oh my god, something happened! What?!"
I sat there in silence, too afraid to say anything.
"Did he kiss you?"
"Well... sort of."
"Did you kiss him?"
I nodded slowly, my cheeks getting redder and redder.
"You kissed him! You made a move on him?"
I nodded.
"And...?"
I shrugged and looked away, letting my hair fall down in front of my face. I just wanted to hide at this point.
"You slept with him?" she said softly. "Really?"
"Can you absolutely keep a secret?"
"Yes, of course. Promise."
I nodded slowly, "Yes..." I said quietly.
"Oh my god, that's incredible... and?"
"And what?"
"And... was he good?"
"Define good."
"At a minimum you got an orgasm out of it and had you wishing for more?"
I blushed again and nodded.
"I always thought he'd be good in bed," she said. "He seems like he'd be considerate. Was he?"
"You could say that," I said quietly.
"So where do things stand? Will you see him again soon? How about your boyfriend?"
"That's a lot of questions! But short answer is no, it was a drunk one night stand and nothing more, and no it doesn't affect anything to do with my boyfriend - I scratched an itch and it is well and truly scratched now."
We sat there quietly for a few minutes.
"How about we go out and have some dinner in a bit?" I suggested. "We can catch up more on our weekends as we eat. And then I need to get a good night's sleep before the week ahead."
For the rest of that week it was work and much needed quiet nights in. I spent a lot of time processing what had happened, particularly while I worked out each day at the gym, and quite quickly came to an accommodation in my head - a narrative that me cheating, while not ideal, was ok, that it scratched an itch that otherwise would have lingered on potentially much more harmfully throughout my time on this overseas rotation. That me cheating was a one off never to be repeated. I knew deep down that I was kidding myself, that what I'd done was cheating plain and simple, but show me someone who doesn't get by in life by lying to themselves sometimes and I'll show you a liar.