AUTHOR'S NOTE: Everyone in this story is at least 19 years of age.
*******
"I'll be around
No matter how you treat me now.
I'll be around
From now on.
Your latest love
Can never last, and when it's passed,
I'll be around
From now on."
- Frank Sinatra
*******
In the months following, Derek visited regularly, to see Megan, always staying at my house. Even though Megan was quite old enough to share her bed with a boy under her parents' roof, she was uncomfortable with it. She also didn't much like sleeping with him in the dorm when she visited Western, so it became the norm for him to come to Bellewood almost every weekend, and stay with me. That, of course, meant I had to service his dick in my bedroom and tongue his asshole until he went to sleep.
We also spent many Friday and Saturday nights at Ashley's. Whether her parents were there or not, we teens and 20-somethings would be in her basement, and I'd be the one sent upstairs to fetch things. She even introduced me as "bitch boy" to her parents, openly ordering me around in front of them.
There wasn't always an orgy at Ashley's house. Sometimes it was just friends hanging out. But no matter what went on or who was there, it was pretty much a given that I'd be punished for something, slapped or whipped by people, standing in corners occasionally, blindfolded at times, gagged, etc. Oh, and let's not forget licking Ashley's spit off the floor or walls for her amusement, so she could show off her power to her friends. And sometimes I had a drink poured over my head, or down my pants.
During the week I'd get texts from Ashley, like "bitch boy i'm hungry bring me something to eat". When I wasn't at school or work, she had me running errands for her. Sometimes one of her friends needed a ride somewhere, so she'd send me.
There was a certain text from her which came to be my favorite: "get over here bitch boy i need you" When the text didn't contain a specific request, it meant she wanted me to come to her house, because she was in her bedroom, horny, and wanted my tongue. I loved it because she was always alone when I got there. Sometimes a guy had just left, and had fucked her. So she might have a pussy full of his cum. But regardless, she'd want me to eat her out, and lick her pussy to orgasm (or maybe several).
At first she always blindfolded me when I licked her pussy, not wanting me to see it. But in time she got to where she didn't always want to bother with the blindfold, so I'd get to lay eyes on her glorious and beautiful pussy as I worshipped it. To me, it was the prettiest thing ever, and I was never happier than when I had my mouth on it, even if, at the time, some guy was behind me beating the hell out of my ass. (Actually, sometimes that was even better because I could see and hear the ecstatic pleasure Ashley got from that.)
Lila had given me the green light to masturbate whenever I wanted, but... she correctly predicted that it wouldn't feel right to me. I refrained for about a month, and during that time, neither Derek nor Ashley brought the matter up. Derek had gotten so used to me not playing with myself that he didn't think anything about it. As for Ashley, she certainly didn't like seeing me get any pleasure in her presence, but I don't think she thought much about it when I was out of her sight.
So one night, after I'd licked Ashley's pussy and asshole for a couple hours and she said, "All right, that's enough, get the fuck out, bitch boy," I said, "Ummm... Ashley?"
"What?"
"When I get home... do you think... it'd be OK if I... um... like... jerked off?"
"What!!???"
"Would it be OK if-"
"No!! Ewwww! What the fuck are you talking about, bitch boy? Jerk off? Are you fuckin' nuts? No, you can't jerk off, what's the matter with you? Bitch boys don't get to jerk off!"
"OK, I'm sorry, I-"
"Cumming is for girls, and boys who aren't little bitches like you; it's not for bitch boys. Bitch boys don't get to cum. That's disgusting. How could you even ask something like that. Hell, NO, you can't jerk off, and don't ever ask again. The answer is always no."
"OK. I'm sorry, ma'am."
Then she pointed at her feet. "Get on your knees, kiss my feet and apologize, and then get the fuck outta here."
"Yes, ma'am."
Wow. At home in my room that night, lying on my back on the floor, I felt my dick twitch away, and drip pre-cum, hearing Ashley's voice fill my head. I moaned and groaned with the awareness that the woman I loved NEVER wanted me to cum. Ever. I thought about how, if Katrina had told me, say, during our first month of dating, that being with her would mean she'd NEVER approve of me cumming, I probably would have thought she was nuts and broke up with her. That's assuming I'd had the balls at the time to break up with such a beautiful girl, which I probably didn't. Even so, I'd have put up a fight on that point. Just the *idea* of fighting Ashley, though, was something that brought pain to my very soul. Never mind that it would be pointless, and I would lose anyway. To me the idea of aggravating her with resistance was like a sin.
And so I endured agonizing frustration and horniness as a constant sign of my love for her. It's a wonder I kept up my straight As at BC, because I passed many hours in classrooms paying no attention whatsoever to the professor, my mind filled with thoughts of sex, images of her face and body, auditory hallucinations of her voice, and my prick twitching and leaking in my pants.
Accidents and wet dreams were inevitable, though, and whenever one occurred, I would confess it to Ashley, who would then throw a fit and punish me. I'm not sure the anger was always completely sincere, though. She loved throwing her weight around, but the truth is she always got her reward for my infraction, namely, the chance to see Derek or another guy beat my ass and make me cry while she got fucked, or brought herself off with a dildo or vibrator. She had learned about chastity devices by then, too, so she always threatened to get one and lock me in it, so there wouldn't be any more accidents. But then she'd forget about it (to my great relief).
There were periods during which Ashley had a steady boyfriend, and I saw less of her. I was quite distressed over one boyfriend, who really didn't like me being around and did not find it so amusing that in Ashley's circle of friends was this "bitch boy" they all liked making a fool of.
I was really worried I'd lose her from my life, and during that time I scraped up 150 bucks to go talk with Lila about it. She reminded me that it's not my place to try and control what happens in the future, and that loving Ashley meant wanting what's best for her. She suggested, too, that if I let her (Lila) put a chastity device on me and hold the key, it would help me to feel more helpless... which would be a GOOD thing. She said there was the risk, if Ashley stopped seeing me, of me becoming angry and resentful over my fate. But, she said, a chastity device has a curious power to turn anger and resentment into wimpy hopelessness, which is better, because then, when I thought about Ashley, I could remember how I loved her but never had power over her, or rights to her. And when I thought about how she chose someone else over me, I would think, "Ashley was right to dump me." Just as I'd come to realize, on my journey through the gap, that "Katrina was right to cheat on me."