Note from the author: I wanted to try my hand at a story that popped into my head and I couldn't get rid of. I hope you find it as erotic reading it as I found writing it out. I have never experienced something like this but it was fun to play it out in the scenes and see where it might lead. As always, all characters in this story are 18 and older.
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As I lay on my back in the pool my mind was allowed to find complete emptiness. I unclenched my jaw and let loose the tension in my hands and my shoulders. I felt at ease without anything bothering me for the first time in months, maybe even years. I just shut off everything.
The only thing that mattered were the clouds slowly drifting across the sky and the palm trees swaying with the gentle winds in my peripheral vision. Nothing crossed my mind in that gentle moment.
Until the lifeguards managed to fix the audio system and the summer pop music began to blare out once again. I blinked my eyes and the world rushed back in, I wondered when the grandparents would call us to check in after we had dropped the kids off just two days ago. Thoughts of the status of my upcoming job interview crept in and my anxiety rapped its knuckles on the window to remind me I still had not heard back from three other job applications. What time was it? The interview or when I was supposed to already be out of this pool? I wondered if Laura would be done with her last sessions soon and ask me to start getting ready for the evening event. I wondered why even with the kids gone and a night to ourselves we still hadn't had sex in several weeks. Or was it more than a month?
I let out a deep exhale that failed to settle my mind as the weight of everything took over again. I wish I could have floated in that peaceful sea of tranquility for just a bit longer. I sat upright in the water and ran my hands through my hair then lifted my watch to see it was almost five, "Fuck. Time to get ready."
I dipped down underneath the water once more and propelled myself to the stairs, getting out to slick back my hair again and walk over to my beach chair with my towel and the book placed neatly in the middle on it. As I dried off I noticed two attractive younger women walk past, one of them shot a quick look my way and snuck me a smile. I grinned back. A glimmer of a sexual fantasy crossed my mind and I made a mental note of her cute ass. Then I looked at my watch again and made for the room.
Walking back to the room I wondered if I was still attractive enough. Even after having two kids and being in my thirties I felt like I was mostly in shape. Not a spartan warrior but definitely no couch potato. I glanced at my faint belly roll and wished I could just stop eating junk food at night or have a better diet in general. It seemed silly to chase perfection but I wanted to one day just look really fucking fit, even if only for a few days. Apparently the resort had nice workout room. Maybe.
Laura's work had picked this oceanside resort for the company retreat, it was a nice perk of her busy job and we had always made it our bonus getaway trip without the kids. Before we even had kids it was a great free trip that helped us budget for our first house. We used to get a little too drunk and always had some fun drunk sex after the party or when she had breaks between meetings. Now it was just a vacation for me as Laura was involved in more planning and strategy meetings these days. I got into the hotel room and took a shower before starting to get ready. I looked at the bed we had not consummated even after making promises to each other that we would make more time for just us. I decided to grab a beer and open the patio door. There was a comfy-ish couch to relax on that faced out to the patio and its view of the ocean. I tried to cool down after the hot shower before getting into my starched dress clothes. I glanced back at the bed for a second with some remorse but then continued on with my downcast staring contest with the ocean.
At first I thought it was Laura who didn't want to have sex but eventually I noticed that I was turning down sex just as often. I couldn't tell if I had a lower sex drive, if we had lost that spark or if I just didn't find her attractive anymore which was crazy because she was beautiful. She had a great body and she was still my best friend. It just felt like she had become more of a co-worker in these past few years, sometimes with overlapping shifts of feeding the kids, juggling school pick-up and drop off with work priorities, the list goes on and on and none of it was objectively fun. We loved our kids but we just felt that life was at a low point.
Last night she tried to kiss me in the bed pull me close but I just turned over to the other side and said "I have a headache.."
I knew deep down I was crushed about where we found ourselves. I just didn't want to go there, because going down to that emotion would mean asking more difficult questions and facing something terrible like the threat of divorce. I just didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to think about anything. I wanted to be back in that pool staring at the clouds and not dealing with the terrifying idea that I didn't love my wife anymore.
The door lock clicked and Laura entered the room, I turned around with an arm on the back of the couch.
"Hey baby, how was your day at the pool?"
"Good, I just..well, how was your day? I thought you were going to have some time to join me?"
Laura set her laptop down on the desk and sighed as she took off her blazer and began to change, "Well my team had to present the fiscal plan for next year and we were grilled by members of the board."
"Oof, I hope it went well?"
"I think so." Laura let out a deep sigh and kicked her heels off, "Pete helped shield my team some and we had our answers ready to go, I just hope that the numbers we crunched for the Southwest team turn out to be accurate. The jury is still out on that group."
I got up from the couch and moved to start putting on my outfit for the night.
"Good old Pete." I mumbled.
I started to button up my shirt when I glanced over at Laura who gave me a glare that didn't need words.
"What? I don't think I'm wrong when I say that you spend more time with your job and Pete or David or Louis more than me."
"Oh come on Shane, that's not fair!"
"How is that not fair? I don't spend most nights working like you!"
"I..." Laura held her tongue and took a breath, "You used to support me but now you're holding this job against me!"
"Because it's a job Laura!!" A job! These people will chew you up and spit you out to boost the stock price!"
"This company has been loyal to us and to me. It kept us steady during the time when you got laid off!"
I let out a groan, and felt hurt as she waved the evidence of my failure in front of me. Only fair after I started trashing the job she had worked so hard at, where she had developed into an invaluable member of her company.
I returned to buttoning up my shirt and started to put on my pants. We got ready in silence, the harsh words had stopped but the argument was still happening in every movement we took. I was too mad to even look over at her naked body as she changed into a formal cocktail dress for the night. We both ended up in the bathroom as we finished getting ready, I put in some hair cream and I noticed her taking her birth control pill as she did every night except for when we had been trying to have kids.
"At our current rate you can probably stop taking those." I didn't say it in a mean way, just a sad matter of fact comment.
"I'm not ready to stop having sex. I don't know what..."
I cut her off, "We're going to be late." I sighed and we walked out the door defeated as a couple.
A live band was playing and welcomed employees and their partners as they walked into the conference hall. A 50's prom theme was playing out that reminded me of "Back to the Future" while everywhere I looked there were people on their phones. I spotted the bar and Laura and I walked quickly to the one thing we both agreed on for the night, the need for a stiff drink. As far as I could tell the closest thing to a marriage counselor was named Jack Daniels and his advice was not always reliable.
The night went on as expected with the usual pleasantries and "Good to see you again this year" moments from familiar faces. I got to shake good old Pete's hand, and David's hand and Louis' hand. They were all about ten to twenty years older than me but still in decent shape and good looking. I suspected their partners were around somewhere but they chummed it up with Laura while I took a few healthy gulps of my drink which was definitely a smart move and would no way get me into trouble.
After about three or four stiff bourbon drinks and sometime after the award for highest performing office was handed out, Laura and I found ourselves at a high top with our most recent wares from the bar and half finished appetizer plates.
I was midway through eating a shrimp cocktail when Laura ambushed me, "Why don't you want to have sex with me?"
I set down the shrimp tail and let out a deep breath. I looked at her, "I...Laura..."
I looked down at my feet before finding her eyes again and the first easy answer came out, "Can't I just be tired of it?"
Laura didn't look hurt, just pissed, "You're tired of having sex or tired of me?"