The Next Day 14

This is based on a true story. I only say 'based on' because everything that happened here took place more than fifteen years ago when I was in my mid-twenties (as are all of the other characters) and, to be honest, I simply can't remember every detail, so I've used some artistic license to fill in the gaps wherever necessary. But the events, the emotions, the people and the places are true, reconstructed where necessary from my diary at the time, my messages, my emails and my photos, and have stuck with me like it was yesterday. My then boyfriend, now husband, doesn't know about most of this, so here's hoping he's not a reader...

I hope you enjoy.

Morning. It must be morning. I was woken up by a shaft of sunlight falling across the bed, and for a blissful few minutes as a I slowly came around I didn't know where I was or what I was doing. A faint headache suggested that some alcohol had been involved with the night before, and the noise of waves breaking in the sea suggested somewhere tropical.

Realisation slowly dawned that I wasn't wearing any clothes except my necklace, god I must have been quite drunk the night before to get into my bed without putting any clothes on.

I opened my eyes with a start. Looking over next to me I could see a man asleep, naked too. My Partner in Crime.

The memories of the night before came flooding back.

FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! This wasn't supposed to have happened. I went out for a friendly dinner last night having told my boyfriend that I loved him and not to worry, and ended up drunkenly hooking up with my dining mate, having the raunchiest sex imaginable. And to compound it I'd let him cum inside me twice, something I'd never allowed anyone to do ever.

I had to get out of there. I could rationalise cheating when drunk having been so desperate to be touched with my boyfriend so far away, but keeping it going in the cold, sober light of day would be entirely different - that would be a conscious choice to cheat, and something I would have to live with.

I crept out of bed and quietly took my dress and shoes to the guest bathroom for the suite. In my haste I forgot my underwear but that wouldn't matter for the taxi ride home, I just needed to dress quickly and be gone. I could deal with the mess caused to my friendship later.

What did for me was the shoes. I'd put them back on and the noise of me walking out of the bathroom woke him up. As I headed across the living room and towards the door to the suite he appeared, naked as could be, at the door to the bedroom.

"Trying to sneak out without saying goodbye?" he asked with a smile.

Oh god, that smile. I felt my resolution start to waver a little.

"Er, no, not that at all... I just... have a thing I remembered..." I stuttered, my words trailing off.

He walked over to me, his semi-aroused cock swinging slightly as he did so. Oh god, that cock. It was perfect. It had given me so much pleasure last night. My resolution was definitely wavering now.

Putting his hand under my chin, he pulled my face to look at his and kissed me on the lips. I turned my head away, the last of my resolution pushing back, and he moved instead to kiss my neck while his hands held my hips.

"No, we can't... I've got a boyfriend..." I whispered.

Oh god, my neck. I was wavering on the brink, my desire pushing all sensible thought out of my mind.

Between kisses he whispered back, "If you truly don't want this, then you can walk away. Until then..." and resumed his kisses along my neck and jaw line.

I was rooted to the spot. My brain was screaming at me to walk away, but somewhere lower down was taking control and making me want more of what we'd done the night before. I could feel myself becoming very aroused, my body wanted him so much.

He moved so that he was stood behind me, his kisses continuing on my neck but with one hand now touching my breasts, stroking and lightly pinching my nipples through the material of my dress, while the other hand had reached up, through the slit of my dress to find my bare clitoris, stroking it gently. My senses were on fire.

I shifted position, parting my legs slightly and he took the opportunity to slide a finger into me, slowly moving it in and out. A soft moan escaped my lips, as I turned my head towards his and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Can I fuck you?" he whispered.

I shook my head. "Please...", and I moaned. "My boyfriend...", and another, louder moan. "He can't know...", another moan. "Please don't stop..." My head was all over the place, conflicting thoughts crashing against each other but all being consumed by the wave of my rapidly approaching orgasm. I wanted him so badly at that point, but I also knew I mustn't have him.

I gave in. "Please... please fuck me..." I moaned, and he led me back to the bedroom, where I lay down on the bed and parted my legs, my dress hitched up to my waist. He climbed on to the bed, kissed me, and as I felt the tip of his cock at my entrance...

Suddenly the hotel room phone rang, loud against the tranquillity of the room. The noise served to snap my head back a little into reality, and I froze as my brain started to take over again. I reached my hand down to stop him sliding into me, although I didn't make him move it away.

The phone stopped ringing as quickly as it started, before starting to ring again a few seconds later.

I put my hand to my face and smiled, saying to my Partner in Crime, "I think it's for you."

He smiled ruefully and climbed off me to answer it, and I could hear a hurried conversation. I'd taken the opportunity to get my dress back in place, straighten out my hair and in general try to look like someone who should be walking through a hotel lobby in the middle of the day and who isn't a sex worker.

Coming back over, he said, "That was reception, apparently we've overstayed our check out and they've asked us to leave as soon as we can."

I smiled, "Probably not bad timing... you're naughty. Not a bad end to a very good dinner."

"No, you're right." He smiled back. "Guess that scuppers what we were about to do. Are you leaving right now?"

"Yes, I think so. I need to process what happened here, I need some space to think. That phone ringing snapped me back to reality."

"Can I see you later?"

"That depends on what you mean by see me later?"

"Well... I was thinking you could come over, I make you dinner..." and he smiled suggestively.

"I've got a boyfriend." I replied. "As you well know... Last night was amazing, but... I need to process."

"So, how about if seeing you later meant grabbing a relaxed drink? Seeing you later as friends."

"It's hard to think about that when you're asking me while you're naked, it's very distracting, but I'd like that. I think. Text me where and when?"

"Ok."

And with that, I leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek, not quite resisting 'accidentally' brushing past his still hard cock, and left the room.

Leaving the hotel I felt a little overdressed, wearing my high heels and dress from the night before. But nobody batted an eyelid apart from one middle aged man who was waiting in the hotel lobby and quickly got a scolding from his wife.

Once I got home, my first priority was a shower. The hot water felt great, but even though I was still pretty aroused from my Partner in Crime's attempts to get me to stay longer I resisted the temptation to touch myself. The previous night's activities had, for once, satisfied my sex drive at least temporarily.

Having got out of the shower and put my running kit on, suddenly the enormity of the previous night hit me, and I felt sick to the stomach. I'd cheated. I'd crossed my red lines. I'd slept with someone other than my boyfriend. And I'd had four separate orgasms, all incredibly intimate in their own way. I felt like shit. Should I tell my boyfriend? What would he do?

But then... my boyfriend was thousands of miles away. How much worse was it really to sleep with someone, no strings attached, than to use a sex toy for example? And I'd been drunk, so it wasn't the real me last night. Just a much more wanton, aroused version of me.

As I worked out in the gym I came to an accommodation in my head. A narrative that me cheating, while not ideal, was ok, that it scratched an itch that otherwise would have lingered on potentially much more harmfully throughout my time on this overseas rotation. That me cheating was a one off, never to be repeated. That it would be selfish to tell my boyfriend, that the kind thing to do was to keep it to myself. I knew deep down that I was kidding myself, that what I'd done was cheating plain and simple, but show me someone who doesn't get by in life by lying to themselves and I'll show you a liar.

When I finished my workout, I checked my phone and had two messages, one from my boyfriend, one from my Partner in Crime. It's probably an indication of where my head was at that afternoon that I looked at the one from my Partner in Crime first.

Partner in Crime: Hey, really enjoyed last night. Still keen on a drink later?

Me: Yeah, sounds good. Think we need to discuss some things. How about that new place near my office?

Partner in Crime: Great, it's a date. 7pm?

'It's a date'. Not ideal wording after the events of the last 24 hours.

Me: It's a drink, that's all. No repeat of last night. 7pm is good, see you there.

As far as I was concerned the drink later was an opportunity to clear the air and not let things fester after the night before. I wanted us still to be friends and the longer we left it the harder it would be to get past what had happened. But very definitely the drink later was only going to be a drink. There was no way I was getting into this any further than I had already.

I switched over to read the text from my boyfriend.

Boyfriend: Having a great time on the stag do. Hope your dinner last night was fun, sorry about me getting jealous - I just want it to be me having dinner with you. I miss you and I love you x

I replied quickly.

Me: Dinner was fun and don't worry about jealousy, I miss you and love you too x

He must have been right on his phone though as he replied straight back:

Boyfriend: Glad it was fun and hope you managed to get tucked up in bed early. Plans for rest of weekend? x"

A tricky one. Probably best to keep as close to the truth without revealing too much.

Me: Chilled one really, just been to gym and not planning much later. x

I mean, strictly that was true. He didn't need to know that I was meeting my Partner in Crime for a drink, as that was only going to be a quick thing.

Boyfriend: Great, I'll give you a call tomorrow morning. Speak then x

Me: Great, speak then x

I felt pretty good about things at this point. Yes, last night hadn't been ideal, but I was confident that I could keep it secret, that it wouldn't impact on my friendship with my Partner in Crime, and that it wouldn't impact on my relationship. Basically, that I could have my cake and eat it.

Evening came around quickly, and so did time to get ready for the drink. While I had no intention of it leading to anything, I still wanted to look good. The bar I'd chosen had opened recently and had a really relaxed vibe to it, you could go for a drink, some casual food, but it was generally pretty busy so had a good buzz to it. It was also very informal dress code which sounded perfect to me after dinner the night before.

I had a nice new pair of jeans that I'd bought recently, ones that fit tightly, showing of my toned legs and butt. I was definitely going to wear those (no harm in showing my Partner in Crime what he was missing out on), with a brown leather belt and a white vest top. Keeping it casual, on my feet I wore some strappy white sandals.

Having had to spend a reasonable part of the night before wearing the ugliest underwear that I owned, only for it to do absolutely no good at all, I resolved to go in completely the opposite direction that evening. Wearing really nice underwear not only felt good, it also gave me a lot of confidence and self-belief. I'd bought a matching pair of red lace thong and bra in anticipation of my boyfriend's visit but decided to wear them that evening for the first time, knowing that I was dressed in a sexy way beneath my clothes was very empowering.

Overall, when I was dressed, I knew that I looked hot. But casual hot, rather than the classy hot from the night before. To finish the look, I applied only very light make-up and decided to wear my hair in a ponytail.

I decided to walk to the bar but got caught up waiting to cross the road at some traffic lights so ended up arriving a few minutes after 7. The bar was busy with a nice buzz to it, and my Partner in Crime was already there at a table. He had a beer, and offered to get me a drink which I gladly accepted.

"Champagne?" he said with a smile.

I laughed, "No, not tonight. A glass of white wine?"

We settled down with our drinks and made awkward small talk. It kept flashing through my head that this was the person that, not 12 hours ago, had been naked, touching me through my dress and damned near bringing me to an orgasm, let alone what we'd got up to the night before. I got the feeling similar thoughts were going through his head too.

I have to be honest he was looking good. Going with the casual vibe he was wearing long shorts and a t-shirt, with flip flops on his feet. The t-shirt accentuated his muscles underneath in all the right places, not that I was paying attention to that at the time.

The small talk died down and we sat there in slightly awkward silence for maybe 30 seconds.

He spoke first. "So... what was last night?"

I blushed. "I've been thinking the same. What do you think?" Put the ball back in his court.

"Well, I'll put my cards on the table here. It was great. I had an amazing time. Not just in the hotel room, but everything before. I really, really enjoyed our time together."

That got me thinking. I'd been fixating on what had happened after dinner and given no thought to earlier in the evening. It had been good, we'd really clicked over dinner and I'd not enjoyed spending time with someone like that in a long time. Dare I admit it, but there had been a very definite spark between us.

"Dinner was great, I think we get on brilliantly. And... later on... was also great." I blushed again. "Really great. I mean really really great."

"Ok, so we both thought it was great. Really great. That's a start."

"And...?"

"...and I'd really like it if last night wasn't the only time that we were really great together." He was looking deep into my eyes as he said this. "Maybe there could be more times that we're really great together too?"

I sighed. "I've got a boyfriend. We agreed last night that it was for last night only."

He took my hand in his across the table, interlocking his fingers with mine. I should have pulled my hand away but didn't, his touch sending what felt like little jolts of electricity through me. His thumb started to gently stroke my fingers.

"What if last night meant something? We've got undeniably great chemistry, right?"

I looked at him and nodded reluctantly. Our legs were touching under the table by now, though I couldn't say whether that was deliberate on his part of accident. But the body to body contact dialled things up another notch.

He continued, "And what harm would it do for us to explore that a bit more? He would never need to know, it could be our secret."

I said and did nothing. Inside I was torn, between the part of me that valued fidelity and the part that was willing to acknowledge that yes, there was a huge attraction to my Partner in Crime that maybe could be explored in a harmless way.

"If you didn't have a boyfriend, would we be dating by now?" he said.

I hesitated, "...yes." I admitted. "I think so."

"So why don't we give this a chance. Explore this. See what happens."

"I've got a boyfriend. I can't be unfaithful to him, I can't do that. Last night was... ", I searched for the right words. "... was a drunken one night stand, it wasn't the start of something."

"You regret last night?"

I paused for a long few seconds, thinking how to respond. Finally, I said, "No, I don't. It was the best one night stand of my life." I took his other hand in mine and looked into his eyes. "No regrets. But I have to be faithful to my boyfriend." Trying to reassure him, I then said, "I'm going to be completely honest with you. My feelings right now, sitting here, looking at you, every fibre of my being wants to say yes, let's explore some more, it could be great. But I can't be that person that's unfaithful, I just can't."

Quietly, looking away he replied, "How about being faithful to yourself?"

I looked at him quizzically. "How do you mean?"

He looked back at me. "You're worrying about your boyfriend and ignoring your own feelings. But you owe it to yourself to explore this. What if this is it? What if you and me are meant to be? To fall head over heels in love? To grow old together? You have a chance to explore this, and if you don't then you'll always wonder what might have been. But if you do, you'll always know that you tried it out, whoever you end up with in the long term. And it can be secret, we can make sure that no one gets hurt." He paused. "That's what I mean by being faithful to yourself."

That resonated. It really did. Be faithful to myself. Try this out, and a win-win situation where I either confirm my love for my boyfriend or realise that I want to be with someone else.

I was wavering. "If we explored this... what would it look like?"

"You want it to be secret?" I bit my lip and nodded but said nothing. "Then we would keep it secret, even from your flatmate. We're ok until she gets back tomorrow afternoon, but then after that we take our chances when we can. People already expect us to go to things together as Partners in Crime, so we just do a bit more of that and maybe rather than going for dinner together we go somewhere else more private. But if you want it kept secret, we'll keep it secret."

I realised that I wanted this, I really wanted it more than anything. Being faithful to myself, and in a perverse way by doing that also in the long run being more faithful to my boyfriend. But my brain was still functioning somewhere within this, and it was holding out for common sense to take over, even as images of that morning and the night before flashed through my memory.

"I... I don't know... this is so much. I need to think." I finished my glass of wine and stood up to go. I opened my mouth to say something further, but couldn't think of the right words, so instead I leaned over, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and walked out of the bar. My Partner in Crime sat there, looking deflated and resigned to spending his evening alone.

When I got outside my head was spinning with so many conflicting emotions rushing through it. Dominating them all though was the terrible thought that I'd just done something that couldn't be undone, that there was no way back with my Partner in Crime having walked out on him. I realised that already, just a few minutes later, I was suffering from huge amounts of regret. What if he was the one? And was this going to be something that I regretted for the rest of my life?

I started walking down the street towards my building, then stopped and turned around, then turned around and started walking back to my flat again. I was so torn... turn around and that was it, I'd consciously, actively made the decision to cheat on my boyfriend. No excuse of alcohol. No excuse of getting caught up in the flow of things like the night before. I would be going back to another man and, without a doubt, I'd be doing things with him that I should only be doing with my boyfriend.