Valerie spoke to the crowd in ball room of the local Holiday Inn who were gathered to celebrate her and Jacob's 25 Anniversary. "I want to thank everyone who came tonight to help Jacob and I celebrate the end of 25 years of marriage. No marriage comes without its challenges, upsets, financial problems and, well, whatever shit Murphy has for you. Jacob and I have made it through all that together without killing each other. Along the way, we produced two lovely young adults who I hope will make the world a better place. (Everyone applauded)
"While I wouldn't trade the last 25 years for anything, my next 25 years will be quite a bit different. During this celebration, movers have been taking my things out of what is now just Jacob's house to my new house. (The crowd began to murmur, and Jacob exchanged 'What's going on' looks with his daughters.)
"Tonight, I am starting a new life. One that hopefully will last 25 years with just as many good memories. Those previous good memories from my 25 years with Jacob took a lot of energy, sweat, cooperation and self-sacrifice on my part. I do not regret one moment of it. I wish to thank my husband for his part in making all those years so worthwhile.
She took a while to gather herself together, then she continued, "Well, now I'm going to be selfish as I become a senior but still have my health. I doubt many of you will approve of what I am doing, especially Jacob and the girls, but I'm doing what I want from now on. I'm ready to do what I want to do and not have to worry about how any of my decisions may affect my husband or my family or my friends. If any of you don't like it, you don't have to. I don't care anymore.
"Thank you to those you have been friends and neighbors over the years. Fuck you to all those who were pains in the ass. There's no need to prolong this any longer. I'm outta here." Valerie went over to Jacob and handed him an envelope. She had tears in her eyes but left without saying anything to him. Then she headed for the door as the crowd split to make an exit for her. The murmuring got really loud.
The girls came over to their dad and asked, "What the hell is going on Dad? Is Mom for real? Is this some practical joke?"
"You know as much as I do. I'm stunned like you are. Let's see what is in the envelope." He tore it open. The heading 'Petition for Divorce' stood out. He read the contents quickly. "She is divorcing me. She has already taken half the checking and savings account and will sell me her half of the house's equity, or we call sell the house."
"Are you sure it's real, Dad?"
"As real as my broken heart."
"Dad, you can't let her do this. Go after her and get her to come back."
"I suspect she's already been got."
"You mean she has another man?"
"Probably."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Probably sign the papers and get drunk. I don't want a wife who doesn't want me."
"Daddy, let us talk to her. Maybe we can bring her to her senses."
By now the crowd had left. Jacob and the girls cleaned up the mess while stopping to cry periodically.
In a few days, the girls came back with a report. "Mom has gone bat-shit crazy. She is shacking up with a guy only two years older than Melody! It was sickening. She was hugging and kissing on him the whole time she was talking with us. It was worse than a fucking teenage make out party. She says she got tired and bored of you and her life after we left home. She didn't say 'Empty Nest Syndrome' but we both suspected it. When she looked at the future, she said she couldn't stand the idea of 25 or more years of the same old shit. She wants to have some fun. She says she has moved on with her life and advised you do so too."
"I guess I need to see a lawyer and see what my options are."
Two days later his attorney-to-be informed him: "You have two options - get fucked or get fucked even worse. You lose despite the supposed even split because she has just changed addresses and dicks. So, unless you find a woman who makes good money to move in with you immediately, my advice is to sign the papers and get it over with and move on."
*****
THE SETTLEMENT
At the final hearing, Jacob was supposed to bring the check for half the equity from the sale of the house and furnishings. Valerie's boy toy was there sitting beside Valerie. Val was dressed like she was 20 years younger. The dyed hair made her look younger until you looked deeper to see her wrinkles around her neck that revealed her hidden age. As the girls had described earlier, she almost had sex with the boy while they were waiting.
When she did speak to Jacob, she offered, "Since we still have the two girls in common, there will be times when we will all be together. After being married for 25 years, we should at least be able to be friends."
"No, Valerie. We will not be friends."
"Why not?"
"Because when we were married, I loved you. I loved you more than anything else in the world. Now, I don't even like you. We will NEVER be friends. This is a warning: be careful. You do not want to make me an enemy."
Boy-toy, Buster interrupted with a smirk and snarky comment. "I want to see the backup documents for all the expenses from the selling of the house. I don't trust him not to cheat you."
Jacob's lawyer passed the documents to Buster. He read over them while Valerie nibbled on his ear and helped him read the words that had more than one syllable. Jacob began to plan what he would do to both of them in revenge.
*****
CELEBRATION
A few weeks later, Valerie and Buster were celebrating the final divorce decree in their home that night. Besides liquor, weed was involved. They were both pretty stoned and put-up little resistance when someone in a gas mask burst into their apartment. Soon both were unconscious from a noxious substance sprayed in their faces.
They woke up to find they were both tied up naked in chairs, sitting back-to-back, unable to see the other. Valerie was the first to recognize Jacob as their captor. "Jacob, what are you doing? Untie us immediately. You are in a lot of trouble, asshole."
"Let's see. I am standing here free to walk about while you and boy toy are tied up in uncomfortable chairs. I would venture to say that it is you two are the ones in trouble."
Buster threatened, "Untie me old man or I'll kill you!"
Jacob laughed. "Shut up, junior. The adults want to talk. Valerie, you broke one of our wedding vows, forsaking all others. I have decided I will make sure you keep another marriage vow - till death do us part."
"You won't kill us. You are a better man than that. When we ran over our dog that time, you cried for days and paid to have the dog buried in the pet cemetery. You wouldn't do anything to prevent you from seeing our daughters and our future grandchildren. Now, let us go and I promise Buster and I won't turn you in."
"That man you described in such glowing terms when you announced you were abandoning your family is DEAD. That man you thanked would never do anything like what THIS man plans to do. Sorry, Valerie, but you didn't quite know me as well as you thought. Any more comments before I start?"
"What are you going to do?"
