"Oscar darling, I hope you don't mind, but I've invited our new neighbour round for a drink this evening." Irene announced, rather than asked.
"Oh, ok, I suppose not," Oscar replied, irritated at having his evening disturbed, "what new neighbour?"
"She's just moved in two floors below us, and she doesn't know anyone yet. I met her in the lift earlier today. You may like her, she's quite attractive, and younger than us." Irene explained, sweetening the pill a little.
It was a Wednesday evening and Oscar and Irene had just finished dinner, so Oscar had been looking forward to relaxing in front of the TV, rather than entertaining a new neighbour. On the other hand, if she really was good looking and younger than Irene, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
"Do I need to change or anything?" He enquired, hoping she would say no.
"That would be nice dear," Irene replied, dashing his hopes, "I guess I had better do the same."
About an hour later there was a knock on the door. Oscar noticed that it wasn't the gentle, tentative knock he had been expecting, but a firm and demanding double rap. He wondered whether it might be someone else, but that seemed unlikely on a Wednesday evening.
Oscar rose wearily from his usual comfortable chair and went to open the door, and as he swung it back he was immediately struck by how very attractive this woman was. His wife had seriously undersold their new neighbour, and Oscar was momentarily thrown.
"Hello, you must be Oscar." The woman announced, walking straight past him into the apartment. Oscar was left holding the door feeling redundant.
"Jackie," Irene called from across the room, "I'm so glad you could come, what would you like to drink?"
"G and T would be good, if you have it." She replied as she settled into Oscar's favourite chair.
"Oscar darling, get Jackie her gin and tonic, and I'll have my usual Cava." Irene instructed in a rather peremptory tone.
It struck Oscar that this newcomer was imprinting her attitude onto his wife already, which made him irritated, but also a little aroused. He poured the drinks and handed the Cava to his wife then the gin and tonic to Jackie, trying not to look down the top of her dress, and failing miserably. She gave him an amused look, making it perfectly clear that she had noticed his furtive glance.
"Get yourself a drink Oscar," Irene instructed, "we don't want to drink alone."
"Yes...right." Oscar replied, unsure at the tone of voice his wife had used.
Oscar poured himself a cold St Miguel and perched himself on the footstool in front of their assertive guest, but as soon as he glanced at her he realised that he could see part way up her dress, and quickly averted his eyes and looked towards his amused wife.
"Your husband is quite sweet, Irene, is he fully trained?" Jackie asked with a mischievous smile.
"I'm not sure what you mean Jackie?" Irene replied, sounding puzzled.
"Well, does he do housework, is he obedient and respectful, and so on." Jackie answered.
"Hmmn," Irene thought out loud, "not really Jackie...no...I can't say that he is."
"Well, we've some work to do then." Jackie concluded.
Oscar listened to the exchange between the two women, feeling increasingly annoyed at the way they were talking about him as if he wasn't there. He also wondered exactly what Jackie meant when she talked about him doing housework, and being respectful, as if they were things he should be doing if he were a good husband.
"So, Jackie, tell us all about yourself," Irene asked, "are you single, married, in a relationship?"
Jackie looked thoughtful for a moment before replying.
"Well, I was married, but that didn't work out, so I suppose I'm single, but I have several boyfriends to choose between, when I feel in need of a man." Jackie answered.
"Oh, right," Irene responded, sounding a little flustered, "and do you need a man very often?"
"Quite often, yes, I mean I'm not a lesbian, so I need men for sex, and I have quite a high sex drive, so I call on my guys pretty regularly. I also like them to do chores for me, cleaning, laundry, DIY and so on, so I get them to do those things before they get any action." Jackie explained to her shocked audience.
"I'm sorry," Irene blurted out, "do you mean you phone one of your boyfriends and ask them to visit you to do domestic chores, and then give them sex?"
"Well, not quite, they usually ring me, to ask if I have any jobs for them to do, 'cos they know that if they want sex with me they have to earn it. If they do their chores well, I let them use their skills to please me, and finally, if I'm totally happy with their efforts, I'll give them some relief." Jackie explained to her incredulous neighbours.
Oscar was so stunned by what their guest had said that he couldn't say anything in reply, however, his wife wasn't quite so reticent.
"It seems to me that you have your life completely sorted Jackie, maybe you can give me a few tips?" She suggested.
Oscar's mouth fell even further open as he heard Irene's endorsement of Jackie's lifestyle. The idea that his wife might try to emulate their new neighbour's regime was not what he wanted to hear.
"I hope you aren't getting any ideas from what you're hearing, Irene, as there's no way I'm doing household chores to earn sex." Oscar announced forcefully.
"Irene is an attractive woman, so, I'm sure she can find plenty of men who are willing to earn sex with her," Jackie retorted, smiling at Irene, "what do you think Irene?"
"I've no idea Jackie," Irene responded, her face flushing pink from embarrassment, "I have no intention of being unfaithful to my husband anyway, so it's completely hypothetical."
"As you wish," Jackie replied, ending the conversation.
"So what job do you do?" Irene asked, starting a new, and hopefully less contentious subject.
"I'm CEO of a listed company," Jackie replied, smiling sweetly at Oscar, who was, once again, peering up her skirt.