The Magic Boxers

Author's note: This story is the third in the continuing marital adventures of Jerry and Karen, following Aftermath and Limelight

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"Look at these boxers I got for you at Kohl's," Karen proudly stated, "Ninety percent off!"

The Steelers were in the process of blowing another fourth quarter lead as I quickly glanced up, before returning my eyes to the fifty eight inch plasma. "Damn it, can't we cover anybody?" I screamed at the TV. "Don't sit back, blitz the damn quarterback!"

"They were regularly twenty four dollars for the pair but I only paid two forty," Karen continued.

"That's great, Honey..." I said not taking my eyes off the screen. "Come on Ike, quit that swaggin' bullshit and COVER someone!"

"OK, I'm going to leave a pair on the towel rack for you to wear tomorrow. Please try them and see if you like them. They have two more packs on the discount rack. I'll stop by after work if you like them... "

She kissed me on the forehead, "I love you! Please don't fall asleep on the sofa because your back will get sore. You can check out Tomlin's press conference on the internet tomorrow morning. I have to go into work early tomorrow... Good night, honey."

"I love you, too. Good night..."

Karen, wonderful wife that she is, had gone shopping for the evening, leaving me to enjoy the game in peace. For males growing up in this part of Pennsylvania, rooting for the "Stillers" borders on a Sunday religious experience. However, this was a Thursday night game in Tennessee. Chalk that up to NFL greed. Pittsburgh ended up blowing the game, courtesy of a surprisingly porous defense and a last second field goal, and I fell asleep on the sofa, before sometime in the middle of the night crawling into bed.

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"Shit!" I bitched, before hitting the snooze alarm for about the fifth time.

I looked at the alarm clock and it read 6:00am. I had thirty minutes to get ready for work. A shave and shower along with brushing my teeth while sitting on the toilet took twenty of those, and then my left contact wouldn't sit right in my eye, leaving me with five minutes to get dressed. I grabbed the boxers that Karen had draped over the towel rack last night.

Blue smiley faced boxers? I looked at the tag. Croft and Barrows, size small, one hundred percent polyester. What is this? I have worn cotton underwear my whole life. The clock was ticking. I had to get on the road before the school bus passed our house, otherwise, I'd be stuck on the two lane road for an extra twenty minutes and be late for work. I grabbed the boxers and put them on...

The polyester material felt soft against my skin and they were way too small. But the silky fabric seemed to massage my flaccid penis into a hard-on almost immediately. Damn! They felt good! Nothing brightens a man's morning mood like sexual arousal, the only bad part being Karen had already left and I needed to move quickly and go to work myself. "Perhaps tonight..." I thought to myself thinking about my beautiful wife, "...she will reap the benefits of her purchase!"

I quickly finished getting dressed, hustled to the garage, fired up the Fusion, and raced down the driveway narrowly beating the yellow Blue Bird school bus. On the entire drive to work my dick was as hard as a rock as I sang in duet with Bruce Dickinson. It felt like it was going to be a very good day!

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"So what made you decide to stick a cucumber down your shorts?"

I was two-handing a mug by the coffee machine when the trio appeared. Abby, Brenda and Connie were giving me the visual once over with huge smiles on their faces. I hesitated in speaking, slightly embarrassed. They, however, continued...

"Gee... I never knew Karen was such a lucky girl."

"I don't think I've ever seen anything so LARGE. Forget the ruler, let's go find a yardstick."

My current tormentors were at one time known as the "Three Babesketeers." In their younger days they were women that every man desired. Now, approaching middle age, they were generally considered MILF's with an asterisk (IIWHM—if I wasn't happily married.) Abby and Brenda were in their early forties and married with kids in high school. Each carried a couple of extra pounds that seem to come with age, but they both wore them very well. They were not beauty queens but were attractive and stylish.

Connie, in her late thirties and recently divorced with a young teenage daughter, was simply a beautiful woman in a natural, girl next door kind of way. Unfortunately for her, her ex-husband dentist decided to sample his twenty four year old hygienist over a period of several months, and she took him the proverbial cleaners. As she once confided in me, "The sex I may have been able to forgive over time, the lies I never will..." Looking at her smiling in front of me, I couldn't help but think the guy was a total idiot!

But in spite of their collective attractiveness, the reason why these girls ruled our work section is that they were not stuck up at all. They all loved to joke around. Every man was a victim of their verbal sexual harassment and it made for a fun work environment. They were hard workers and did their jobs expertly, but they had an instinctive sense of when cut loose and lighten the mood.

"OK, Jerry, here is what we are going to do..." Abby started, "You are going to take us to lunch today and we're going to play a game. Each of us gets one guess, and if we can correctly explain why you are so......ahh....'vertical' today, you must buy our lunch. If we can't guess the correct reason, we will buy your lunch. Want to play?"

"What restaurant?"

The girls looked at each other.

"Olive Garden!"

"I'm in..."

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The Friday lunch time crowd had the Italian restaurant buzzing. We asked the hostess to sit us in a quiet room. After ordering, the waitress brought salad and bread sticks. Abby picked up one of the hot pieces of dough and smiled at me, "OK, big boy, I'll go first... But you promise not to lie, right?"

"Nothing but the truth, I promise."

"Good... Here's my guess, I think Karen dressed you up in some pink panties or nylons this morning," she stated hopefully.

"Hmmm... Interesting, Abby... Where would you ever come up with an idea like that? Care to share any personal stories about you and Mike (her husband)?" I teased.

"Yeah, Ab... Don't hold out on us..." smiled Brenda, "Start spilling..."

Turning a bright share of red, Abby talked in a low voice, "One night Mike and I decided to trade underwear for the night. Damn, he looked so cute in those panties I was leaking before I got on the bed. He must have like it too, because he was SO hard that night... He got it up three times! Don't you EVER breathe a word of this to ANYONE! He'd kill me..."

"A man like Mike in panties... Wow!" I teased, "Wait until the guys find out about this..."

"Jerry!"

"OK, Abby, your secret's safe. But to answer your guess, no, I am not wearing panties or nylons. Brenda, you're up."

"Did you overdose on those little blue pills last night?"

"Brenda, interesting guess... Does Sam (her husband) take Viagra?"

She started blushing, "He orders generics from India. They cost less than a dollar a pill. He had some performance issues, so I started insisting that he come to bed hard, no excuses."

"No way!" Connie marveled.

"It's true. I need it, girls, almost every night. The pills are just a little insurance policy for him and cost less than a cup of coffee. Sam doesn't have a problem with this..."

"Gee, Brenda... I wonder why... Pussy every night!" I blurted out, as the girls suddenly looked over to me with wry smiles on their faces, "No wonder the guy's always happy..."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Abby asked.

"His doctor gave him the name of the website HE orders from... Chemically the ingredients are the same. His doctor feels the benefits out way the risks. I agree."

"What's the name of the website? And, no, I'm not juiced up today, Brenda..."

"I'll have to get it for you. Connie, it's your turn."

"Jerry, are you having or think of having an affair? Is that what has got you so excited?" Connie quietly asked.

"I've only slept with one woman for the last twenty five and a half years and that includes our courtship and engagement. I'd divorce Karen first, before I'd ever cheat on her. But we're doing real good right now... We've always had a good marriage but the vacation in Mexico really brought us closer together."

"So you're not thinking of giving me a little relief with that big stick of yours?" Connie teased.

"Oh... trust me, I think about it. And it's not that big by the way," I winked. "But you got rid of one cheating asshole, I'd just be another. Besides, I think you standards are quite a bit higher than someone like me. A handsome millionaire stud I am not."

"Don't be silly, if you were available I'd snap you up in a heartbeat, but I know you're not and never will be. Honestly, I'd settle for a MAN who could be faithful..."

"Girls, we lost..." Abby lamented. "OK, Jerry, you've got lunch on us, but I think I'd like an explanation please...

I told them about the blue smiley faced boxers that Karen had bought at Kohl's. They were all disappointed and told me that was a "boring" story and wasn't worth the price of a lunch. I had enjoyed the conversation and the openness of my co-workers and made the decision to try to gain a little more insight into their thoughts.

"Girls..." I started, "I'll tell you what... I'll make a deal with you."

"What kind of deal?" asked Brenda, looking slightly suspicious.

It was time to bare my soul...

"I love Karen with all my heart. She is my life. On our trip to Mexico I came to realize that even though we've been married for twenty two years, I really don't understand her. Maybe I never will, but I want to make an effort to try. I want to be the best man and husband I can for her."

"Now I could go buy some books and start reading, but that's boring. 'Men are from Pluto and Women are from Saturn,' or something like that... I mean, come on, I want some real advice from people that I know and trust."

"So basically what I'm asking is... I'd like hire you three to be my woman coaches. I want you to teach me how Karen thinks and how I can make our relationship better. I'm willing to pay you in lunches to help me take our marriage to the next level. Are you interested?"

They just stared at me silently for you about fifteen seconds before Abby finally spoke,

"That's beautiful. Wow, I'm kind of stunned. I mean, most guys at this point aren't too interested in putting anything more than the minimum into their marriages."

"The only way Sam would give any thought to our marriage is if they discussed it on "SportsCenter," sighed Brenda.

"So you'll teach me?"

"I like to have fun and joke around, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable talking about personal sex stuff with you," Abby said.

"Girls, I know how to fu..., ah, make love," I countered. "I'm not really interested in specific sex tips. I was thinking about general advice on how you think, what is important to you, what you tell your friends that you don't tell your husbands. I want a behind the scenes look that I can hopefully apply to my marriage."

"And do we get a glass of wine with our lunch?"

"Ha! I take that as a 'Yes?'"

Abby, Brenda and Connie all nodded their heads in approval.

"Great! So let's start today and I'll pay for this lunch. Is that OK with you?"

They smiled and nodded their heads again.

"Karen's birthday is coming up in two weeks and I want to know how you view gifts. Is it the gift that counts? The thought behind the gift? Something practical? Something unique? Girls, any ideas?"

"Every woman is different..." Connie spoke, "but in general, we like to be surprised. We like things out of the normal everyday routine. We like to be kept guessing. At least I do..."

"Any specific suggestions?"

They sat silently for about thirty seconds thinking before Brenda started, "OK, I have an idea. I'll give this a shot. First, has Karen hinted at any gift? Sometimes women will casually mention things..."

"Nothing that I've picked up on..."

"OK, I think perhaps this will work, at least it would with me. Men seem to think that women are blown away by a dozen long stemmed roses, a box of fancy chocolate, or a romantic dinner at some expensive restaurant where the food looks better than it tastes. These things are fine when you're first dating but not for long married couples. Managing money is important and these gifts aren't a great value. They're nice, but..."

"As a working woman, Jerry, the greatest gift that you could give me is... time. Women work all day, as I know Karen does, and then they come home and their second work day begins. Cooking dinner, washing clothes, cleaning the house... there seems to be an endless list of menial chores to do. Don't get me wrong, we know this and accept our responsibility, but it comes at a cost. We are always tired. We rarely feel sexy. It grinds you down to the point where you wonder how much more you can take."

"If I was giving Karen a gift, instead of buying her something, I would hire a maid for her. Something to take the edge off of her evenings... She could come home and relax, take a nice hot bath and unwind. You could cook together, simple dishes or toss a salad together, and believe me; nothing is more romantic than making food together then feeding each other."

"The benefits are twofold. One, she relaxes and two, because of that, she has more time and energy to think about sex with you. Most wives want a lot of sex, I know I certainly do, but it's just that we are so spent at the end of the day that there is nothing left to give, and then the need to sleep overrides the desire to make love. By hiring a maid you can really improve the quality of her life...and yours. Girls, what do you think?"

"Brenda, would you PLEASE suggest this to Mike!" Abby pleaded. "What a great gift..."

"Perfect!" Connie concurred.

I smiled. Never in a million years would I have thought of something so simple, so basic. As the check came I happily paid for the lunch and the girls were pleased. If they were correct, the cost of three plates of lasagna would be a worthy investment. Perhaps more important, I set the stage to gain further insight into my wife's thought process in the future. With Abby, Brenda and Connie's help, I was going to blow Karen away! But first, I wanted to test their advice before I sunk a bunch of money into a house cleaning service.

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Returning to the military base, I asked my boss if I could leave early after promising that there were no immediate security issues to be handled, and that I would return tomorrow morning to finish some outstanding paperwork. Saturday was normally a day off for me...

Stopping at Wegman's on the way home, I purchased fresh fruit and vegetables to cook dinner. By the time I got home, the boys had already left for their jobs. I had the whole house to myself. Instead of wasting the afternoon reading stories in Literotica, I dove into the household chores that Karen normally does.

I gathered up all the dirty clothes and started washing, being careful to separate the whites from the colors. I dusted all the furniture and then vacuumed the carpet. I cleaned the bathrooms with scrubbing bubbles and then got down on my hands and knees and washed up the floors with hot soapy water. Shit! No wonder Karen was tired all the time... This sucked!

Every forty five minutes I kept feeding a new load into the washing machine and dryer, carefully hanging up clothes to make sure none of Karen's blouses or pants got wrinkled. Focusing on the kitchen, I wiped out the microwave and refrigerator, vowing to have a long talk with our sons about the messes they seemed to be making. They were pigs! Was I that dirty when I was younger? I called my mother while I was loading the dish washer for a second time and apologized. She asked me if I was drinking...

By five o'clock I inspected the house. The rooms actually looked clean. "Not too, bad!" I thought to myself. I lit a smokeless scented candle in the bathroom and then focused on cooking dinner. I diced potatoes and zucchini in preparation for one of Karen's favorite vegetable dishes, and then butchered a pineapple for desert. My knife skills with the tropical fruit were crude.

Half past five, Karen's car pulled up the driveway. Upon entering the house she was greeted with a glass of wine and an invitation.

"Sit down and relax, honey, I'm drawing you a bubble bath. While you're soaking I'll be cooking dinner."

"Don't be silly, I have to wash clothes."

"Done."

"What do you mean?"

"The clothes are washed, the house is cleaned, I'm cooking dinner and you are going to relax and enjoy the evening. I'm going in the bathroom to turn on the hot water right now."

"What in the world is going on here?"

"I think it must be those boxers you bought last night. They must have some magic in them."

As Karen soaked, I lightly fried the vegetables in olive oil along with mustard seed, turmeric and a touch of chili power. I streamed broccoli and a pouch of rice in the microwave. When I heard Karen getting out of the tub I raced to the laundry, pulled a hot towel from the dryer and wrapped her in it as she stepped from the water. She purred like a kitten.

"This is really good," she stated at the dinner table, "When did you learn to cook?"

"I watch you all the time."

"And here I thought you were just checking out my body."

"That too..."

I listen intently as Karen told me about her day, asking specific questions to show that she had my undivided attention. The conversation had an increased intimacy as she seem to touch arm or hand with every sentence. I succeeded in making her average workday musings seem like the most interesting subject in the world, and she loved the attention!

After eating I loaded the dishes in the dish washer and wiped down the kitchen, while Karen had another glass of wine. She watched me with a bemused expression on her face.

"I could get used to this..."

"Maybe we can work something out."

"Honey, do you think we have time to run down to Kohl's? I'd really like to get those other two packs of boxers, they're such a good value, especially since you seem to like them. We'll still have plenty of time to play tonight before the boys come home from work. "

"Sure, whatever you want, go get ready..."

Karen emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later wearing a skin tight brown acrylic long sleeve sweater dress that came halfway up her thigh. Topping it off was her black thigh high leather boots, in which she folded over the top cuff so that it flared out just above her knees.

"Do I look OK?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes as she pirouetted for me.

"You're going to get it tonight for sure, big time."

"Promises, promises," she smiled, squeezing my erection through my jeans.

"Let's go!"

The thirty minute ride down to Kohl's was painfully uncomfortable for me as Karen and I held hands the whole way. Having a wooden stick down your pants hurts! Heat seemed to surge through Karen's body as she warmed the whole car. Ideas kept creeping into my mind as I replayed the advice of the girls at lunch. Be spontaneous. Keep her guessing. I had the perfect opportunity tonight and knew that I had to take advantage of it.

I pulled up to the front door of Kohl's and put on the emergency brakes and the hazard lights. Karen started to get out of the car and I stopped her by not letting go of her hand.

"Karen, sit down and listen to me," I spoke in a commanding voice. "I want you to take off your panties."

"What?"

"Take off your panties right now and put them on the dash."