The Letter

Chapter 2

Anna lived alone. Her husband had walked out on her years ago, and she had never divorced him. She never wanted him to be free of her. She was a beautiful woman and had her choice of male suitors.

Anna has chosen two men as her lovers, and she shares her time with them equally. Both of them are highly successful men who vie for her full-time affections. Liam, a young bachelor who made money in investment banking, and Watson, a distinguished older gentleman. He is a highly successful banker and the CEO of a large regional bank, a widower with three beautiful daughters. They are all married and good friends with Marcy.

As we went inside, I saw Maryland, Marcy's sister, was waiting for us. I wondered what they had to do with this debacle I was dealing with.

"Anna, what is going on? Maryland, why are you here?" I asked.

They looked at each other, and Anna said, "We know what happened, and we want to talk with you about it before you make a rash decision about the future of your marriage and your future life."

"I don't think it is any of your business," I said.

"Sit down, Eric, and listen!" Anna said, "What we say may not change anything, but we want to make our plea anyway."

"OK, I have lost everything already, so what do I have to lose listening to you?" I asked.

Maryland brought me a beer and the two of them coffee. She was the first to speak.

"Eric, twenty-three years ago, I was eighteen years old and just learning about sex. What I knew about it made me want to learn more. During this time, Marcy was dating you and a few other guys. One of those was Larry. I had a mad crush on Larry and asked Marcy to ask him to teach me about how to have sex. She had moved past him, and you two were exclusive at the time. Marcy asked Larry, and he agreed, but on one condition. Marcy had to continue to sleep with him.

Marcy didn't like that arrangement, but we both thought it would be over in a short time, and since you weren't married yet, it would be okay. Marcy wanted to tell you about it, but Mom told her not to, or you would probably leave her. We decided to keep it a secret.

Over the next year, Larry and I were lovers, and he was also Marcy's lover. Larry was an incredible lover and an excellent sex teacher. He taught me everything. Marcy and I loved fucking Larry and shared notes on his performance.

Meanwhile, you two were dating, and a year later, you married. Marcy had been fucking Larry a couple of times a month all the time, but she broke off with Larry when you were engaged and focused on you only. Marcy loved you only, never Larry.

Larry and I became a lot more involved. We were having sex three or four times a week. Mom caught us a few times, and Larry tried to seduce Mom, too, but that never happened.

Once I was off to college, I missed Larry. He was such an incredible lover; none of the college guys could fuck like him. I spoke with Marcy about him, and she advised me to leave him and find a guy at college. I tried, but I could not get him out of my mind.

Summer came, and I started to fuck Larry again. He had broken up with the girl he was dating and stopped at the house. I was horny all the time then, so that night when Mom went on a date, Larry fucked me so good. I could not resist him, so we started fucking again. He was incredible, and I just loved fucking him.

Marcy heard from Mom that I was back with Larry, and she was upset. She had me ask him to dinner and then came over to talk to him, asking him to leave me alone. I knew she was right, but there was just something about him that I could not resist.

When Marcy asked Larry to leave me alone, he just smiled but said it was up to me, knowing I loved fucking him. She almost begged him, but he said the only way was for Marcy to date him one last time. Marcy told him no, and Larry said he and I would still be fucking then. That made me happy, but it pissed off Mom and Marcy."

I stopped Maryland. "I am still confused about how this matters." I got up and got another beer.

Anna piped in, "Listen, Eric, none of this might make sense, but it all contributes to what has happened."

Maryland began again...

"Marcy finally agreed to go out with him again if it meant he would leave me alone. That was the last time I went out with Larry.

You were out of town a week later; Marcy went out with Larry. Unfortunately, that night marked the beginning of what has happened over the past twenty years. So, this is all my fault." Maryland began to cry.

I stood and began to pace. I was pissed off now. "You both knew we were married, and Marcy cheated on me with this man, with your approval. How could you endorse that?" I barked, stopping and looking down at them. I was so mad I was shaking.

"HOW COULD YOU?" I yelled, slumping into a chair and crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had to get away and think. I walked out the patio door to the backyard. I paced around the pool, doing many laps, maybe twenty-five or more; I didn't count. What I could not understand was how Anna and Maryland allowed Marcy to continue this charade while my wife was cheating on me and our family for our whole marriage for over twenty years.

An even more critical question was, what was the reasoning? Did he have some lousy evidence on one or all of them? Maybe he had some magical powers, or an evil spell had been cast on them. That made as good a sense as anything because nothing made any logical sense.

As I calmed down, I sat on a lounger and thought about my life with Marcy. It was wonderful. Never in all our years together had I had any thoughts that Marcy could, would, or was cheating on me. She was always a loving wife, mother, and the perfect companion.

The Marcy I knew as my wife and mother of our children was not the same woman who had conducted a twenty-plus-year affair. That was a completely different woman.

I wondered if an emotional or mental condition contributed to her ability to be both women, with each woman living separately in the moments she played her two roles. That was the only real explanation that made sense to me, and it may be the only one I can live with.

Now, I had cooled down to my usual pragmatic self and had questions to ask, so I returned inside.

Mother and daughter sat beside each other on the sofa, not knowing what to expect when I entered the room. I put them at ease by saying, "I am okay now, but I have questions."

"I cannot understand how Marcy could be two separate women. One my loving wife and mother and one our children and the other a slut that carried on this cheating charade for our whole lives together. I do not see how that was possible without her having your help?" I stared at them, knowing they had enabled Marcy all these years.

I looked at both, trying to detect any reaction, but they only looked at one another, and then Anna spoke.

"In the first year, Marcy never saw Larry. She was your wife, and he never even came up in conversation. There was no contact. Then she saw him at a conference, and it all started again. There was something between them that was like magnetism. I knew something was different after that, but I didn't know what. Larry's name still never came up, but I sensed something was wrong. Then, one time, a few months later, when you were out of town, Marcy canceled a card game we had once a month. Marcy had never done that before and had never missed a game. I called her later that night, but she didn't answer her phone or respond to a text I sent. That bothered me. It was unlike Marcy, so I knew something was happening, but didn't know what. I feared that she was seeing someone.

That night, I decided to go to your house early in the morning. So, I was at your house, sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee, when Marcy came home at 6:00 a.m. I had parked down the street, so she did not see my car. She was shocked when she came in and saw me sitting there with a furious look on my face.

It staggered her, and she shrieked, 'Mom, what are you doing here?' She looked disheveled, and I knew she had been out fucking all night. There was no doubt about it.

I was very direct. "No, Marcy, you don't get to ask questions. I do! Where the hell have you been, Marcy? Who did you fuck all night long? I know it was not your husband. Eric is out of town, so who was it?" I was almost screaming at her.

Marcy was stunned, collapsed onto a chair, and began to sob. I let her cry for a while, then stopped her. 'Marcy, stop crying and tell me everything,' I demanded.

Marcy confessed all about Larry and how they had reconnected at the conference, and the flame was ignited again. She couldn't explain why she continued to see him sporadically. Marcy knew it was wrong, but they could not stop for some reason. At that point, they had only met twice since the conference. It was when you were away, spread over three months apart.

I begged Marcy to stop, and she assured me she wanted to and would do her best to stop. I never asked her about it again. I thought she had stopped. From everything I could see, you all seemed very happy. Then the babies came, so I was sure it was over with Larry. Now, we know that was not the case. I was just as shocked as you when Marcy told me what had happened and what she had been doing for over twenty years.

Eric, there has never been anyone else. Marcy has only been with Larry and you. That is not very comforting, but you need to know that."

Anna finished, and I looked at Maryland. Anna looked at her, too.

"Maryland, do you have anything to add?" I asked.

"Yes, unfortunately, I do, or maybe it is good what I will say," Maryland said as she stood and walked across the room to the bookshelf. She took down a book and removed something from it.

Eric, about two years ago in May, you were on an extended business trip to the UK for two weeks. Midway through the first week, Marcy called me and asked me to come for dinner. It had been a while since we did that, so she had sent the kids off to sleep over with friends so we could have time together. I thought it was special. Then, after dinner, that all changed when Marcy unloaded on me, telling me that she had been cheating with Larry for the past eighteen-plus years. No word in the dictionary can summarize my feelings at that exact moment.

Eric, my emotions went completely out of control. Anger, jealousy, fear, more anger, hatred, disgust, and a great deal of sadness for you and the kids. I showed no reaction. I remember holding a cup of coffee as tightly as I could. My hands squeezed the cup so hard, imagining they were around Marcy's neck. It took everything in me to stop me from jumping up and strangling her at that moment. That day, my love for my sister slipped away and still has not fully returned."

Maryland sat silent as tears began running down her cheeks. Anna leaned over and held her. Jesus, what a fucking mess Marcy and Larry had created.

I waited, then asked, "Maryland, you didn't tell your Mom?"

"No, Marcy told me she was done with Larry after their last time together and would never see him again. I wasn't sure that would be true, but I took her word. Your marriage was strong, and you had survived all those years without Marcy being caught. It was wrong, but there was no way I could ever tell anyone what had happened, knowing that what was happening at this minute would happen. I just put it in a compartment in my brain and vowed never to bring it out again. But today came, and I have told you everything I know," she said.

I saw the envelope in Maryland's hand. "What is that envelope?" I asked.

Maryland looked at me and Anna. She looked down at the envelope. She opened it and took out the pages. "Like I said before, this is all my fault, and this is proof. This letter was written by Marcy the day she told me about Larry. I was supposed to mail it, but I never did. At first, it got mixed in with some papers, and I thought I lost it. A few months passed, and I found it, but never mailed it. If I had, the affair would have ended then." Maryland handed me the letter. It was several pages handwritten. I read it twice.

I won't bore you with the details, but it was the last letter Marcy planned to write. The keywords were:

"Larry,

Our time over these many years has been special, but it has strained my marriage daily. I feel guilty and know that what we have done is wrong, and I am a terrible woman for cheating on my husband. This is my final letter, marking the end of our time together. I love only Eric and have never loved you. I love fucking you, but that is not true love. So please do not contact me again; I will do the same. It has been fun.

Your friend

Marcy."

Anna sat back and looked at Maryland. "How could you? You should have mailed the letter, and this would have all ended. What were you thinking? Or you weren't thinking at all? Why didn't you mail it? Does Marcy know you didn't mail it?" Anna was livid, barking out her questions at Maryland!

Maryland cowered away, not having an answer to any of Anna's questions. She finally ran from the room, screaming, "No, she doesn't. I am so sorry!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna asked me, "Eric, what will you do?" As if there was an easy answer. Honestly, I had no idea.

The letter shed a slightly different light on the matter, but it had taken Marcy almost eighteen years to come to her senses and try to end the affair. What happened with the letter was out of her control, but she saw Larry again after the letter was supposed to be sent. They still met again and were fucking for a while. She had even written more letters in the past several months. What did they say? God, what a fucking mess.

I heard a cell phone ringing. I looked at Maryland. She looked at the phone and turned it face down, ignoring the call. Maryland looked at me. "Marcy!"

Then Anna's phone rang several times. She did not answer. She looked at the phone, then at Maryland and me. "Marcy!"

I stood and walked to the sliding door, looking outside for several minutes. I turned and said, "I don't know, but I need to be away from Marcy and talk to a professional about how to deal with this. Currently, I am completely lost as to how to proceed. I know that every man I know would tell me to divorce her, most women, too. But I love Marcy. She has been everything to me every day of our life together. I have thought back over the years and can never remember one time when she ever denied me anything or displayed anything but pure love for me and our kids. I am at a complete loss as to how she was able to do this for all these years without ever giving me the slightest hint of what she was doing. The two of you knew way more than me. If anything, I should be angry with both of you for not telling me. I understand why you didn't, but you should have told me so I could have stopped it years ago." I stated.

Anna spoke, "I am sorry. If I had known they were still seeing each other after we first talked about it, I would have stopped them myself; I am so sorry."

"Well, there is only one person to blame, Marcy. If she had not cheated, none of this would have ever happened, and no one would have been harmed. Now, a lot of people are harmed, and all are innocent people." I said in a disgusted tone.

A sat silently for a few minutes, then spoke. "Anna, thank you and Maryland for telling me everything you know. It has been helpful. It does not make what I must do any easier, but I understand better now. As I mentioned, I need to consult a professional to help me sort through all this. Then, I will discuss it with Marcy and see what happens.

I have to go now. Tell Marcy I don't hate her, and hopefully, this will all work out."

I hugged Anna, and she kissed me on the cheek. "You are a sweet boy, and I am sorry this has happened."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I left Anna's house for a quiet place to think. I went to the library, which is always a peaceful place. There, I could sit and think and also use the internet. I logged on to Google and searched for counselors and lawyers. I found several of each and wrote them down. I had to decide what to do. I could go home and give Marcy the silent treatment, or I could go to a hotel. I chose the hotel, leaving Marcy to sweat and wonder where I was and what I would do now that I knew about her cheating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to the Holiday Inn Express and booked a room for three days. I sat in my room and began trying to figure out what I was going to do. I contacted the counselors first to see how fast I could get an appointment. I could see Dr. Athena Grace in the late afternoon the next day, so I made the appointment. I reviewed the websites of the three lawyers and found one that I like, Edwin Ramos, Esq. He had a small practice focused on divorce, and his reviews indicated that he prioritized the interests of the injured party and was quite successful. I called and made an appointment for the following day.

I took out a pad and began a list of questions for Dr. Grace and Edwin. Then, I wrote a list of the pros and cons of my marriage to Marcy. It turned out to be completely one-sided, with all positives and only two negatives. They were, one... she cheated on me for over twenty years, and two... I didn't understand how she could love me all that time, so she must not have.

As I sat drinking a soda, my phone buzzed. I looked at it and saw a text from Sharon. I opened it. It was a voice message.

Sharon's voice text: "Eric, I hope you are doing OK. Marcy is not doing well. She is distraught, and I am afraid for her well-being. I have been with her the whole time, and she is nearly despondent. What are you going to do? Marcy needs to talk with you as soon as you can bear to be around her. I know this situation is horrible, but she is desperate to talk with you. Please, please talk with her, if only to say you do not hate her or something that will tide her over until you figure out what you will do."

The message disturbed me. I was no longer raging mad. I didn't understand Marcy and how she had done what she did, but I do not hate her. Quite the contrary, I love Marcy as much as I did before all this came to light. I was still bewildered and unsure of what to do. I thought for a few minutes and decided to call Sharon.

The phone rang several times, then, "Oh, thank God, Eric, you called. Marcy is completely devastated. I am very concerned about her. She is in a terrible place, and I am worried. I called her mother, and she is coming over soon. Will you please talk to her for even a minute? At least give her some hope, even if there isn't any. Marcy needs that right now."

When Sharon stopped talking, I said, "Hi Sharon, I am worried about Marcy as well. I do not know what I will do yet, but I understand she needs to hear my voice. But I cannot offer her much reassurance. Put her on the phone, but stay with her. This will be short and may not help much," I said.

I was nervous about the next few minutes. I heard rustling... then... "Hello, Eric, is it you?" came across in a soft, anxious voice.

I paused and said nothing.

"Eric," Marcy asked, even softer.

"Yes, it's me," I said.

"Oh God, Eric, I am so sorry, I am... I love you so much. Please come home and let me try to explain. It may mean nothing, but I must explain it as best as I can. Please come home. I love you!" Marcy's words spilled out over the phone in desperation, almost panic!

I paused again, then said, "Marcy, I need a little more time, probably another day or two. I still love you, but I need to be alone right now. I hope you understand. I will be home in three days, and then we can talk. Can you hold it together until then? Anna will be there soon, and she will help you. I have to go. I love you."

I hung up before Marcy could answer. My heart was pounding. Hearing Marcy's voice was very confusing. I felt sorrow and concern, but no hate or even anger. The love of my life was in severe pain. It was all her own doing, so I felt no responsibility for any of this. I realized we were both victims of this debacle, and if we were to survive, Marcy had to find a way to forgive herself, and I had to forgive her as well.