The next morning, I told Abbie to come downstairs. When she did, still in my robe, she asked, "Can I have some coffee?"
Abbie had returned the day before, Sunday, from what she told me was a girls' weekend in Miami Beach with her buddies Becca and Claire. It was actually a weekend she spent with her lover Roger, a married con man working the Miami area with his wife, Cheryl. Abbie told me she'd do anything to save our marriage. We're going to find out if that's true.
In response to her request for coffee, I said, "Be my guest. You're going to call your father and tell him you won't be coming in today. I want your family to know that you cheated on me. I don't care what you say as long as it's the truth. Tell him you're taking today off. We have some things to do."
She called him. I told her to put him on speaker, "Daddy, I made a big mistake this past weekend. I met a guy and slept with him. Mark knows and I need to stay home to work on my marriage. That's what's most important to me."
"Who's this guy? Why would you do that?"
"I don't know. I can't explain it. The guy is a bad man and he played me. It feels like it happened to someone else. I love Mark. It has never even occurred to me to cheat on him before. Anyway I have to stay home and try to make amends. I won't be in today or maybe the whole week."
"How is Mark. I'm sure he's furious. Did he hit you or anything?"
"Mark is a wonderful man. He would never hit me. He's very upset with me and should be. I'm upset with myself. Ashamed of myself. He probably hates me right now but he wouldn't hurt me. I have to make this up to him and I'll do anything to get us past this."
"Take as much time as you need. Get your marriage straightened out. Don't worry about coming in. Tell Mark if he needs anything to call me. Tell him your family is behind him on this." They hung up.
Abbie looked at me awaiting her next chore when her mother called, "What happened?"
Abbie started crying, "I met a guy in Miami last June. He gave me a sob story I fell for. One thing led to another and we slept together. I can't explain, it just sort of happened. I didn't intend to cheat on Mark but I did. Mark knows and I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Mark is the world to me and I'm willing to do anything to get us through this, to save our marriage."
"You're unbelievable. Mark is the best thing that ever happened to you and you meet some guy and just sleep with him. How long has this been going on?"
"I met him in June and spent this past weekend with him. Those are the only times I've seen him. I'm going to do everything I can to save my marriage. I told Mark I'll do anything he asks. I just hope I can convince him that this was a onetime mistake and that I love him more than life itself. We're still talking, thankfully. He's asking questions, I think he's trying to sort things out in his mind. I need to get off so we can continue the dialogue."
Abbie's mother said, "Tell Mark we love him. I've never been so ashamed of you." She hung up on Abbie.
Abby broke down, really sobbing. I waited until she calmed down some. She looked at me, pleading. I said to this clearly delusional woman who thinks we're engaging in dialogue, "Make some breakfast." She made breakfast for both of us and we sat across from each other not talking. Abbie kept looking at me, waiting for me to say something, trying to figure out what I was thinking. Finally, I said, "If you wanted to see your boyfriend this weekend, how would you go about it? How would you set it up?"
"He's not my boyfriend. Stop saying that." She was pouting. Unbelievable. "He knows I wouldn't be able to see him again so soon. He knows I'm married and can't take off for another weekend right after I was just away."
I said, "We need a story that he thinks I'll believe so you can sneak away to be with him again this week." I thought for a while, "He knows you do appointment scheduling for your father?" Abbie nodded. "Tell him you're going to tell me a made up story so that you can hook up with him this week. The fake story you're going to tell me is that your father bought a new software module for scheduling. It's an upgrade because it attaches to your invoicing system or whatever. Your story is that the training for this new software is on Thursday and Friday this week. You have to attend the training. That will give you an excuse to be away again so soon. Since it's a bogus story, just to deceive me, if he's not available Thursday and Friday, find out when he can meet you. You'll just switch the days in the fake story he thinks you're going to tell me.
"You have to get a hotel room but I don't want you to stay at any of the H's [national hotel chain that I work for] locations. You're telling him it's a made-up story for me so he won't care about details. Just when your arriving, where you're staying and if you'll be wearing panties."
I finished breakfast and got up to get my laptop. I left the dirty dishes for Abbie to collect. In my former married life, I would have picked up Abbie's dishes, my dishes and washed them.
On my way to get my laptop, there was a loud pounding on the door followed by the doorbell ringing and ringing. I opened the door to find Abbie's BFF Becca standing there. She looked upset. She didn't look like she'd slept or even washed her face or brushed her hair. Behind her, her kids were in her car. I asked, "Begging door to door for money and food scraps now, are we Becca? I hope Bob kicked your ass out. You can't stay here. We don't need two sluts stinking up the place."
"Asshole. You and that bitch told Bob about my boyfriend. Bob threw me out and is threatening to divorce me. He's asking if the children are his. He's talking about suing me for paternity fraud. Where's Abbie? I want to talk to that piece of shit."
"Not available to you."
"You're protecting her? You men are idiots. We tell you we're going on a girls' weekend because we want to spend time with each other, hang out. But we do that all the time. We're constantly together. We go to spas together right here. We don't need to travel two hundred miles to Miami Beach to see each other.
"We tell you it's a girls' weekend so husbands aren't allowed. Why not? If the husbands come, the beach and the sun will still be the same. The meals will be the same. The drinks will be the same. Even if you're there with us, we'll still go off to have our massages, beauty treatments and do our shopping. We could even go to clubs on our own if we want. We do that here. What difference does it make if the husbands come? The only reason we don't want our husbands with us is because if you're there, we can't go out on dates. See other men. Sleep with them."
I asked, "Did you tell your husband what you do on girls' weekends?"
She said, "It doesn't matter now. Thanks to you, he's going to get paternity tests. He'll have proof that I haven't 'forsaken all others'. They're not his.
"How stupid are you guys? You know we used to argue about whether you guys were really so clueless that you didn't know what we were up to on our weekends. Even though it was obvious. I always thought you guys knew but didn't want to know. All of you are too scared to confront us so you ignored our little infidelities.
"You had Abbie tell Bob about my boyfriend. Like you were doing a good deed, like you were doing him a favor. Telling him forced him to face reality and do something. He gets all in an uproar and throws me and the kids out. Threatens me. But pretty soon he'll realize that he no longer has a wife, kids or a marriage. He's lost his entire world. Everything he lives for, everything he wants. He'll tell himself that maybe I'll be faithful from now on. So they aren't his kids but he'll tell himself he's the only father they've ever known. He misses them. He misses me. He'll decide to give me a second chance. He'll be sullen, hurt, and angry. Thanks to you guys, he'll be a real pain in the ass for weeks. But he'll get over it. I'll promise never to be unfaithful again. He'll accept my promise even though he'll know deep down it's probably not true. We'll be back to life as it was. I'll just pick my friends better. No snitches, no rats."
I interjected, "Or maybe Bob will realize that he's well rid of a piece of shit like you and get on with his life."
Becca didn't like that so she continued, "Abbie told Bob about me so let me tell you about Abbie. You think she's so pure? When we go on our girls' weekends, I spend the weekend with my boyfriend but Abbie and Claire go to clubs to pick up guys. And they always pick up guys. Abbie holds the record for scoring in one weekend. One guy Friday night, another Saturday night and a matinee with a third guy she picked up on the beach Saturday afternoon."
Becca shouted, "Isn't that right Abbie, it's the quantity not the quality. The queen of one night stands."
Abbie, in the living room, replied weakly, "It's not true."
"And then she met Roger. Last June's girls' weekend, Claire had a date with a guy she already knew so Abbie was on her own. She didn't want to go to a club by herself so she went down to the bar in the hotel. Ten minutes later she picked up this guy Roger. Abbie really fell for him. He sounded like a sad sack, a real loser to me, but to each her own. Unlike all the guys she's picked up before, she couldn't stop talking about Roger. She told us he's her soul mate. She couldn't wait to see him again. You didn't know about Roger, that she and Roger have been going on for months."
Becca was finished with me and started yelling, "Abbie, Abbie. You bitch. Come here. I want to talk to you."
I said, "I'm going to close the door. My doorbell camera is recording you. If you're still on my property in thirty seconds, I'll call the police. Getting arrested will make your day." I closed the door. She stood there furious for a while but eventually turned and walked away.
Abbie was crying again. I asked, "Are we going to hear from Claire too?" Abbie ignored my question. She was back in her fetal position on the couch. I got my laptop and searched for hotels in Miami. I got up the police report Markey sent me on my friend Roger. I wanted a hotel that was near where he and his wife live but not too near. I found the perfect place. I asked Abbie, "OK, you want to fuck him some more on Thursday and Friday. What do you do? Call him? Text him?"
"I wish you'd stop saying stuff like that. I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't even want to see him again. If we have to do this, I'd call him with the story I'm supposed to tell you and see if he's available. If he is, I'll tell him I'll make reservations and I'll email him with the details. At least, that's what we did last time."
"OK, tell him it won't be at the resort or any of my hotels. Say you're going to tell me your father is paying the software guy for everything and the software guy is making all the arrangements. You don't want me looking on H's internal website to find out you paid for the room. So another hotel chain. If he asks, tell Roger you have your own credit card so I won't see the credit card charges. Tell him you'll probably arrive in Miami around 1 or 2pm Thursday."
"What are you planning to do?"
"I told you not to ask questions. What is it about that you don't understand? Are you in any shape to talk and not sound upset or that you've been crying? You should sound upbeat and happy about getting laid again."
Abbie washed and returned to the living room. "Are you ready?" She nodded and tried to smile, getting in character. I said, "OK, listen. You have to be convincing. To do that, to make sure he doesn't think this is a setup, I want you to talk to him like you normally do, not like your husband is sitting here listening. Just pretend I'm not here. You'll have to say things you don't want me to hear. That's OK. You're not going to hurt my feelings. I want you to act like the lover he expects to hear. Otherwise, he'll know something's wrong and he'll bail. He'll either tell you he's busy this week or, more likely, not show up to meet you in Miami."
