Note. I have carried forward from previous chapter
"It's not a case of me not being able to hack the house husband role, you know that's no longer a problem. What is the problem is your attitude to me. It seems that you no longer respect my opinion, and take every opportunity to criticise and mock me! I have been taking this shit from you since March and I am not prepared to continue as we are right now. You have shown me little or no respect and I have to ask you this right now. Do you still love me?"
She looked surprised at my question and said. "Don't be stupid! Of course I love you, it's just that living with you lately has been suffocating me! You challenge every decision I make, you do not consult me about kids any more, you make all the decisions about what they wear, what we do as a family at weekends. I am superfluous and it annoys the hell out of me. "
I was about to respond to the last when she totally floored me by saying.
"I have decided we need to spend some time apart! We are too close to things here to see the bigger picture and I intend to take the kids on holiday alone. You will remain here and perhaps the separation will give you time to reflect on our marriage. Over the last few months, you have threatened me with divorce, slept in the spare room when we have the slightest argument and have generally been a boor! I want to take the time to re-establish my bond with my children and you being around will only be a hindrance."
This really did shock me! I pondered over her words and looked at her still deciding what to say.
Finally, I said. "Are you serious? You really intend to do this, you will leave me behind while you swan off on holiday with the kids?"
She stood there looking at me with the contempt etched in her face. Her eyes were bright and shining and she showed no sign of affection. It was as if she was waiting for me to forbid her or something. When I just said. "Very well, if that's what you want but it's not too late to change your mind."
She simply nodded and said. "How many times do I have to say it! You are not welcome! The kids and I leave as scheduled tomorrow morning."
She went upstairs and could hear her lifting the cases I had packed in readiness for our holiday and when I went in it was to see her removing all my neatly folded clothes from the cases and throwing then on the floor.
She looked at me and said. "You might as well take them and while you are at it, move all the rest of your stuff into the spare room for that's where you will be sleeping until I make other arrangements about the children's care."
"Hold on there!" I said with more anger in my voice than I intended. "What do you mean other arrangements, I'm their father and I have been their carer since all this began six months ago. I intend to continue to look after them and will be seeking custody of them when we divorce! Because, make no mistake about it, that's where this is leading to. I have had counsel that I will more than likely be awarded custody should we divorce and will in all probability be awarded the family home in the settlement! You will even be required to pay me alimony! So think carefully before you take this next step, once you leave tomorrow there will be no going back!"
I was bluffing, I had not sought any counsel about our marital situation, but she was not to know that. I thought that the threat of losing her kids would at the very least cause her to pause and reconsider.
But no, she looked at me, the anger was etched in her face and she said.
"I also have been advised that I have good grounds for getting you declared unfit to care for my children! I'm sorry that you have taken us down the divorce route so precipitously. I had wanted a trial separation to see if there was anything between us worth saving. We may still have been able to make our marriage work, but your unreasonable behaviour clearly makes that a waste of time!"
This last statement was like a cold shower drenching me. My anger evaporated and I admit she had me worried. This argument was getting out of hand and I forced my self to try and placate her. I needed time to consider what grounds she could possibly have to get me declared unfit to care for our children and so sought to defuse the situation by saying.
"I suggest we both calm down and take tonight to think about what we have just said. I may have been hasty in what I just said. You must know that I still love you and don't really want us to separate. I'm sure when we have both had a chance to reflect on what's just been said, we will regret them."
For her part, she also must have been having second thoughts and perhaps time to think as she replied in a softer voice.
"I don't need time to think it over. I don't want a divorce either and have also said some things that I am deeply sorry for. Please forgive me and forget what I said about you being an unfit father. I have no grounds for saying that, you just made so mad when you started talking about divorce. I still intend to go on holiday without you. I think we both need to have some time apart and reflect on our marriage."