"I don't know if you should be getting so invested in Nick," I said passively. "He's kind of flighty.
"He seems sweet. Plus, I can handle myself." Tanya's eyes narrowed. "Does this have to do with him being your ex?" she taunted.
"Not in the slightest, I dodged a bullet with that one."
"You don't know him anymore, he's changed."
"Tanya, you have known him less than a week, but I hope you're right."
I did not have the patients to point out how naïve Tanya sounded. Nick was going to eat her alive, but there was no point in trying to tell her, she would not listen anyway. It was only a matter of time before Nick's true self came slithering out.
I had watched Nick everyday, trying to find anything that would validate my suspicions, but I couldn't. Not one thing that triggered my instincts. Is It possible that 10 years really had made a difference? Whether it had or not, one thing was for certain, watching Nick was bringing back feelings I had buried long ago.
"I don't like him being here." I informed mark. "I feel like he's taunting me."
"Has he said anything else to you?"
"No, but I catch him watching me, and he still calls me that stupid pet name." Mark dismissed my allegations, and continued eating his lunch.
"So you're not worried?"
"About what? Him stealing you away? Its not likely." I blushed at the realization of how conceited I sounded.
"It's painful, every time I see him, I think about all those times I didn't matter," I confessed, eyes filling with the warm heat that preceded tears.
" Did you ever think that you did matter?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I can't possibly imagine anyone who has you, thinking you're second best. Maybe he was dealing with something he wasn't ready to share with you yet."
Mark smiled, and left me to contemplate his advice. Could Nick be a different person after all? I could not fathom anything he could say that I wouldn't of understood. I accepted the drugs, and the minor incestuous infidelity. What could possibly be worse than finding out your boyfriend fucked his aunt? Aunt by marriage, but still!
"Can we talk?" I asked, peeking my head into Nick's office.
"Sure, shut the door behind you." I shut the door, and took a deep breath before turning around.
"What's on your mind, Darlin'?"
"Why are you here, Nicolas?" the question bounced off my tongue before I had time to stop it. Nick stared at me, letting his shocked face melt into a soft smile.
"I've been waiting for this conversation, but it's not time to have it yet. Just know, I am here for you, but not how you're thinking. We'll talk tomorrow. After a couple of drinks."
"Nicolas, I NEED TO..." I began to demand, but I was cut off.
"Darlin', please. Tomorrow."
Nick grabbed my hands, and squeezed them. His eyes begging me to understand. My heart suddenly began to race as I stared down at our embrace. The memories came rushing back like a wave of love and pain. I took in a deep breath as I realized he still wore my favorite cologne. How had I not noticed it before? I smelled that scent for years after it was all over. His eyes still had that flicker of defiance that pulled me in as a kid. The same flicker that led to all my forgiveness.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me."
"I know," he whispered.
Nick released my hands, and for a moment, I wished he hadn't. My hesitation to leave did not go unnoticed. Nick smirked as he watched me hastily stand up, and stumble over my chair.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I said, awkwardly shuffling out the door.
The drive home was mostly quiet as I thought about what Nick could possibly have to tell me, and how I would react to it. Dozens of different confessions had carefully scripted responses by the time I got home. I was going to be ready for anything. Even if it meant letting Nick down gently.
"Nick and Mark seem to have taken a liking to each other. What about this one?" Tanya asked, holding up a dark green dress.
"Nick's favorite color is blue, wear blue. What do you mean they've taken a liking to each other?" I pressed, dismissing another ugly dress.
"Well, they are always texting each other. Nick says they are planning tonight, but I always see him laughing at his screen." I sat up on Tanya's bed, paying more attention to her chatter. "I think we might have a bro-mance on our hands. This one?"
"No, it's slutty. Now what were you saying about texting? How much do they text?"
"Like all day. It's actually quite aggravating."
"What do they talk about?"
"How would I know that? Probably guy stuff, like muffler belts or something."
"Tanya, there is no such thing as muffler belts," I said rolling my eyes as she put on another dress.
"Whatever, who cares what they talk about. I'm wearing this one she declared into the mirror.
"You look beautiful," I said, admiring her curves in the cobalt blue dress, and her dark curls flowing over her shoulders. Tanya smiled as she watched me check her out.
"You need to get dressed, the boys will be here soon. Unless..." Tanya crawled on to the bed, and pushed me down onto my back.
"For old times sake?" she asked, straddling my waist.
"I don't think that's a good idea. Not today." I said, placing my hands on her hips, and helping her off of me. "You're right anyway, I need to get dressed. Can I borrow that green dress you had on earlier?"
"I guess," Tanya pouted. "Wear the black wedges with it. You will look goofy in your flats."
The doorbell rang as we were doing our final touches to our make-up.
"Yay, they're here," she sang, bouncing to the door. "Hiya, boys."
"Wow, you look beautiful," Nick said, kissing Tanya's cheek.
"Stunning," Mark concurred, hugging her hello.
