Once again, all errors our mine. I read the comments, and I do take them to heart. Sometimes, however, I think the person making the comment has missed the point of the story or has gotten too bogged down in little details. I write stories that I would like to read, and I realize that they won't appeal to everyone. Nevertheless, I will continue to try and write a story that everyone will like. Yes, I know it is a fool's errand.
Throughout most of my career, I never wanted to be a celebrity. That's why I always let my wife, Tanya, be the face of our group. I never considered myself an entertainer either. To me, I was just a guitar player who also liked to sing. If people wanted to listen to me, that was great, but I was just as happy playing and singing by myself. But then my wife tried to destroy me personally, professionally, and financially.
Now I was engaged in an all-out struggle to seek revenge. Tanya had betrayed me, humiliated me, and attempted to destroy my career. If that wasn't bad enough, she also had attempted to cripple me financially and had stolen all of the original copies of songs that I had written. Okay, a lot of the songs weren't all that great, but they were mine. And some of those songs had great sentimental value to me. Plus, I felt certain that the two newest songs I'd written were very good.
I have learned over the years that if you work at something long enough, you usually get better. And that was what had happened with my songwriting. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, the songs I was writing now were some of the best of my career, and they would get even better.
The flight from New York to Atlanta was a little less than two hours. Still, I was going crazy just sitting there with my mind going over the hundreds of things I had to get done to begin my quest for revenge. To quiet my anxiety, I started writing a new song. By the time we reached Atlanta, I had a rough draft for two new ones --
Cheating was always in your heart
and
Desperate nights but bright tomorrows.
Once back in Atlanta, I decided that it would be best to work away from the city. I arranged for Dawn, Allison, and Claire to stay with my parents in Tifton. I originally thought about renting an apartment large enough for the four of us. But I thought that would appear too creepy. So, I rented a small apartment for myself not too far from my parent's house.
My mom was thrilled with the idea; my dad not so much. Still, he didn't put much of fuss at all. My mom and Claire became instant friends, and they both loved taking care of Allison. However, as much attention as the two older women showered on Allison, she took a real shine to my dad. Even though he wouldn't admit it, they had bonded. More times than not, when I would go to visit, Dad would be playing some game with Allison or reading her a book, or she would just be sitting in his lap while he was telling her stories.
Two days after I got Dawn and her family settled, I brought her in a makeshift studio I had thrown together in a rented office. I brought in an instrument teacher to help Dawn learn to play the guitar better. I also brought in a voice coach to help develop her singing style. There were lawyers to meet with, costumes decided on, even a dramatic coach to help Dawn with her stage presence. I was draining my savings, but I didn't care. I drove everyone hard, including myself. But as hard we all worked, no one worked harder than Dawn. She would practice her guitar until her fingers would bleed. Then Dawn would put band-aids on and continue practicing. After a couple of months, she became a fairly good player. Dawn would never be a great guitarist, but she was still pretty good.
Finally, when I thought we had progressed significantly, I booked time in an Atlanta studio. I specifically avoided the studio that Tanya and I had used. I could have gone back to that studio as the restraining order had been lifted. But to me, the people in that studio knew that Tanya was cheating and never said a word. They were dead to me.
While I was working with Dawn to fine-tune our act, the divorce was proceeding. The squabble over the business was bogged down with the lawyers and accountants. I didn't pay any attention to either.
Even though I wouldn't use the old studio, I called the owner and told him why I wasn't returning. I did that because I wanted Tanya to know how much I knew about her betrayal and that there would be consequences. However, when we arrived for our first recording session at the new studio, I thought all my plans would end before they even began. Dawn was absolutely terrified when I put her in front of a microphone for the first time. She would freeze up every time we'd try to record something. Fortunately, my mom, Claire, and Allison had come with us.
After two hours of accomplishing nothing, I was becoming totally frustrated. I didn't know what to do. Finally, I called a halt and told everyone to take an early lunch. I was desperate to get something recorded because the studio was costing a lot of money with the backup musicians and everything. So far, we had nothing. While the musicians were getting ready to put away their instruments, Allison wandered in. She leaned her head against her mother's shoulder.
"Aren't you going to sing, mommy," she asked with her eyes filled with worry.
Dawn looked down at her daughter's questioning eyes. She smiled and nodded. "I'm going to sing right now, baby."
With that, Dawn stood up and walked up to the microphone. I signaled to the musicians to pick up their instruments. Then I motioned to the control personnel to get ready. Dawn looked over at me, smiled, and nodded. The recording session then began in earnest. It took several hours, but we managed to record the two songs I had written on the flight back. Alex released them immediately with as much fanfare as he could rally. The songs did reasonably well with
Desperate nights but bright tomorrows
making it to number twelve.
Cheating was always in your heart,
however, only made it to number nineteen. These two new songs were just to let the public know that my new act was for real. Alex was exceedingly pleased because the new songs accomplished that and more.
Tanya, on the other hand, had launched her solo career with a great flourish. There were stories all over the entertainment media, and Tanya made several television appearances. She was smart enough not to push the abuse accusations, saying only that people had different opinions about what constituted abuse. However, the thing that still burned at my soul was that Tanya would use the songs she had stolen from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. But the thought that she had probably destroyed my original copies made me even angrier. I had written one of those songs for my grandfather. It wasn't very good, but my granddaddy had tears in his eyes the first time I played it for him.
Most people who knew Tanya well understood that her one consuming goal in life was to become a superstar. And I will give Tanya credit; she was working her ass off to accomplish her dream. However, what Tanya and Todd didn't realize was that while I was building up my new career, I was doing everything I could to torpedo hers. Mostly, I had people putting out true and fictitious rumors about Tanya, anything to tarnish her image. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that my plans would fail miserably. So, I drove everyone even harder.
Dawn was just raw talent, but I saw great potential. Alex had agreed wholeheartedly after viewing the news report of us in Central Park on Youtube. I felt blessed that he had decided to come out of retirement to manage Dawn and me.
The legal battles had turned into a mess. I only paid attention to what was happening when the lawyers insisted. Aside from the restraining order being lifted and the court granting me limited access to the revenues from Tanya's and my old company, I stopped caring. I knew that eventually; the divorce would be granted and the business problems sorted out. But right then, all I was interested in was revenge. The rumors I had put out were having a minor impact on Tanya's career. But in truth, the limitations of Tanya's ability were what was really holding her back. Still, for me, I had to be a much bigger success than her because only then would I feel like I had truly gotten my revenge. Only then would Tanya realize that I hadn't been holding her back; she had been holding me back. To Tanya, I knew that would be a crushing blow.
Like I mentioned, I had never considered myself a celebrity. At our best, I thought Tanya and I were middling B-level singers. We opened for the superstars, played in medium venues with other groups, and headlined in smaller places. But throughout our career together, Tanya was the one our fans wanted to see, not me. But even so, Dawn appeared to be totally intimidated by me. It made it hard to offer any corrections to what she was doing. Finally, I semi-lost it one morning in the studio.
After telling Dawn that she was too stiff and to let her body sway with the music, tears began to flow down her cheeks.
