The Gift Exchange

Wednesday - Three days before April 1

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"Happy April Fool's Day, baby!"

"Happy April Fool's to you too, my big stud."

Brett and I are both in our early thirties. He's exactly two days older than me, with his birthday on March 31

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, and mine on April 2

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. Because of that, we've always made a really big deal out of April Fools. Every April 1st, we celebrate the holiday and both our birthdays. We both spend a lot of time and energy trying to surprise and one-up each other. By mutual agreement, we had decided this year's gifts would be extra special and we'd start the festivities a few days early.

Brett leans over, gives me a big kiss and hands me a familiar blue jewelry box, looking suspiciously like something you may find at Tiffanys.

"It this little thing all for me?" I ask, looking up at him with the biggest dopey grin I can muster. "I can't even imagine what could be possibly be inside."

"Only one way to find out." He gets down on one knee, takes a dramatic breath, bows his head as if he's being knighted, then opens the box presenting with me with my gift. A huge candy Ring Pop, complete with a cheap blue plastic band a bright red cherry-flavored ruby.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim gushingly. I put the ring on my left hand and fan myself with my right, afraid I may faint from the sheer amazingness of the gift. "It's everything a girl could ever want. You really do know how to get me all hot and bothered."

"Anything you for my sweet blossom. So now are you going to tell me what's in that package you hid under the pillow on the couch?"

I give Brett a fake pouty lip face and hand him his gift. It's the size of a DVD case wrapped in paper that says "Congratulations on your Quinceanera!" He flips the package over and over, shakes it a few times, then tries to take a playful bite out of the paper. "Thanks Jenny! Can I assume this is the new sports car I've been wanting?"

"You can assume whatever you want. But this may be even better than a silly car."

Brett rips off the paper, opens the DVD case and finds a single disc, with the word ROADHOUSE written with a sharpy in all capital letters. Brett looks for a while then says "Wow. Definitely one of my favorite movies. But you know that I already own this DVD, right? Plus, I watch it on cable at least one a week?"

I don't say a word, but just look up at Brett with a sneaky smile on face.

"But this isn't Roadhouse, is it?" He asks. I slowly shake my head back and forth. "Maybe I should put this in the DVD player?" This time I nod slowly up and down.

Brett loads the disc and after a few seconds, a single PowerPoint slide displays on the screen. Centered among pictures of handcuffs, hearts, and baby Cupids are the lines, "Happy April Fool's Day 2023. Your real gift arrives Saturday night. I promise it'll be something you never forget. Love, Jenny."

Brett stares at the message for a while, then turns off the TV. When he looks at me, he's not smiling at all. "How did you know?" He asks seriously. "About Saturday night?"

Now it's my turn to be confused. "Saturday night. It's part of your gift. What's wrong and why are you acting like this?" I panicked for a moment, completely certain that there was absolutely no way he could have known about the actual gift.

"You really don't know about my Saturday plans?" He asks.

"I know what I have planned for us this weekend. But I have no clue what you're talking about. And you're starting to scare me." For a second, I'm afraid he's discovered my plans and that I've made the biggest mistake of our marriage.

Brett stares at me for a solid minute, trying to figure out his next move. He finally sighs and says, "Grab that Tiffany's box. There's a note in the bottom. Read it out loud."

I grab the box from the table, pry open the cardboard bottom and see a note in Brett's handwriting. It reads, "April Fool's Day is for fun and games. But this Saturday night may change your life forever. I promise, love Brett."

We look at each other for a long time, neither of us saying a word. What have we gotten ourselves into?

We've been married for 3 years, together for 5. No kids yet as we wanted to enjoy each other's company for as long as we could before starting a family. We envisioned a life of sex and travel and romance and more sex. Unfortunately, life often has a way of interrupting the best laid plans. Two busy jobs, a mortgage, and the daily grind of building a life together brought us closer together as a couple but left our sex life severely lacking in the spice department.

Our sexual encounters tended to be satisfying, but that was just about it. We were both fairly vanilla in the bedroom and neither of us had had a chance to get "wild" before we met each other. We had tried roleplaying and sharing fantasies with each other and while they were fun in the moment, neither of us thought the sexy talk would actually translate into anything in real life. I was hoping that my April Fool's Day plan would change all of that.

Thursday - Two days before April 1

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Things have been a bit awkward between Brett and I since the gift exchange. We're both dying to probe for more information, but don't want to ruin the spirit of the holiday by ruining any part of the surprise.

Brett finally breaks the ice at dinner by asking "You as seem a bit distracted since yesterday. Does this have anything to do with Saturday night?"

Secretly, I'm thrilled he asked, since that's been the only thing on my mind since yesterday. "I am and it does." I reply. "Do you think we could, er, talk about it? You know, without actually talking about it?"

I can see the relief on Brett's face. He's clearly been going through the same things as me. "Maybe we can play a guessing game, without giving anything away? Would that be cheating?"

"Not at all," I answer much too quickly. I know he can see how nervous I am, but I'm still trying to play it cool. "You go first."

"OK. Let's start with your gift." Brett thinks for a bit. "Person, place or thing?"

"Person. And a place, I guess."

"Is the place here?" He asks.

"Yes." I pause, considering how much I want to divulge. "Your gift involves a person, not me, that will be coming over Saturday night."

Brett seems surprised at this. "Well, then. My gift to you also involves a person, also not me, also coming over here Saturday evening."

"My turn, then." I stroke my imaginary beard, thinking of good questions. "You hired a clown to juggle flaming chainsaws?"

"Nope."

"You found everyone in my 9

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grade drama class and invited them over to reenact 'Grease' in our living room?"

Brett smiles at this. We're both relaxing a bit and enjoying the banter. "Nope, but I like the way you're thinking."

"You called Channing Tatum and he's going to dance for me while I run my hands all over his sweaty abs?"

"He was busy Saturday night, but you're getting really close."

There was something about the way Brett said this last line that made me pause. He was no longer smiling and seemed unsure about what to do next. "Hypothetically," I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Does your gift involve sex of some kind?"

Brett just nodded.

"With someone other than you. And me?"

"Hypothetically? That's one of the things that might possibly, in some realm, could actually happen Saturday night. Would that bother if it were true?" Brett asked.

"Not at all," I said, thinking about my gift to him. "Would it be a problem if my present involved something similar?"

Brett thought about it for a few moments. "No, it wouldn't. But I think we've taken this as far as we should for tonight. Let's go to bed."

Friday - One day before April 1

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"Are you OK?" Brett asks me after work during dinner.

"Yes? No? I'm not really sure." I answer. "I'm nervous and excited and scared at all the same time. Does that make sense?"

"Totally. I'm feeling exactly the same. I can't wait for tomorrow night but part of me is afraid of what this will mean for our relationship."

"What if we set some ground rules in advance?" I suggest. "I'll take the main bedroom with my 'gift' and you take the spare room. They're far enough apart so we won't know what's going on."

Brett adds "Also, we both agree to NEVER talk about what happens in there. Tomorrow night we do whatever our gifts ask of us. Saying NO will not be an option. It's a one-night anything goes, but we promise not to let it get between us."

"Perfect!" I'm feeling much calmer suddenly. "Now I'm even more excited for tomorrow. I love you, Brett."

"Love you back, Jenny."

Saturday Night - April Fool's Day

Brett and I try to have a normal day, but we're both failing miserably. We take a walk, have lunch, watch old movies, and make small talk for as long as possible. It's clear we're both just counting the hours until our gifts arrive.

When the time gets close, I tell Brett he should shower and get ready first. When he's in the bathroom, I quietly slip outside and hide an envelope under the welcome mat. After Brett is done, he goes into the spare bedroom and closes the door. I shower and get myself ready, close the door and wait as patiently as possible.

At exactly 8 PM, a very tall and muscular guy with a striking resemblance to Channing Tatum approaches the front door. His instructions from the escort agency are to look for an envelope behind the planter next to the front door. As he finds the location and removes the envelope with the words "Jenny's Gift" on it, he hears someone coming up behind him.

"Hey, Brad! What are you doing here?" The question comes from an incredibly sexy blonde woman. She's wearing a short skirt and a leather jacket, under which can be seen a sheer white half-shirt, barely covering her large and fake breasts. Apparently, her bra got lost between the car and the door.

"Hiya, Janet." Brad replies affably. "This is my assignment for the night. I'm Jenny's gift, see." He shows her the envelope he just retrieved.

"Well, this is getting very interesting indeed." Jenny replies. "The agency sent me here as well. Told me I'd learn everything I need to know from my letter." She approaches the doormat, lifts it up and pulls up the envelope with the words "Brett's Present."

"This is turning into quite the adventure. Should we open our letters?" Brett asks. "You go first."

Janet opens her envelope. Inside is a key to the front door and a handwritten letter. She reads it out loud. "Greeting and thanks for coming. Tonight, you are to be my husband's April Fool's Gift. He has no idea what's coming and will do whatever you tell him. Please make it a night that will change his life forever. Brett will be waiting for you in the room to the left."

Brett opens his envelope and starts to read. "Hello there. My wife is in the bedroom to the right and I want her to have an evening she'll never forget. Anything goes, nothing is off limits." He holds up a second key to the front door.

Brad and Janet smile at each other. It's not the weirdest thing they've been asked to do as escorts, but neither has ever heard of two clients hiring two people to spend the evening with their spouses at the same time in the same house.

"Guess we've got our marching orders. You ready?" Janet asks, about to open the front door.

"Hang on one second. You and I are April Fool's day presents, right? You up for a little foolery?" Brett gives Janet his most mischievous grin.

"Honestly, Brett. Have you ever known me to back down from a challenge? What did you have in mind?"

"Well....hubby is the to left and has no idea what's coming, right?" Janet nods. "And his dear wife is all alone on the right, also waiting for her mystery gift, correct?" Another nod. "Then here's what we're going to do. Give me your envelope."

Janet breaks into laughter as she realizes what's about to happen. She hands over her envelope and takes the one Brett offers to her. "I think I'm about to give Jenny a night she'll never forget."

"I'm definitely going to do things to Brett he'll never forget. Let's go." Brett unlocks the front door and opens it for Janet. "After you. And Happy April Fool's Day."

"Happy April Fool's Day, Brad." They close the door behind them and head off to the bedrooms in opposite directions.

Sunday Morning - The next day

I've slept in until nearly noon. As I wake up, I smile thinking about the previous evening. It's only the smell of coffee that brings me out of my daydreaming and into the kitchen. Brett is there, drinking his cup at the dining room table. A second cup is waiting for me in the seat across from him. I sit down, take a sip and look at my amazing husband. "Well?" I ask.

He stares at me for a long long time. Then he gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen on him. "Best April Fool's Day ever. So what are we going to do next year?"