The Fools Of April

The Fool of April

FAFO in spades

Just a quick April Fool's Day entry. The contests are too hard to win in this category.

My wife has been showing me these Insta or TikTok videos of women texting their husbands, usually right after they leave the house for work, "Come on over, he's gone."

Some you can see are staged by a couple trying for their minute of fame, but others, unfortunately, are real, and they don't end well. I can't understand a woman who would intentionally do that, think it's funny (the women are actually laughing in the videos as they watch hubby come screaming back in his car), and then get pissed at the husband when he rolls right back in to angrily confront her. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes, I suppose, just like the dim light bulb in this story.

Relax; it's just a story, people.

[copyright 2025, all rights reserved, including section 107 of US and international copyright law. Converting this work to audio file is strictly prohibited]

Janet sat flabbergasted at her own kitchen table. Deep concern hadn't set in quite yet and she was still very hopeful since it had only been about twelve hours. Still, there was a nagging itch of finality lingering... somewhere within her, something she couldn't shake.

"I don't understand," she spoke up suddenly, speaking to her sister across the table. Sandra Brooks just glared at her. "We had this all worked out! You said you could handle him and..."

"No!" Sandra interrupted, hollering back at her sister, Janet Laughlin, married to Barry Laughlin, the subject of the current argument. "I said I

'thought'

I could but I also warned you against this stupid prank. Even if he

was

still here, do you really think Barry would be

pleased

to hear your good news?"

Sandra, Sandy as she was called by family, was one year and a few months older than Janet. She was married to a man known well by both sisters - Ethan Brooks. Janet and Ethan had just spent the night together as part of their elaborate April Fool's joke on Barry. They weren't technically 'together' together if you catch the drift. At least they'd never admit to it.

Both women remained silent, lost in their thoughts after Sandy's outburst, unsure of what to say or do.

"Well, I suppose we should start making phone calls," Janet said with a sigh. Both her prank and the supposed after-prank surprise had backfired spectacularly.

"How was he before you fell asleep, Sis?" Janet enquired for at least the fifth time. She couldn't believe her husband had taken clothes and things most important to him and just left in the middle of the night.

"I already told you," Sandy spat, tired of being interrogated again. "He was devastated. He actually cried while I tried to comfort him. I've never felt so horrible in my life. I almost told him about your stupid joke but he got so bad that I didn't think that was even wise right then. I told you, Barry said very little after he calmed down but he had this look about his face, you know, like when he gets serious, resolved about something."

"But he must have said something!" Janet's cry sounded pathetic.

"Like I said," Sandy answered, "he called you and Ethan a bunch of terrible names and then he turned his anger to me. I was in on it, after all. You two were doing it for me, he pointed out. I was just as guilty, if not more so. I sat there and took every bit of his hostility and for what? Because of your stupid idea? He's probably never going to treat me with respect ever again if he does come b..."

"Don't say it!" Janet screamed. "Don't you dare say it. He's coming back!"

After a few moments to collect themselves, Sandy said, "I need to call Ethan. You should call around and see where Barry stayed last night."

"No," something in the urgency of Janet's voice caught Sandy's attention. "I want to talk to Ethan, too. He might... he will know what to do. He always does."

Sandy put the call on speaker. Ethan started right away, without so much as a hello. "How's the little guy taking it?" Barry had always hated when Ethan called him that, but the women never seemed to notice or even care.

"Not good," Janet answered before Sandy could get the words out. "He's left with a bunch of his stuff and I don't know where."

The other end of the line was quiet for several long seconds. "What did you do?" Ethan asked his wife, although not calling her out by name.

"Listen here, asshole," Sandy growled angrily. "I'm about fed up with being the scapegoat in this tragic play. You went along with my sister, and now all the things I warned you both could go wrong have."

"Alright, alright," Ethan exclaimed. "Have you guys called around to find out where he went yet?"

"No," Janet said. "We're about to do that now. Can you two help me?"

"Fuck that," Sandy scowled at her sister. "I'm going home to my husband. You can fix your mess."

"Look on the bright side," Ethan chided. "If he doesn't come back, Janet can move into the spare room. We can help her with birthing classes and the new baby when he comes."

This further alarmed Sandy. Her husband was going straight to her kid sister moving in with them, and he had the audacity to suggest being a pseudo-father to the child.

>>>>

Barry sat on the balcony of his rented room, watching the people. He thought back to the beginning because it was easier than thinking about the end.

It was Ethan and Sandy who introduced him to Sandy's little sister, Janet. They had been thick as thieves in the six years, five of which he'd been married to Janet since he became involved with the three. That had always been a thing in the back of Barry's mind. Even though he was the fourth wheel, so to speak, he often felt like the third. Like there was something there between the three that he wasn't supposed to be privy to.

He knew, or at least thought he could ascertain, that Ethan and Janet had actually dated briefly before Ethan became serious with Sandy, but he had never verified it. Maybe it was all too close to home for him. Ethan looked like a Greek god compared to him, compared to most men. He had an air of confidence that Barry lacked, at least to the level of Ethan. He didn't want to know if his lovely bride had been with Ethan. Internally, he knew that. Fundamentally, he'd tell himself, what difference did it make? He had her now.

Sandy and Ethan married first, a year ahead of Janet and Barry. That took some of the unease off of Barry's mind. It meant he really was in love with Janet's big sister. Then, shortly after Barry and Janet tied the knot, a stricken Sandy announced she was barren. She would never be able to carry a child to term. After lots of sad months, things got better for the couple, while Janet and Barry chose to leave it all in the past, never discussing it further.

When it came to Janet's family, her parents, especially, were enamored with Ethan. He always seemed to jump in whenever a helping hand was needed, almost as if he was waiting for it. If Barry offered help, Ethan always blew him off, saying don't worry about it, I can easily handle... whatever situation arose. At some point, Barry stopped trying.

Sitting on the balcony of his cheap hotel, with a room-service breakfast and a carafe of coffee, Barry took a break from making his extensive list of things to do and reflected on three nights before, when his life seemed to implode before his very eyes.

He'd had a particularly busy and stressful week in his accounting job and looked forward to watching one of the last pre-season baseball games on ESPN. He'd snuggle with his wife after dinner, and if she didn't fall asleep in his arms, then maybe they would start the weekend off right in the bedroom.

He was surprised to see his sister-in-law's car in the driveway, and even more so to see Janet's not parked in her spot. Sandy met him at the door, gave him the customary hug and asked him into the kitchen. He expected Janet to be off somewhere picking up some take-out. His radar peaked when he saw Sandy had apparently prepared a nice meal.

"What's going on, Sandy?" he wearily asked. "Where's your sister?"

Sandy seemed wound up tight, eyes darting nervously. Something was wrong. "Here," she said, pulling out a chair. "Sit and eat first. "Would you like a drink, a beer, or some wine?"

Barry wanted to get an immediate answer but was far too exhausted to push the issue. Wherever Janet was could wait a few minutes. Barry was famished. He pointed to the fridge and Sandy, knowing him well, went to grab an IPA.

She dished up the casserole and sliced the baguette. They ate in silence at first, Sandy seemingly wondering how to begin. Barry kept watching her, then he couldn't take it anymore.

"All right, Sandy." He barked. "Out with it."

"Okay," she set her fork on the table. "You know that Ethan and I can't have children, right?" Of course, he knew and just waved for her to continue. "And you know the problem lies with me. Well, Janet and I have been talking about it extensively for several months now, looking for a solution." Sandy purposefully paused.

"What kind of solution, Sandy?" Barry was moving from frustrated to completely furious.

"She's gonna give me a child!" Sandy exuberantly explained. "Such a selfless act. She's going to give me a baby."

Barry felt sick. He knew what Sandy was inferring, but it didn't matter if he knew; he had to hear the words.

"How is she going to do that?" He almost threw up as soon as the words left his lips.

"Janet is spending the weekend with Ethan," she told Barry as if it were only natural. "She's at her most fertile these next few days."

Barry threw his plate across the kitchen, barely missing the window. The plate shattered and the sauce went everywhere. Sandy recoiled at the outburst. By the time she recovered, never having seen Barry lose his temper before, he was pacing around the kitchen and then he walked out of the room.

Sandy thought she knew him well after all these years but this outburst told her maybe she didn't. She'd known Barry before her sister did. Now, she wasn't so sure. Sandy considered letting him cool down for a few minutes. However, her nurturing personality forced her out of her chair with no concrete plan.

"Barry, please!" she pleaded, finding him in the living room, still pacing. She grabbed his upper arms in an effort to wrap him in a hug.

Barry shrugged her off him. "Please, what?" he half-growled, half-groaned loudly. "You've got to be kidding me. You sit here and tell me my wife is fucking your husband for the entire weekend so she can what? Get pregnant with his bastard and give the kid to you! She's such a coward she never told me, never included me, never asked me about any of it. The three of you planned this. Fucking traitors!"

Sandy, for once, had no idea what to do or say. She'd expected Barry to be forlorn, sad, upset, something way south of where he was in that moment. He appeared ready to explode. Sandy considered coming clean right then but there was a lot at stake. She knew she only had to get him to calm down and eventually go to sleep. All would become clear in the morning.

"Please don't be so angry!" she tried to match his intensity but failed. "I can see why you might be hurt, but Janet is doing a brave, selfless thing. She even worried about how you'd react, which is why she insisted I be here for you."

"What?" he spat, "you think a trade would make it all better. I'm supposed to fuck you, and then everything is even, everything's okay? Well, fuck that. I'm not touching your skank ass."

Sandy was surprised that that was what he expected. Somehow, she wasn't getting how completely fried his brain was just then. She made another mistake.

"No. NO!" she shouted. "That wasn't the plan. How could you think that? Janet is making the ultimate sacrifice, and she's doing it for Ethan and me. We never discussed any kind of... swap. I'm here to keep you company, to console you. To help you forget any hurt feelings or at least minimize them. To take your mind off things until she returns."

"Are you all fucking crazy?" Barry was getting worse, and Sandy was starting to feel real fear. "You're going to console me? That's even worse! And what happens when she comes home pregnant with that prick's kid? I'm supposed to congratulate her? How could any of you think I'd tolerate this?"

Then, a new, determined look crossed Barry's face as if he thought of something.

"Where are they, Sandy?" he asked urgently. "Are they at your house?"

"I... I can't... say." She meant she wouldn't.

Barry cut her off, grabbing her arms and almost shaking her. "Tell me!" he yelled. "Maybe it's not too late. Maybe I can stop this madness."

"They... They wouldn't tell me," she said quietly. "So I wouldn't have to lie. She... she knew you might... would ask."

Barry roughly pushed her away, pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial for his wife. Her phone buzzed on the counter, where Janet had left it sitting on the charger.

Barry turned toward Sandy with murder in his eyes. "You've ruined my marriage, you fucking maniac!" Barry's expression was that of a wild man. "What am I supposed to say when she starts showing? I'm supposed to tell everyone I'm proud of her. What did your parents have to say about this?"

That shocked Sandy. Neither she nor Janet had considered that in their careful planning. "They don't know!" Sandy cried out. "They shouldn't know. Not until way later."

"Bullshit," Barry replied in a determined voice. He started swiping on his phone again. Sandy was pleading with him not to. He pushed a button even as Sandy tried desperately to grab his phone away.

"Yes, hello, Marge?" Barry said into the phone. "did you know about this abomination with your daughters and Ethan?" Sandy was still trying to stop him from telling her parents, but Barry used his size and strength to get away from her.

"Janet is with Ethan right now," he continued. "They're trying to get her pregnant so she can give the baby to Sandy. Did you know about this?"

Sandy couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, but the volume was elevated. This entire thing was turning to shit in a hurry.

"Yeah, well, it is TRUE!" Barry screamed in response. "Here, you talk to her."

In disgust, he threw his phone at Sandy. She grabbed it and instinctively ran into the downstairs bathroom, locking the door. It took several minutes of trying to talk over her distraught mother to even get a word in.

"It's a joke, Mother," she rasp-whispered. "Just an April Fool's joke!"

Sandy could hear her father, Bill, in the background in an elevated tone. "Well, you better go tell Barry. Your stupid fucking joke backfired."

Marge piled on, pleading for her daughter to reveal the prank. Sandy didn't know what to do, so she disconnected the call. She went out of the bathroom and realized Barry was nowhere to be found. After searching downstairs, she did find him in his bedroom, throwing clothes into a suitcase.

"Barry, what are you doing?" It was a dumb question. "Don't leave. Please! This is your home!"

"I'm not staying here," Barry told her, "while she's getting her pussy pumped full of some other man's cum. Especially, your fucking husband."

"Listen, let me tell you something that might help." Sandy had no idea if it would help or not, but she had to do something. She came over to the bed, closed the suitcase, and sat on top of it.

"Before I met Ethan," she began, "He already knew Janet. She met him first. They dated, Barry. They were intimate before I ever had my first date with Ethan. In many ways, I stole him from her. We roomed at college, as you know. Ethan and I were juniors, and Janet was a freshman. She and I were at a hamburger joint on campus, and she was telling me about her time with Ethan when he walked up, and Janet introduced us. The rest you've already heard."

Yes, Barry had heard the story, minus his wife sleeping with Ethan. That fact only infuriated him more. The way he saw it, she was getting something she wanted while getting over on her sister at the same time.

Ten minutes later, Barry was walking out his front door with Sandy, who'd had to pick herself up off the bedroom floor after Barry threw her off the suitcase, begging him not to go.

A loud noise in the room below him shook Barry out of his sad memory. From his room there in San Diego, Barry returned to considering his options. He'd decided after pulling a bunch of money from their joint bank account to get as far away from their suburban Boston home as he could. San Diego sounded like a good option. His Grandmother had gifted him the house when she passed, as well as a decent trust fund. He hadn't touched that money except for a nice honeymoon in Belize.

Looking out at the sight before him, he smiled for the first time in three days. There were people jogging and skateboarding on the boardwalk and, further beyond, volleyball players on the beach and surfers in the ocean. He knew if he was going to shake this treachery and redeem himself, he was in the right place.

>>>>

Sandy arrived home in a fury. True, she had been part and privy to this abomination, but she was pissed all the same. Her husband and sister had abandoned her as she had tried holding things together with Barry and her folks.

"Why didn't you answer your phone, you bastard?" were her first words upon entering their modest home.

"We were bingeing Bad Sisters," Ethan said as though it answered her question. "We fell asleep on the couch, after too much wine."

Ethan walked smoothly over to his wife and gave her a conciliatory hug. He

was

smooth and always had been, especially with women.

"Has she found him yet?" Ethan wisely changed the subject.

"No," she responded, still upset. "My parents are so pissed at me, at us, for perpetuating this stupid prank. We are both going to have to suck up for a long time."

"Not me," he shocked Sandy with his quick, uncaring response. "I didn't have anything to do with it - not the planning, anyway. I just went along with it."

Sandy looked at her husband as if for the first time. She promptly stormed off into her bedroom and closed the door.

>>>>

Janet was daydreaming, as she often did these days. It was a very bad idea to do that while driving, but she had a lot on her mind. It was June 29

th

, exactly three months since her husband, Barry, had deserted her. Whether it was his ego or pride, he'd run away like a little baby.

Like a baby.

Janet instinctively touched her growing tummy. It brought on a new round of thoughts.

The pregnancy hadn't surprised her. She'd stopped taking her birth control pills the week between Christmas and New Year's. By March 15, she had missed her second period, and the test strip confirmed what she already felt within herself.

It was Ethan who first proposed the prank on Barry. Initially, he wanted Janet to tell Barry that she had made a drunken mistake at the family New Year's Eve party and had not only let Ethan have sex with her in one of the upstairs bedrooms but that he hadn't worn a condom. She knew exactly why Ethan would find that type of prank a worthwhile endeavor. He'd always been jealous that Janet had fallen for Barry, even though it had been him and Sandy who provided the introductions. Over the years, Ethan had grown less and less fond of Barry.

But Janet had her own plans and paybacks to execute. Knowing her sister's reproductive dilemma, Janet came up with the plan to embarrass her husband by having Sandy divulge a weekend away to get impregnated by Ethan for Sandy's sake. She would spend the night with Ethan while Sandy comforted her husband.

Truth be told, Janet didn't really care if Sandy and Barry somehow ended up doing the nasty, in a drunken fit of comforting. She knew what she wanted to do with Ethan, even before her plan.