Emily entered through the sliding glass door, covered in sweat and flushed with exertion. "Good run?" Robert asked.
"Yeah, but it got hot early today. How are you this morning?" She kissed her husband and said good morning to Anthony, his assistant. Anthony was performing Robert's physical therapy routine, bending each leg at the knee and rotating the ankles.
"Still paralyzed," Robert answered. Emily flinched and glanced at Anthony who did not return eye contact. Anthony rarely made eye contact with Emily, but Robert swore he was the best assistant he'd had since the accident two years ago.
Prior to that fateful summer day, Robert and Emily enjoyed an adventurous lifestyle that included hiking, kayaking, climbing, and mountain biking together. It was a rock climbing trip without Emily that altered both their lives forever. Robert was climbing a route that far exceeded Emily's skill level, so he went with an experienced climbing partner who did the unthinkable; he allowed the rope to pass through the end of the belay device and dropped Robert forty feet to the ground. The outcome might have been better had he not landed on a pile of boulders, then rolled and dropped another fifteen feet. Some said he was lucky to survive, but with a C7 spinal injury that left him paralyzed below the shoulders, Robert didn't feel lucky.
The past two years had been extremely difficult for the couple, but now Emily felt that they had settled into a comfortable routine and Robert seemed less depressed. In fact, after going through several assistants, Robert seemed to flourish under the care of Anthony who had the right combination of professionalism and playfulness with the ability to remain unscathed by Robert's frequent mood swings.
Robert exuded an aura of masculinity, perhaps even more so since the accident. He had become more commanding in his voice, probably to make up for the inability to express himself physically. About six months after the accident, Robert asked Emily to masturbate for him. This was something that had not been part of their previous sex life and Emily felt self conscious about doing so. She also worried it might frustrate Robert more than please him, but he insisted that wasn't the case. He told her he didn't want to become asexual and it was important for him to enjoy intimate time with his wife. Their therapist confirmed that this was very healthy and explained to Emily that the main source of sex drive comes from the brain, not the genitals. Of course Emily would do anything for her husband, so she learned to overcome her shyness.
Prior to the accident, Robert had not been verbally expressive in the bedroom. Now he said things to her that sounded pornographic "Rub your tits, Em, yeah, like that. Spread your legs, let me see you. Now let me suck your fingers, I want to taste you." Emily was surprised to learn that this talk actually started to turn her on. She bought sexy lingerie and put on shows for him. Occasionally, Robert wanted to perform oral sex on Emily, but that could be physically challenging for him. Mostly she preferred to kiss him or have him suck her tits while she played with a vibrator. It wasn't a substitute for feeling Robert's arms around her, but she was glad her husband still found her incredibly sexy. As far as her own needs, Emily thought it was selfish to even let her mind go there. After all, she could orgasm and she could still walk.
Robert became more assertive in other matters as well. Because Emily was a writer who worked from home, initially she tried to spend all her time with Robert but he wouldn't have it. He told her to stay away and work in her office, just visit at lunch or after work. At first Emily's feelings were hurt. She wanted to do things for her husband, but he explained he wanted a wife, not a nursemaid. He still wanted them to be a couple that could talk about their day and they needed time apart in order to have anything to talk about. Emily could take care of Robert's physical requirements if needed, such as changing a catheter, dressing him, or performing physical therapy, but he wanted a male assistant to work full time. Fortunately, they had the means to hire someone.
Robert went through several assistants before finding Anthony. Emily stayed out of that matter. The first few seemed competent, but no one lasted more than a few weeks. Anthony had been with him six months and Robert seemed pleased with his performance. It didn't seem like they were buddies, there was a level of professionalism maintained as Anthony referred to Robert and Emily as "Mr. and Mrs. Flynn." Emily tried to correct him in the beginning, but Anthony didn't budge and insisted that was how Mr. Flynn wanted it.
Emily learned from talking to their therapist alone that Robert's more dominant personality evolved from him feeling powerless. If another person has to wash him, change his clothes, and handle his waste, it maintained a certain level of dignity to have their verbal exchanges invoke some form of hierarchy. Anthony had a military background and seemed very comfortable accepting someone else's authority.
"What are you up to today?" Emily asked, taking a swig from her water bottle and drying her face with a hand towel.
"Anthony is going to help me list a bunch of climbing equipment on eBay. Turns out some of my stuff is collectable and worth a chunk of change." Robert had voice command on his PC and could do many things by himself, but taking photos required Anthony's help. "What about you?"
"Two-thousand words by noon, I hope. I've got it mostly worked out in my head so I think I can do it."
"I want to read it at lunch, if you don't mind."
"You know I'd love that."
"I sent you an email."
"Great! I'll read it after my shower." Emily kissed her husband and made her exit.
* * * * *
Emily sat down at her desk and there was a hot cup of coffee waiting for her in a commuter mug. Having Anthony around definitely had perks. She opened her document and email, reading a message from her sister and one from her editor, before opening the one that said "To My Love" in the subject line.
My Dearest Emily,
I wanted to talk to you about something of paramount importance. I am choosing to put this in writing because I know you can be very reactionary. I want you to think about what I am asking, I want you to mull it over seriously and not go with your first impulse.
You are an intelligent, beautiful woman, and you are not paralyzed. The fact that you have to give up sex at such a young age weighs heavily on my mind every single day. Just because I am in this chair doesn't mean you should have to miss out on ever feeling a man's hands on your beautiful body. That thought kills me more than the fact that I can't have sex myself. I have to accept it, you don't.
I know you will say it is okay and that you don't need it, but that isn't true Em. It is unnatural for you to deny yourself the warmth of another body. I have given great thought to this matter. I want you to have sex with Anthony. I want to be there when you do.
We can go over the details later, after you accept my offer. Just as Anthony scratches my head and shaves my beard, I trust him to make love to my wife. And I trust you as well. Consider doing this for me Emily. It would make me very happy.
Love, Robert
Emily sat stunned for a moment, and then reread the email. She hit print and carried it into the living room where Robert and Anthony were taking photos of climbing gear.
"What the fuck is this!" She yelled, holding up the paper.
"Um, hey Anthony, go wash the van while I talk to Mrs. Flynn for a minute."
"Sure Mr. Flynn." Anthony was gone in two seconds.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Emily yelled. "You want me to fuck another man while you watch? This is some sick perverted shit, Robert." Emily ripped the paper in half, ripped it again and again and again. She threw the shredded paper on Robert's lap and before she walked out her expression changed from anger to hurt as she said, "How could you?"
Robert knew it was not the time to try to explain. He used his voice command to call Anthony back to get the shredded paper off his dignified lap.
Emily flung herself on the bed and sobbed. The thought that her husband would ask her to have sex with another man made her sick, then she remembered that Robert really was sick. He couldn't help it. Being in that chair had probably warped his mind. She decided to make an appointment to have Dr. Kimber come out. Maybe it was time to reconsider anti-depressants. Emily dried her eyes and decided she could now get back to work. She wouldn't let the letter impact her so much. She would not sit around and feel sorry for herself. Robert simply wasn't in his right mind. He needed her help. She wiped her tears and got back to work.
* * * * *
Emily came into the dining room at noon to find Robert sitting alone as usual, since Anthony was asked to take a break at lunch time. She greeted him cheerfully, putting the matter of the email behind her.
"Wow, Anthony made homemade hummus?" She asked.
