As is usual in my stories, the places and descriptions are real, but the characters are not; any resemblance to any person, living, dead or undead, is purely coincidental. The characters are all in their thirties, well over the age of consent.
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I was trying to figure out where I was, as my eyes would just barely open, as though they were stuck together with gunk. Then I heard a woman's voice, saying, "Mr Barnett, move slowly please. I'll help you."
Her image was fuzzy, but I could tell that she was wearing hospital scrubs and a mask. "You're just out of surgery, Mr Barnett, and in recovery. You've got stitches in your abdomen and a cast on your left arm. Try not to move, and I'll get you the help you need."
"What happened?" I managed to croak out.
"You were attacked outside of the Texas Roadhouse, remember?"
It started coming back to me. Some absolute clown yelled that he was going to kill me, and charged up swinging a tire iron. He'd slipped or something, so he didn't get in a clean blow, and I'd warded it off with my arm. He fell down, and I pounced on him, and I had the advantage, beating the shit out of him, before my buddies pulled me off of him. Still, I shouldn't hurt like this.
"Anyway, you've got a severely sprained wrist that the doctor immobilized, and I guess that you fell in the sharp end of a tire iron, the way I heard it, and stabbed yourself in the liver. You're in Lehigh Valley Hospital, where the ambulance brought you."
"What about the guy who attacked me?"
She laughed. "You don't know? I guess that you beat him pretty badly, despite your injuries. He's still in the OR, way I understand it, undergoing some pretty major facial reconstruction. We just now got a plastic surgeon in to fix him up, and there's a police guard on him.
It was a few more hours, and skipping ICU entirely, I was transferred up to the 6K Med-Surg wing. That was really nice, because the hospital had some really cute nurses working there. The first one was this cute blonde, her hair cut so that it stopped short of her shoulders, with bright blue eyes and a pretty smile. I guess that all of the nurses wear the same dark blue scrub uniform, with the hospital name embroidered on it, and Jane's - that's her name - fit her
very
well.
Of course, it was a bit difficult to appreciate it as much, as the pain meds were wearing off. She told me that I did have morphine ordered as needed for pain, but there was a delay as I asked if there was something I could get that wasn't a narcotic. I guess that I stunned her asking for something that wasn't a narc; apparently nobody does that!
They'd brought me what passed for dinner when the police arrived. It was a 'clear liquid' diet, I suppose because of my belly wound, meaning chicken broth, lemon flavored jello, and decaffeinated coffee. Why on earth anyone would pull the caffeine out of coffee was a mystery to me. It's like O'Douls, the alcohol-free beer; what's the point?
"Mr Barnett, I'm Sergeant O'Riley, and this is Officer Murphy. We'd like to ask you a few questions about the attack."
"I'll tell you what I remember; it all happened in a few seconds. I guess that it was caught by the security cameras outside the restaurant?"
"Yeah, it was. There's plenty of evidence that the other guy attacked you, and you were just defending yourself, though it looks like you defended yourself very ably." The officer was smiling at that. "The other guy is going to look like he went through a windshield, and rumor is he'll probably be wearing dentures from now on. So, what brought on the attack?"
"I don't know, Sergeant, I've never seen this guy before in my life."
"So, you don't know him?"
"No, sir, I don't, don't know what his beef was. Maybe he mistook me for someone else?"
"You don't know a man named Danny McMahon?"
Oh, shit, yeah I did. "Yeah, I guess I know who he is now, it's just that I'd never seen him before, is all."
"So, why did he attack you?"
Nothing to do but tell the truth. "I guess it was because I'd been fucking his wife."
To say that the police and prosecutors were less than sympathetic after I confessed to that was an understatement. I could have pressed charges, and gotten him locked up for a couple of years, maybe. After all, attacking me with a tire iron was assault with a deadly weapon. But the prosecutor, a pretty but very prim and proper brunette, with a nice if still slight figure under her pinstriped pantsuit, stressed that, once the judge heard why he assaulted me, he'd probably get a very light sentence, if a jury would convict him at all.