The Diary 04 - 750 Word Project

It had been a year since Gloria threw those printed screen shots in his face. About six months since the divorce had been finalized. Yet Phil still ached with his regrets. Still longed for what he had lost.

He was a Scotty's, his favorite Bar and Grill. He and his best friend Mike were chatting about nothing in particular when movement by the front door caught his eye. He looked over, and his breath stopped as he saw her.

Katie.

He hadn't seen her more than a handful of times since everything fell apart. He'd thought that he had it all. He'd loved Gloria and Brian, but he had also loved Katie. Now?

For a split second, he thought she might come over.

He thought maybe he'd get a moment, a look, something. Even just a half-hearted acknowledgment.

But when her gaze landed on him, it was flat and impersonal. It was like she was looking through him, like he didn't really exist to her anymore.

And then she turned around and walked right back out the door.

Not a word. Not a nod.

Nothing.

It didn't surprise him, but it still hit like a gut punch.

Phil exhaled sharply. He felt lost and alone.

Across from him, Mike let out a low whistle. "Damn. That was brutal."

Phil chuckled without humor. "Tell me about it."

Mike took a sip of his beer, looking towards the now empty doorway. "So, that's her, huh? The infamous Katie?"

"Yup."

Mike shook his head. "Well, she definitely hates you."

Phil glared at him. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"I mean, come on, what did you expect?" Mike leaned back against the booth. "She burned her life down for you, and where did it get her? Nowhere. Just like you."

Phil's jaw tightened. He closed his eyes as he took a long drink, feeling the burn of the whiskey.

"No one should ever have even known." he muttered. "It was Katie's fault for writing in her fucking diary. Everything would have been fine if..."

"That's bullshit, and you know it, Phil." Mike interrupted. "You cheated on your wife with her. She cheated on her husband with you. It went to shit, as anyone could have seen coming miles away. You know damn well you brought this shit on yourself."

Phil swallowed hard. He already knew the truth. Hell, he and Mike had talked it to death, and he was right, even if Phil didn't want to acknowledge it. He didn't want to hear it out loud, but he knew that it was the truth, despite all the lies he tried to tell himself.

He ran a hand over his face, sighing. "I was so happy, before I fucked it all up." he said finally. His voice quieter, rougher. "Gloria loved me, Brian adored me, I loved my family. And I threw it all away." Phil stared into his beer, wallowing in his pain. "What the Hell was I thinking?" he said, mostly to himself.

He thought back to what his life used to be before he blew it to hell.

Sharing his morning with Gloria was such a perfect way to start each day. The sound of Brian playing, his tiny laughter filling his heart with joy. Their family movie nights, where Brian would fall asleep on his shoulder before the credits even rolled. The way Gloria used to look at him, it made him feel so special.

Now, it was all gone. Gloria had divorced Phil, and Sam had divorced Katie.

Shortly after the divorces finalized, Phil heard through friends that Gloria and Sam had connected in their heartbreak and had moved into a new place along with Phil's son, Brian. Deep inside, under quite a lot of denial and hurt, Phil saw it as poetic justice. But still hated it.

Sam was more father to Brian now than Phil was. Phil did have visitation, but Sam was all his son ever talked about now.

When Phil asked how school was going, Brian would shrug and mumble something vague before moving on. When he dropped Brian back with his mother, Brian would run into Sam's embrace with all his attention on Sam, his actual dad forgotten.

That cut deeper than anything else.

Phil just sat there, staring into his drink, feeling the weight of every decision he'd made, every moment he couldn't take back.

Now he was alone. No wife, no son... and not even Katie. His perfect life was nothing but ashes now.