The Denouncement

I stopped in my tracks and stared at her.

"I couldn't wait until Sunday," she said.

"I didn't see your car out front."

"Your mom let me put it in the garage. We were afraid that you would keep on going if you saw it."

"That would have been a good bet. What do you want Gail?"

"In a nutshell - you."

"That doesn't make sense Gail Sue. You had me and you threw me away. You were very clear about your opinion of me and your need to get away from me and move on."

"I didn't mean it Rob. I made a big mistake. I expected you to miss me and decide that you didn't want to lose me and you would ask me to please come home. Then I was going to say okay, but only if you would loosen up sexually. The last thing that I expected was that you would file for a divorce. I thought you loved me. I thought that you would do whatever you had to do to keep me. I almost died when I was served with the divorce papers."

"Why would I even think about wanting to keep you after the way you trashed me? You had no use for me as I recall. You flat out told me that I was no good in bed and wasn't getting the job done and that your need for sex was greater than mine so goodbye Rob. Why, after hearing you say that, would I even think about chasing after you and trying to get you to come back?"

"I'm sorry Rob. I didn't mean to make it sound so harsh. You were great Rob, but only as long as we did nothing but make love in the missionary position. I needed more than that. My leaving you was supposed to make you come after me and agree to at least try the other things I wanted to do. I knew if I could get you to try them at least once you would like to continue them. The last thing that I ever expected was to have divorce papers served on me. I love you Rob and the last thing I want is a divorce. I've been trying to get you to talk to me ever since so I could get you to drop the divorce."

"Is that what you planned on talking about on Sunday?"

"Yes it was, but after last night I decided that I couldn't wait until Sunday."

"What happened last night?"

"I was driving by the house and I saw the same car that was there last Wednesday when I saw the woman come to the house and let herself in. I decided that I needed to do something quick before you got too attached to another woman so I asked your mother to help me. Honest to God Rob, I do love you. I want you back. I want you back even if I do have to settle for just missionary position sex for the rest of my life. Having you that way is one hundred percent better than not having you at all."

I sat there and looked at her across the table. I loved her. I missed her something fierce, but in the back of my mind there was the fact that she had caused me great pain with her denouncement of me and her walking out on me. And, as I had told my mom when she told me what I had to do to get Gail back, what would be the next thing she would threaten to leave me over? The pain had faded in the most part because of Veronica and Marge and their making me feel like I was pretty good in bed. The question was did I want to risk the pain again and the answer to that was a loud no! But how to get that across to Gail Sue in a way she could see it. I decided to be a hypocrite and go after her.

"I'm sorry Gail. I don't think that we can get back together after what has happened. If I took you back I would spend all my time wondering about you and the men you have been with."

"What men Rob?

"The men you have been with since you walked out on me."

"There haven't been any men Rob."

"Oh come on Gail Sue. We made love four, five and sometimes six times a week and then you made this big speech about how important sex was to you. Add to that what you told me about your sexual experiences before we got married and I'm supposed to believe that you weren't out getting laid as soon as you were out of the house? Get Serious!"

"I am serious Rob. No man except you has touched me since I put your ring on my finger. Knowing that and the fact that I fully expected you to come after me can you honestly believe that I would betray you?"

"I never would have believed that you could walk out on me like you did, but it happened."

"I screwed up Rob. I didn't think it through. It never even occurred to me that you wouldn't come after me. I miss you Rob. I need you. I need to come back home and be with you."

"And what happens the next time you don't get what you want? What will you do to me then?"

"I've learned Rob. I promise I'll never do anything as stupid as what I've done ever again. I screwed up Rob; I admit it and I'm begging you to drop the divorce and let me come home."

"I don't know Gail Sue. I don't know that I want to risk having to go through the pain again. I'll have to think about it."

I stood up and told her that I would be in touch and I walked out of the kitchen. Mom was sitting on the living room sofa and I didn't know how much she had heard, if anything, of what went on in the kitchen. I bent down and kissed her on the forehead and said:

"I behaved myself. I'll talk to you later" and then I went home.

+++++++++++++++++

I didn't get a whole lot of work done on Friday. I spent the day thinking of my talk with Gail and thinking about what Veronica and I would be doing that night which brought me back to Gail Sue. I believed her when she said that she had not been with other men. During our meeting I noticed that she was still wearing her wedding rings.

I remembered my statements about what I expected after putting the ring on her finger and then I tried to justify my actions since Gail Sue left me. We were still married, even though going through a divorce, and Gail was still being true to her promise to me while I wasn't even close to holding to my expressed creed. That made me the worst kind of hypocrite. How could I even consider being upset at what she might have done since leaving me when I had been involved sexually with three different women during the same period? The fact of the matter was that she had honored my stated position and I had not. I could rationalize it all I wanted saying that we were being divorced so it didn't matter, but it did. We were still legally married and I was still wearing my ring.

At lunch I asked Roni what she would like to do on our date and she said that she didn't want to go out.

"I'd like to fix us a light supper and stay in. I'm sure that we can find something to occupy our time."

We did find something to occupy our time and while it was very enjoyable (to say nothing about it being very exhausting) I had a small problem. I thought constantly about Gail. I thought about how I was doing everything that Gail was always after me to try and how much I was enjoying it and I wondered what it would be like to be doing those things with Gail.

How different would it be?

Not having any experience before Gail Sue I wasn't aware of how much different the same thing could be with different people. Making love with Roni was different from making love with Marge which was different than the same thing with Pam and the three of them were all different than it was with Gail Sue. Gail Sue moaned and gasped. Pam made a high pitched 'keening' sound and Veronica strung out a series of "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes" while Marge was very vocal with lots of "Fuck me, fuck me hard" and "Make me cum baby, fuck me hard and get me there" and an occasional "Oh God, I love your cock."

Pam gripped my shoulders and pulled me down to her whereas Gail dug her nails in my butt and tried to pull me deeper in to her. Roni wrapped her long legs around me and locked them together while Marge used her knees to clamp my waist. It was basically the same thing - get hard, put it in, go back and forth - but it was different with each of them and that was just sex in the missionary position. The three were also different in the way they gave head and did anal and I wondered how Gail would be doing those things.

I spent the night at Roni's and over breakfast in the morning Roni said:

"I had fun last night, but I'm just a bit curious. You didn't seem like you were here a time or two. Something bothering you?"

I sort of shrugged and she sensed that it was something that I was hesitant to talk about and she said:

"The nice thing about the friends with benefits relationship that we have is that you can talk to me about things without worrying about me getting bent out of shape. I have no designs on you for anything other than what we shared last night so come on sweetie, tell mommy what's bothering you."

What the hell I thought, it won't hurt to get someone else's take on things so I told her the entire story of my break up with Gail and about going to my mother's and finding Gail Sue there and about the talk I'd had with Gail.

"Oh wow! I'm only your second?"

I nodded my head "yes" and she said, "So where is the problem? You still care for her and it certainly sounds like she cares for you. Stop the divorce and get on with your life."

"The problem is the old adage "Once burnt, twice shy." If she would walk out on me over something as simple as sex what would keep her from walking out over something more important?"

"That is your first big problem sweetie. You keep thinking that sex is unimportant. Sex is very important to a lot of people. Maybe not to some with a low sex drive, but for some one with a normal sex drive sex is a physical need just like the need to eat, drink and breathe. And for some one with a high sex drive, which it sounds like what your wife has, the need is even greater. To be honest sweetie, I can understand why she did what she did. I probably would have done the same thing. The big difference between your wife and me is that I would most definitely have been making up for the long dry spell as soon as I was out of the house. You will remember that I wasn't at all hesitant to get you in my bed as soon as I found out about your divorce.

"You obviously like sex; at least you sure seem to like to do what you do with me, so you should be able to take care of your wife's needs. As for her leaving you over something else? Worry about that when it happens. If it does happen then next time you don't let her come back. You go to that other old adage, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

"There is still the problem of you."

"Me? Why am I a problem? We don't have a long term thing going for us. All I am interested in is occasional fun."

"That's not what I mean. I only got involved with you because I thought as soon as she moved out she started having sex with someone. I thought, "What the hell; she is so I can too." It turns out that she didn't, but I did."

"So what? Tell her about it. Let it be her punishment for doing what she did to you. She will accept it or she won't. If she doesn't accept it her feelings for you aren't as strong as she says they are and there is no sense in the two of you getting back together."

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to keep too busy to think about Gail and the talk we'd had and without any luck. I would put her out of my mind and ten minutes later she would be back. I went to work Monday with no clearer idea of what I should do than I'd had on Thursday after our talk. What complicated things was that I did love Gail and I did miss her. I missed her so bad that it hurt, but I could not forget the cold way she looked right at me and said:

"I'll cut right to the chase; I'm leaving you" and the equally cold, "You are no good in bed."

I knew then that she said those things for their shock value, but she did say them and they had cut deeply into me.

Marge stopped by my desk shortly after I got to work and asked if we were still on for Wednesday and I said yes. As she walked away from me I wondered if I had just made up my mind. Would I have said yes so quickly if I were really going to let Gail come back? Also, I saw Katrina sitting at her desk and I wondered if she was doing anything Friday night and would I have been thinking like that if I was seriously considering putting things back together with Gail Sue? Fortunately I had so much work on my desk that it took my mind off the Gail problem.

The red light was blinking on the answering machine when I got home. Two messages - both the same - "Please call me Rob." I knew she was looking for an answer and I didn't have one to give her so I didn't return her calls. She knew what time I usually got home and I expected her to call again so I unplugged the phone and turned off the answering machine.

I didn't sleep well that night. There were two warring factions in my head and they were pushing hard at each other. One was saying "Get her back, you know you want to. You know you love her and miss her." The other was saying "Don't do it. Don't let her back in your life so she can hurt you again."

I finally fell into a fitful sleep. The alarm jarred me awake and in the half awake/half asleep state I reached over and shut the alarm off and as I did I noticed that Gail's head was not on the pillow next to mine and for a fraction of a second I wondered where she could be. And then I came fully awake and remembered that she was no longer with me. I sat on the edge of the bed shaking my head and wondered why I thought she should have been there. Was my sub-conscious mind sending me a message?

I dressed and went to work and around nine or so Roni stopped by my desk and asked me if I would like to stop by her house and play on Sunday and I surprised myself when I said:

"I don't know. I guess it will depend on my wife."

"Oh? You've made a decision?"

"I guess I have" I said as I reached for the phone.

+++++++++++++++

I knocked on the door to Gail's place right at six and the door immediately opened. It was almost like she had been standing inside just waiting for my knock. She led me into the kitchen and she sat down at the table while I stood there and looked down at her.

"I've thought about what you said last Thursday. I know you said that you really didn't mean the things that you said about me, but that doesn't change the fact that you did say them and they hurt me deeply. I can't say to myself "Oh goody, she didn't mean what she said so you can just forget all about the pain and suffering" and have it go away. I had to live with it Gail Sue. I didn't know then that you didn't mean it so I had to live with it. I had to live with knowing that you walked out the door and before the week was over you were lying on your back, legs spread and welcoming another man into your body.

"I swear to you Rob I didn't....."

"I know what you said last Thursday Gail and I believe you, but based on what you told me about your past, about how highly sexed you were and how I wasn't getting the job done I just knew you had to be getting sex as soon as you could find a place with a bed. That is the impression that you left me with Gail and though it might not have happened you still planted the seed. Perception is reality to the perceiver Gail Sue and my perception was that you didn't get what you wanted from me so you were leaving so you could get it from someone else. Again, perception is reality and I perceived that you were out there making up for the long dry spell you suffered through by being with me."

"Honest to God Rob, I..."

"I already said that I believe you Gail, but you didn't say it until last Thursday. So in my mind from the day you left me until last Thursday you were out there getting laid as much as you wanted. So I developed the attitude that what you were out there doing cancelled the contract we made with each other when we exchanged vows. The second you were served with divorce papers I considered myself free to have a sex life of my own and I have been sexually involved with three different women. And there is more. I have done with them the things you wanted me to do with you. I have had blow jobs and they were great. I have eaten pussy and have come to like doing it. I have found anal sex to be enjoyable and as far as positions are concerned I've tried doggie, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl and I liked them all.

"Why am I telling you all this? To make a point Gail. I am not the same man that you walked out on. I have changed a lot and probably for the better, but there is one thing about me that you need to know. I am a hypocrite. If you had so much as kissed another man after walking out on me I would not take you back if my life depended on it, but if you come back it will be knowing that I was out there having a good time and I'm not the least bit sorry that I did.

"But notice that I said "if." If I let you come back it will be with the understanding that in the sexual department it will be what I say goes. Even though I have tried all the things you have always wanted to do and found out that I like them I will not be doing them with you. If you come back it will be with the knowledge that all you will be getting is straight missionary position sex until I decide otherwise. Could be three months, could be a year. Could be five years, but whatever, until I decided different it will be missionary position only and with no whining. The first time you bitch about it you are out of the house and the divorce is back in the works. A little Draconian perhaps, but you hurt me and I want payback. I figure that you knowing that I like those things you wanted, but won't do them with you will make you suffer some of the anguish I suffered through.

"Think about it Gail, and decide if you want to come back under those conditions. I'll call you Thursday for your answer."

"I can answer you now."

"I don't want your answer now. I want you to take the time to think long and hard on the choice I have just given you. I'll call you Thursday.

I walked out leaving her sitting at her kitchen table.

+++++++++++++++

"Oh God yes, do it baby, fuck my butt" she moaned as I drove myself into her tight shitter. It had been a hard night. It had started out with me eating her pussy and then taking her doggie. Then she sucked me hard and I fucked her missionary. Next was a sixty-nine to get me up again after which she rode me cowgirl. Another blow job to get me up again so I could drive up her dirt road. As I pressed hard for my fourth release of the night I wondered if her husband was really all that poor in bed or if the problem was that she had just flat worn the poor man out. As fit as I was I was having a hard time staying with her and I was only seeing her one night a week.

I felt it coming and I gripped her hips and hit her hard. She recognized the signs and moaned, "Give it to me, cum for me baby, cum for me" and I let go in her. It wasn't much - probably just a dribble - since she had gotten most of what I had the first three times. She fell forward on the bed and rolled over on her back. She smiled up at me and said:

"If I wash it off and work on it do you think you might have one more in you?"

"No way, no way at all."

"Well then I guess I might as well shower. Next week you better take your vitamins lover."

"There may not be a next week."

"Oh? Getting tired of me already?"

"The wife and I are talking about her coming back. I should know what we are going to be doing by the end of the week. If we decide that it won't work I'll be free next Wednesday and if we decide to give it a try I won't."

"That's not fair. I finally find a playmate that suits me and you bail out on me."

"You would have gotten tired of me eventually. Either that or I would have found a girlfriend. I'm the marrying kind. I like being married and you are already spoken for. Of course you could always leave your hubby."

"Not a chance lover. Except for the bed part he is solid gold and I'm keeping him."

"Well, don't give up on me just yet. I'll know by Friday what Gail and I will be doing."