My wife Jesse and I were on a 10-day cruise, a very expensive cruise I booked in hopes of saving our marriage. Over her objections, I had coerced Jesse to join me for dinner on day eight. Yes, getting my wife to join me for dinner or anything else on our romantic getaway had become somewhat of a chore. Jesse barely picked at her dinner and spent most of her time surveying the room, obviously looking for somebody.
"Jesse, if you're looking for your friend Mr. Parish, he never reboarded the ship after today's walking tour. Or should I refer to him as your lover."
"Have you lost your mind Jack?"
"He received a phone call from his wife this afternoon and is flying home as we speak. He's hoping to save his marriage. I'm obviously a poor judge of character but from my conversations with Mrs. Parish, I'm thinking he won't make it through the front door."
"You spoke to his wife?"
"Yes, it was a crazy conversation. I told her that her husband was having an affair with my wife, and she said her husband was having affairs with multiple wives, which one was I referring to."
"He was cheating on me?"
"Yes, how ironic, the cheater cheating on the cheater."
"You have lost your mind Jack, I don't cheat."
"Sometimes I wonder Jesse, you know I booked this cruise so that we could reconnect, and you went and had your lover book the same cruise. I know that we have grown apart over the last year, but I did not realize that you actually hated me so much that you would do something like that to me."
"I actually thought there was a chance for us. Your sister warned me I had lost the battle long ago. She offered to take your place on the cruise."
There was a look of horror on Jesse's face. That look was worth the cost of this cruise.
"You spoke to my sister?"
"Yes, she called me some time ago to tell me about your affair, of course I already knew about it. Your parents are not happy with you either."
"My parents know?"
"They had trouble believing your sister, after all you were the golden child. But after I shared an earlier copy of the PI report, they realized that you were far from the golden child."