Chapter 1
"Gee, Zach! It sounds so... I don't even know how to say it... just dirty," she said. She leaned away and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. I held on to her hand, partly because I liked touching her - any part of her - and partly to prevent her from walking away in disgust before I had a chance to explain.
"No, no... the emphasis is on personal, not slut," I pleaded. "And it's only for me," I squeezed her hand for emphasis as I continued. "A possessive pronoun and an adjective - my and personal - are the primary ideas... the slut part is not to be taken literally." I looked into her eyes. "But I do want you to behave like one when you're alone with me," I explained. Back and forth my eyes darted, focusing first on one of her eyes, then the other. She couldn't have been surprised by my passion, but she seemed suspicious that it had all been focused on her as of late.
"And what exactly do I get out of this?" she asked, fighting a smile.
"Wow, well..." I stammered. "There's the benefit you'll derive from having the attention of a man, a man who worships you, and wants to give you as much sexual pleasure as he can possibly bestow upon you..."
"I see..."
"Yeah, you see, since I derive so much pleasure from making you cum, then the more I make you cum, the more pleasure I receive, and we're in a win-win situation." I continued to hold her hand, though I no longer felt as if she were going to run away.
"So, explain to me why I have to act like a slut in front of you all the time when we're alone, if you already derive so much pleasure from making me cu... uh..., giving me pleasure?" she asked, placing her other hand on top of mine.
"That's a good question... a fair question," I started, trying to buy a little thinking time before I spoke. "Well, you see, it's like this...," I began. Then I thought, aw fuck it, it's always best to just tell the truth, so I started to explain. "One of my biggest fantasies is to have a wife who can't get enough of her man's cock and tongue." I paused and looked deeply into her eyes. "She craves everything about having sex with her husband so much that she begins to need to be satisfied by him constantly. She understands that, if dressing like a slut and acting like a slut around him turns him on sooo much that he becomes wild with desire and gives her multiple orgasms, then she'll be happy to dress and act like a slut around him." I paused. She said nothing, just looked at me. I continued. "As I understand it, a woman who dresses like a slut wears as little as possible to make her more alluring to possible suitors, and to give them easy access to her goodies." I paused again. I waited. She said nothing. We stared at each other.
"Suitors?" she asked finally, raising an eyebrow.
"Euphemistically speaking, of course..."
"Of course..." she smirked. I smiled.
"I'll be the only 'suitor' in this case," I reassured her. She smiled. We sat looking at each other for another few moments before she finally said, "This is silly, you know?" Oh, fuck, here it comes! "Why are you spending all this time and energy worrying about how to dress me up as your personal slut rather than figuring out how we are going to get enough money together to pay the first installment of your daughter's tuition that's due in two months?" She pulled her hand away from me. Her demeanor was serious. Gone from her eyes was that sexy twinkle, replaced by an accusatory glare. Kate was dictating now! I had foolishly forgotten about Kate, and now it was too late. She was on me like a cat. I was shocked by the quickness of the transformation. I froze. It had destroyed my train of thought, and I was dead in the water. I cringed, waiting for the coupe de grace, when Sarah quickly said, "Let's talk about this later, I have to get started on the laundry." She patted my hand patronizingly and went on about her business.
At this point I guess I need to explain just who the fuck Kate and Sarah are. Sarah is my wife of twenty years. Unfortunately, somewhere inside Sarah lives, or should I say lurks Kate. Kate is a bitch. You do not want to mess with Kate, no siree, Bob. Kate does not believe in fun or romance. Kate will always find the darkest side of any situation and dwell on it. Kate will cuss you out in a heart beat if she thinks you've wronged her, sort of a shoot first ask questions later approach to human relations. Kate is mean. Kate is vindictive. Kate is ruthless. Kate is selfish. Kate is ..., I could continue in this manner, but it doesn't get any better, and I think you're beginning to get the picture. Yet, I feel that I must clarify for you that the nature of Kate's existence is a distinct part of Sarah's personality. Let me explain with some examples. I am reminded of two separate characters, cultural icons if you will, that are like Kate. One is Tweetie Bird. I know, you're thinking, "Tweetie Bird?" But, remember that episode where Sylvester chases Tweetie bird into Dr. Jekyl's laboratory and he accidentally drinks some of Jekyl's formula? Remember the hideous creature that takes over Tweetie's body periodically (no pun intended, but maybe I should look into the connection)? Well, that hideous Tweetie is Kate!
Now, the other character that reminds me of Kate is Gollum, a.k.a. Sméagol, especially Andy Serkis's rendition of him in the Lord of the Rings movies. His portrayal of the phenomenon of two distinct personalities inhabiting one body is as close to anything I've seen that describes the co-existence of Sarah and Kate, though in real life the transitions are neither as frequent nor quite so psychotic. So, if you combine those two examples, you get a better idea of Kate's personality. I have not yet been able to exorcise Kate from Sarah. Fortunately, I've discovered a treatment that at least keeps Kate at bay. Basically, I ply her with copious amounts of cannabis and multiple orgasms.
Make no mistake; Sarah Katherine Hill is a divine creature of the highest order. Sarah, as they say, is built up from the ground. She is extremely well proportioned. In today's urban vernacular she would be described as "thick". In her prime, her body could be said to resemble a combination of Serena Williams and Jennifer Lopez, with a little Vita Guerra thrown in. Yeah, if you morph those three together any way you want you get Sarah. Those of you familiar with the art work of Frank Frazetta no doubt know exactly the body type of which I speak. There is nothing small about a "Frazetta woman." Fucking a "Frazetta woman" is an athletic event. One should train for the occasion. In high school Sarah was a cheerleader in the fall and winter, and she played lacrosse in the spring. She even played lacrosse in college where I met her. At 5' 10", 155 lbs., 36DD – 26 – 40, she was truly a fine, athletic specimen. To "news-personality" beauty add brains, wit, compassion, perseverance, and moxy, and you have a pretty impressive human being, pretty impressive indeed, and terribly intimidating.