The Court Case 1

Hi everyone, my last story got a right pasting for the lame ending. Sorry, you were right, I lost interest in the plot and finished it early. To those of you who liked it, thank you for your nice comments.

This story is told tongue in cheek, I realise it's ridiculous in its entirety, but I wrote it as life should be if our divorce systems were fair.

Please note, I wrote this for fun, not to be accurate, so please read it in the same frame of mind that I wrote it.

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My name is Mike Price. I'm just under six feet tall and weigh twelve stone six Lbs (174 pounds for our American friends).

My soon-to-be ex-wife Karen is a little hottie at 5'8" with a 38" bust (C cup), 26" waist and long red hair.

We met at Uni, I was studying Architecture and business management, and she was studying History, English and finding a suitable husband. To cut a long story short we met, fucked and married after graduating.

I went to work for my dad's best friend, designing low-cost housing for couples looking to buy their first house. For the first three years, I was happy in my work but wanted to branch out on my own. My boss encouraged me and allowed me to use an office in the same building where I presently worked. Part of the deal was that I would still be part of his design team for new projects.

Karen and I now had a two-year-old daughter named Sarah, whom we idolised. Karen was a stay-at-home mom before which she having been a stay-at-home housewife. We lived in a two-bed starter home, the mortgage was in my name only as Karen had never worked, so she could show no income.

I wanted to design high-end properties, and my uncle helped by referring me to his associates, and my new venture started to gain momentum. Three years later, we had increased our family with a little boy we called Benjamin after my uncle.

I was very popular in the upper end of the market and had several mini mansions built and sold throughout the country. My reputation for quality and reliability served me well. At any one time, I had three to four projects in construction and a couple in the planning stage. Of course, this meant I worked long hours, usually twelve to fifteen hours a day. Karen never complained as we now lived in one of my mini mansions just outside of Henley-on-Thames on four acres of land. We were members of the local country club (me in name only, as I never had the time to go) and drove new cars.

I was well on the way to attaining my goal of retiring at fifty, a multi-millionaire. I was already a multi-millionaire, but only in the low double figures.

Life at home was good. Karen went out every day with her friends, doing whatever the upper class did to while away their time, while I made the money to make it possible. We had the house, the cars, a nanny for the children and a maid to cook and clean the house. Karen was an absentee mother and seemed to like it that way. I, on the other hand, spent as much time with the children as I could. A point of instance, I booked a long weekend at Disneyland in France for the family. Karen said she couldn't spare the time as she had made other arrangements with her friends. I was furious as I had told her about the booking weeks ago, but she was adamant and wouldn't budge. The children and I had a great time. The night before we were due to go home, Sarah floored me by saying.

"I'm glad Mom wouldn't come, we had a much better time without her."

Don't get me wrong, we still had great holidays abroad, and our sex life was adequate if not exciting. I did try to spice it up, but Karen said she preferred our love-making the way it had always been, slow and gentle. (happy wife, happy life)

The years rolled by and before I knew it Sarah was fifteen and becoming a woman and Ben was thirteen and becoming a pain in the ass as boys of that age will be.

I first started getting suspicious when I found some sexy clothes in her closet that I hadn't seen before. I was looking for some sweats to lend to Maria, our maid, she had spilt some bleach on herself and her clothes were ruined. I found the sweats and took them to her. She thanked me and went home. It was a Tuesday, so I didn't expect Karen to be home until late, as it was one of her girls' night out days. Our Chinese nanny was in the nanny annexe, and the kids were in their rooms, probably on their phones.

I sat and pondered my discovery, trying not to come to the obvious conclusion that my wife was playing away. Our love life was ok, not great, but ok, she seemed her usual self, and I hadn't noticed anything unusual. So I started thinking back on our marriage. Was everything usual because she had been cheating from the start, so I wouldn't have seen any change. I usually went to bed before she got home on GNO nights but tonight I would wait up.

I heard her car pull up on the drive and her high heels clicking as she approached the front door. When she came in I turned on the lights and made her jump. She was wearing a very sexy outfit that I hadn't seen before either.

"Oh, hi honey, you startled me. I thought you would be asleep by now. Why did you wait up?"

"Couldn't sleep, thought we might have a hot chocolate before we turned in."

"Sounds good, I'll just grab a quick shower."

"No, don't do that, you look so sexy in that outfit, let's fool around a bit first"

"I'll be quick and put on a sexy nightdress and we can have some fun then."

I quickly grabbed her and spun her around and into my arms.

"You smell of cigarettes and something else. Were you dancing with other men? I can smell their aftershave and arousal."

Before she could answer, I put my hand up her short dress and felt a very wet panty crotch. She took a sharp intake of breath and pulled away.

"Sorry, babe, some of the guys from my friend Ann's work showed up and we danced a couple of times, that's all."

"Must have been some dance to get you that wet."

"Well, I had a couple of drinks, and you know how I get when I've been drinking. Come on, let's go to bed, and I'll rock your world."

"Sorry, I find the thought of you with another man turns me off. You go on up and I'll be up later."

As she turned away, I saw the look of relief on her face, so I thought I'd poke the bear a little.

"New outfit? You never dress like that for me, he must be special."

She froze on the stairs for a moment, then bolted the rest of the way. Seems I hit a sore spot. That night, I slept in a spare bedroom and was up and out before her.

I had to finish early today as Ben had a soccer match and I tried never to miss them. The same goes for Sarah and her hockey matches. Karen always seemed to be too busy to attend, so it was just me and the kids. I had decided to cut back on work as I was missing them growing up. To be honest, I had a really good team, and I didn't need to be looking over their shoulders. My business had grown from just me in an office to renting the whole floor and having twenty employees, including five gifted architects. I still designed some impressive buildings, but only the ones that interested me.

I was now convinced Karen was cheating on me, so I contacted a PI firm in London and explained my problem. They seemed sympathetic and said it was becoming more common as women seemed to have so much time on their hands.

It only took two months to build a three-inch report folder, giving me times, places, names and some incriminating videos. Some legal, some not. The legal videos were pretty tame, showing her holding hands and some kissing and going into hotel rooms and leaving several hours later. These I could use in court, the illegal ones showed her having sex in many positions, some of which she had refused me. These I could use as leverage out of court.

I went to see a solicitor (Attorney) specialising in family law to find out where I stood. Amy (the solicitor) informed me I was basically fucked, and Karen would get everything. Half of my business, half of all communal assets, the house and the kids. I would have to pay child support and spousal support, as she had no means of income. I was particularly pissed at her for getting the kids as she hardly ever saw them and paid them no interest. Amy said she would do her best to get me the children, as Karen was, in all aspects, an absent mother, but not to hold my breath. She also said not to move out of the house under any circumstances and to spend as much time with the children as possible.

I had Karen served at the country club while she was having coffee with her friends. She was furious as I had paid extra to have the server state in quite a loud voice that she was being served for adultery. I also had her lover served at the same time for causing intentional harm to my marriage. Her lover was the club secretary and was married to the club chairman. Her family owned the club and was very rich.

Karen fought the divorce, why I don't know, but fight she did, so it was handbags at fifty paces in the courtroom. Her brief (solicitor) wanted a 70/30 split in her favour with the house, the kids and half of my business. I would have been content with 50/50 as long as I kept the kids. She denied adultery and said the photographs proved nothing. I sent the other photographs to her lover's wife, and he was now in a world of hurt, both physically and financially. His wife has two brothers who own a casino and know some nasty characters.

The case dragged on for a few weeks, and then one day the judge banged his gavel repeatedly to get everyone's attention.

"This case has taken far too long, and I have heard enough to make a propriety decision. This court will reconvene in two weeks' time, at which time I will make my decision known. Court adjourned."

The next two weeks were the longest of my life. Karen tried to talk to me and left numerous messages on my phone, which I ignored. Her brief contacted my brief and asked for counselling and a meeting to try and save our marriage. I asked Amy why the turnaround in attitude. Amy said she had probably heard that our judge was known to favour the injured party, and she probably wouldn't get all she wanted. I felt this was good news, and I might just get a little justice out of this after all.

The court case:

Karen and I were each sitting with our respective Solicitors when the clerk of the court said.

"All rise, this court is now in session."

We all stood and waited for the judge to be seated, and then sat down as he started to talk.

"I have listened patiently to both sides of this case and have a few questions of my own. Firstly, to you, Mr Price, were you happy for the first three years of your marriage?"

I stood: "Yes, your honour, we were very happy."

"When did you notice there was a problem?"

"It was soon after we moved into our new house and she joined the country club."

"Please take your seat.

Mrs Price, were you a stay-at-home mother for the first three years?"

Karen stood: "Yes, your Honour."

"When did you start leaving the care of your children to a nanny?"

"When we moved into our new house."

"In the old house, who did the cooking and cleaning?"

"I did your honour."

"Did your husband ever help with these chores? Before you answer, I remind you, you are still under oath."

Karen looked a bit uneasy as she answered.

"Sometimes your honour."

"Did he ever help with the children as changing diapers or doing nighttime feeds?"

"Yes, Your Honour." (said very quietly)

"So would you say he was a loving and attentive husband and father?"

"I suppose."

"Is that a yes or a no answer?"

"Yes, Your Honour."

"So, when you moved and joined the country club, you hired a nanny and maid to do all the work you would normally do, is that right?"

"Yes, Your Honour."

"Mrs Price, before I ask you the next question, and you perjure yourself. I must tell you nobody believes you spent several hours in a hotel room discussing current affairs. So, when did you decide to take a lover after you moved to your new home?"

Karen's eyes darted all over the courtroom looking for salvation.

"Answer the question, Mrs Price."

"I..I..I don't remember."

"Come, come, Mrs Price, surely you remember such a milestone in your marriage?"

"I suppose it was about two or three months after I joined the country club."

"So, let me recap, you were a model wife until you joined the country club, and then you started to deceive your loyal, loving husband and took a lover, is that right?"

"I suppose."

"There is no suppose either you did or you didn't, which is it?"

Karen looks down at the floor.

"Yes, you're right, I did."

"It says here you want the house and full custody of the children, is that right?"

Karen brightens up and grins at me.

"Yes, your Honour."

"You also claim spousal support and child support, is that right?"

"Yes, your Honour."

"Objection" This line of questioning is irrelevant!" (This from her solicitor)

The judge removes his glasses and looks with disdain at her brief.

"Young man, this is my courtroom and I decide what is relevant and if you interrupt me again, I'll hold you in contempt, now sit down and shut up."

Karen's solicitor slumps into his seat, and Karen looks shocked.

"You also claim 70% of the total wealth of your husband is that Right?"

"Yes, your Honour."

"Have you ever worked and contributed to the family wealth?"

"No, your Honour."

"So where does your money come from?"

"I have two credit cards that my husband pays for, plus he gives me a small amount of cash every month for smaller purchases." (said with a smirk in my direction)

"Mrs Price, how much is a small amount?"

"Erm.. Er.. About a thousand pounds, your Honour."

"That's not a small amount by anyone's standard, Mrs Price. And pray tell, what do you spend that princely sum on, may I ask?"

"Just bits and pieces, you know, like coffee and lunch and such."

"So, you haven't been putting it in a secret bank account as a slush fund? I remind you, you are still on oath."

"No, your Honour, I would never do such a thing."

"You mean just like you would never cheat on your husband, which you have already lied about to this court. It might interest you to know that over the past two weeks, I have taken a special interest in this case. I know for a fact you have an account with the Woolwich Building Society with over £156,000.00 in it. I have confiscated this account and intend to give it to its rightful owner, as you made a false declaration regarding your finances."

I am now ready to pass judgment on this case. I will make my decision on each point I have raised.

1/ You claim custody of the children. I have spoken to your children, and they want nothing to do with you. It seems you have had no interest in their lives for some time. So, I have decided to give full custody to your husband and therefore the house too. In regards to the house, normally you would get 50% of the value when it's sold when the children leave home. However, it's abundantly clear that you never contributed a penny to your marriage after the first three years. At that time, you were a loving wife and mother and contributed to your family as such.

2/ You claim 70% of the family wealth. You never contributed to that wealth, so that is denied.

3/You claim spousal support and child support. As I have previously stated, your husband has custody, so child support is out of the question. However, you were a good wife for the first three years, so I order your husband to pay you spousal support for the next three years. The amount will be enough for you to live on, and I set it at £1000.00 a month. He will also have to provide you with appropriate housing for that same period. I understand you have degrees in History and English, I suggest you find employment within the said time frame. I further order Mr Price to furnish you with appropriate transport to enable you to seek work and commute. I understand your present car is leasehold, Mr Price may cancel the lease and find you an alternative vehicle. For the three years you were a perfect wife, I order Mr Price to pay you the sum of £60,000. For lying to this court, I find you in contempt and fine you £30,000 and 30 days in custody. If you had been honest with this court, you would have fared much better.

Mr Price, I award you all of your financial standing, plus the money your wife tried to hide. When your wife finds employment, I order her to pay child support to the value of 20% of her income until they come of age. I encourage you to give your wife reasonable visitation to your children on a supervised basis.

Mrs Price, further to my findings, I order you to surrender your rings to the clerk of the court and to change your name back to your maiden name.

Mr and Mrs Price, you are now divorced. Case closed."

I left the court in a state of shock, along with my solicitor, who couldn't believe what had just happened. He shook my hand and we went our separate ways. The children were ecstatic that they didn't have to live with Karen, but not so happy with her having visitation rights. I said we would have to play it by ear.

That night, my uncle phoned me to congratulate me on my win in court. He asked me to meet him at his golf club for lunch on Sunday as he had a surprise for me. I, of course, agreed.

When I got to the golf club (I didn't play), the steward said my uncle had told him to take care of me while he finished his round. I was sitting, sipping a large scotch (I had taken a cab as lunch with my uncle was usually accompanied by corpus amounts of alcohol). When he walked in, I nearly choked on my scotch, and with him was the judge from my divorce. (It's not what you know but who you know that counts.) Both he and the Judge burst out laughing as they saw my reaction.

After lunch, we sat in the members' lounge talking. I didn't know whether to comment on what had transpired and perhaps cause offence, so I said nothing. As we were preparing to leave and I was waiting for my cab, the judge took me to one side.

"Mike, thank you for not making a scene and embarrassing me, but I have one more piece of information you may wish to hear. I ordered you to find your ex a suitable place to live. Well, it has come to my attention that there is a residential caravan (trailer) park just outside town with units to let. And that BMW she drives is leasehold, so send it back. I saw a nice five-year-old Honda Civic at the dealer's on the way here, it's reliable and fit for her purpose. Now remember, we never had this meeting, never happened."

That said, he got into his cab and drove off.

It's been three years since the divorce became final, and Karen tried to get back with me and talk to me whenever she saw me. She tried cosying up to the kids on her supervised visits, but they saw right threw her. She no longer sees the children, they were just a ticket to a better life. She now teaches history at the local secondary modern school and is dating the headmaster. (Think I'll drop him a line)

Me? I've just started dating a nice widow I met at a parents' meeting. Her kids and mine are of the same age and get along just fine. I'll give it a couple of years and maybe pop the question. (With an iron-clad prenup)

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As I said at the beginning, the above is just wishful thinking.

Now, as a much better author than I said.

"Lighten the fuck up."

Picture a line of fishermen on the bank of a canal next to a bridge. As they are fishing, a funeral procession crosses the bridge. As it crosses, a fisherman stands up and removes his hat, placing it over his heart. A nearby fisherman sees this and says.

"That was respectful, I'm impressed."

The fisherman who stood replied.

"Well, I was married to her for twenty-five years."