This is my third installment on my first submission. I hope you enjoy.
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Eddy, the owner of the glass supply store, was beaming as I handed over my credit card. In all, I felt pretty good about dropping only six grand to get me started. I had two weeks before I was going to take off for two week long classes in the upper northwest. I figured that if my average fusing schedule was less than 12 hours, and I took only four hours to clean up and set up the kilns for the next batch, I would get 20 firings from each of my three kilns before I left. Each piece usually needed three or four firings, and figuring in for breakage, I figured that I may get 40 pieces out of this effort.
I knew that I have to talk to Tonya tonight, and that put a damper on my enthusiasm, but just a little. I felt that Tonya had left the marriage when she started the affair with Ben, and I now knew that it had started before the band trip to Orlando. That meant that her affair with Ben had been going on for at least seven months. Mary had also had something going on with Ben less than a year ago, so I felt fairly sure of the duration of Tonya's infidelity was between seven months and one year.
I didn't care much anymore. We had drifted apart, and were leading separate lives. I had been immersed in my job as a contract negotiator, and she was an English teacher and drill team coach. We were living in the same house, but living separate lives. I don't know how this happened, but I believe that both of us were to blame. We married when we were only 22, right out of college. We had no real work experience, and both of us would change as we left academia and entered the real world.
I have been told that the optimal age to marry is around 28, which may be true. I have also been told that it takes about 10,000 hours of experience to become a master craftsman. If one works 2,000 hours each year, it takes 5 years to apprenticeship to become a master. If I graduated from college at 22, and did 5 year apprenticeship to become a master contract negotiator, this would place me at 27, stable in my job, and ready to take a wife. I am 30 years old, so that point would have been three years ago. I tried to think about how I felt about Tonya three years ago; would I have started to court an English teacher and drill team instructor? I wasn't sure.
I flipped the question and mulled it over. Would Tonya want to marry a contract negotiator? Oh, no! My answer was emphatically no! Tonya had to teach these girls to smile and be perky all the time; they are putting on a show. Tonya may have been a modern dancer, with multiple nuances of emotion, but she had stifled them into a model of what she wanted her girls to be like. The Tonya that was now would not want a careful plodding contract negotiator. She may have wanted a graphic designer brimming with new ideas, but not a contract negotiator.
I can't cry out "Do Over!" and go back eight years. It's just not possible. What I did need to do is figure out where to go from here. There were no children at this point, and for all I knew, Tonya was now sterile from Chlamydia, and could not even fulfill my desire to bear children at this point. I might have felt bad about dumping Tonya and moving on, but she had already moved on and found a lover. It was time for me to do the same.
One other thing that was bothering me was that I did not seem to be possessive about Tonya. Other men might have beaten the crap out of their wife's lover, but I only laughed at the thought at how easy he would have gone down. This may have been my eighteen years of martial arts training coming out, and my instinct was that I was the superior fighter, and the superior fighter does not engage such a novice. Hell, I had seen this guy get nosebleeds trying to run to the top of the stands to check the marching band's formation on the field. The other part of the equation would be what Tonya would have thought about me beating Ben to a pulp. I would be the bully, and Ben would be the victim. Even though Ben had in a sense "violated my property", I think such a mismatch would result in Ben getting more sympathy than I would get feelings of security. And yes; a woman feels safe and secure when a man defends her.
I went back in my mind to the incident in the parking lot with the idiot harassing Sherri. Why did Sherri have disgust written all over her face? It was simple; she was not my girlfriend, or my property. If anything, Sherri belonged to Mary. I felt I was right in my feelings at the time; I was standing in as proxy for Mary. Sherri had known that my marriage was on the rocks, but she was not interested in me as a husband, just as a sperm donor. The gap between a potential sperm donor and a potential life partner was too huge a gap for her to see me as a protector. She would have feelings for Mary standing up for her, but not me. The incident in the parking lot was more like a male war zone, with Sherri as the prize. Entering a war zone does not make a woman feel safe, it just the opposite. Besides, Sherri was fed up with men objectifying her, and her being the prize of a fight is possibly the worst form of objectification there is.
Sherri wanted a person to look beyond her enticing flesh and bones, and fall in love with the pure soul within. With the amount of ogling that I did when I was near Sherri, I had no clue what she saw in me. Even Mary knew that my brain was helpless as were many other men, when Sherri sauntered by me. Maybe the martial arts training of control had paid off here, too. Other than being in good physical shape, and having a college degree, I was still absolutely clueless why Sherri had selected me.
I pulled into the driveway to an empty house. This was Thursday, the last day of midterms, and I expected that Tanya would be at school grading papers tonight. Since the midterm grades needed to be posted by tomorrow, many teachers elected to work late into the evening at school. It was a tradition to send out for pizza, and many teachers would end up in the cafeteria in a group grading session. I opened the detached garage, which I had made into a studio, and started unloading glass. Once I was done, I went into the house and retrieved my video camera, ordered five pizzas to go, and headed in my car towards the pizza parlor.
My plan was simple, meet with Tonya in a public place, and control her bitchiness by being around her peers. Mary had asked me to delay confronting Tonya until after the football game tomorrow night. Tonya had always had two faces with me, a public face of a perky drill team instructor, and the private face of the critical English teacher. I knew that my acting might not get by the private face, but the public face could not ask so many prying questions. I decided that I would choose the battleground for this confrontation, and we were going to have the "talk" on my terms. I was simply delaying the inevitable, which is what Mary asked me to do.
I also had second thoughts about how I was going to watch Tonya and Ben interact tomorrow night, and that's where the video camera came in. I had thought about the idea of watching Tonya and Ben while at the game, and I decided that if I acted differently, that they would also act differently. What I needed to do was act as normal as possible, and video tape the three of us. Ben usually sat on the bottom bench seat sectioned off for the marching band. The drill team and Tonya sat in on the benches below the marching band. If I placed a video camera to film the drill team doing their syncopated routines in the stands, while the football team played, I could also catch the first row of the marching band, and Ben. I could then re-watch the interactions between them.
I picked up the pizzas and took them to the school. Tonya was in the cafeteria with the other teachers, just as I had expected. When I held up the pizzas, I was given a round of applause. I went over and dropped them off with the other pizzas. I took two pieces and went over and sat next to Tonya. I offered her a piece, and kept a piece for myself. Tonya was not the venomous snake like she was this morning, but very polite. She was putting on appearances for the other teachers, and didn't want to look like a nagging wife.
My plan was working! I figured that bringing a stack of pizzas to her grading session would act as a peace offering, and soften her even more. I was using this time to delay our talk, and give her an out.
We did exchange pleasantries, and I told her that I had purchased some new glass. I didn't go into the amount, and she would assume that I had just purchased just a few sheets. I asked her how the drill team was doing, and when was the competition schedule. She knew that I had already made plans to be in Oregon and British Columbia during the competition, but I reminded her of that. When she started to get testy about me not "being there" for her, I just reminded her that she had not "been there" for me last night. Once again, Tonya was not about to go into mega-bitch mode in front of the other teachers, so the tit for tat stayed very cordial.