My name is Rebecca. I am a married woman, with three adult kids. My husband John and I have been together since high school. We were married the day after high school graduation, and we have been very happy all these years. We've had twenty-four happy and wonderful years so far, but our time is short. Rather, my time is short.
You see, I'm dying. I have several kinds of cancer in my body, and any one of them would be lethal to me. My doctors have given me four to six months to live now. It's strange you know, I don't feel all that sick at times, just some pains here and there. I do have times when I am so sick I can't even think straight, but mostly I am able to get out and about still. They have told me that in a couple of months that won't be the case, so I'm getting out as much as I can now, while I still can.
I suppose a little background in my life would be helpful to you all, because when you hear the rest of my story, you will think I've gone off the deep end. I know of two people who think that right now anyway. They are beginning to come to an understanding of why and I think they are at least giving me the benefit of a large doubt.
John and I met in high school. We dated, and I can tell you that even on the first date with him I knew he was going to be my husband. I loved him way back then. We were together all through high school, and then we got married the day after graduation.
We both went to college, and some may think that a married couple going to college like we did was impossible, but we managed to get it done. You see, what John wanted in a degree meant that he had to go to a certain school. What I wanted in a degree meant that I had to go to another school. We both went to college, but they were four hundred miles apart.
Suffice it to say that our marriage has always been quite unorthodox. We went to college, married, yet apart. We got together on weekends and on holidays. During the summers we lived together and worked to make enough money to support us during the school year. We loved each other and at times this kind of separation was so hard on us. Still, we managed to keep it all together without straying and we also managed to keep our love for each other pure too.
We both graduated college on the same day, so when that time came our families came to each of our ceremonies. His parents to his, my parents to mine. Our parents both filmed the whole day, and we got both films blended together into one great one. Yes, you could say that our marriage started out quite unconventional.
Our love for each other was so strong though, we managed to not be tempted or stray. We did have great sex when we were able to get together, and at times our friends thought all we ever did was fuck, fuck, fuck. Truth be known, we did do a lot of fucking. We also made love. Lots of love.
By the time we were twenty-three years of age we had both graduated college with our four-year degrees. We had three kids when I walked down the isle at my graduation.. It wasn't really planned that way, but we had been making love so often I still think to this day that we just overwhelmed the contraceptive we were using. Yes...we had sex a lot when we could get together.
We ended up having three kids back to back, all within the four years we went to college. It was hard on my body, but I recovered my original shape and form after each child. It was also very hard on my schooling. I managed to keep up though. My mom helped a lot that was for sure.
John's career flew and he was doing very well by the time our kids got into high school. I had worked off and on through the years, and had a career of my own then too. Our kids went out on their own the year I turned forty-one. The following year I was diagnosed with the first cancer.
It devastated me, but it also hit John very hard too. You see, I had always taken care of half of everything around the house, and we had always been so close. Closer than most married couples usually were. People had commented on that fact lots of times in the past. I could see it in John's eyes time to time, especially when we got the word that I was dying and nothing could be done for me.
John spent weeks fighting that, taking me to doctor after doctor, clinic after clinic. Finally, I just had to stop him. He had lost reason at some point and in his push to save me, he was driving himself into an early grave. We had a long talk about things, and he finally saw that I was too tired to fight it anymore. I wanted to use what little time I had left just loving my family.
That's when I began to worry about John more seriously. He had taken to staying up late some nights, and just staring into the fireplace. I watched him night after night, withdrawing into a shell. I could see in my husbands' eyes, that about the time I died, he was going to too. I couldn't allow that. It was bad enough that I'd never see my grandkids, but there was not one chance in hell I'd let John waste away and die too. I figured that I would need to find him a replacement for me. So I began to think and look around.
Have you ever thought about trying to find your spouse a replacement for you? I mean, you love them, and want to be with them forever, but you know you can't. You also know that they need someone. There are so many people out there in the world that are like John, People who need someone in their lives. I saw that I had my work cut out for me.
At first I tried some close friends. That was a mistake. Huge. John caught on what I was doing and read me the riot act. In no uncertain terms he told me he loved me and I was the only woman he'd ever love. I knew that from then on I'd have to look elsewhere for a replacement for me. That's when I thought of using an escort.
I thought an escort would be higher class and maybe safer for my husband. I had thought about a hooker from 'that' part of town, but one day as I drove past some I realized that John would never buy into any of them having some kind of connection with me. So, I gave up on using a hooker.
Then I watched a movie one night and realized that I needed to get an escort or call girl. Someone who was discreet, not so flagrantly open about what they did. Someone who had class and could pull off the acting job that would be required of them. I began to call around while John was at work, and found a couple of places. I interviewed more than a few escorts before finally finding one I thought would be able to work out.
Samantha is a very beautiful woman. Far more beautiful than I, and she also has a body to die for too. Of course, she hadn't had three kids and a full life of raising those kids and a husband either...but still, I wanted someone like her in looks at least, for my husband. He deserved only the best.
Our interview was interesting in that she was the first one to question my whole idea openly and honestly. I had not gotten to the part about the money with the others as most of them had dismissed me right away. I paid them for the time they had spent and moved on. I'm sure they figured I was 'off' by quite a bit.
Samantha on the other hand listened and then asked questions. As we went on I realized that she was probably my best bet. She was thoughtful, respectful, and I could sense a need in her too. She wanted to be loved. I decided to play on that feeling, and rope her into my plan. The more I got to know her the more I knew she was the perfect choice. I also got to thinking that she was going to do this for me, not just for the money as she often threw in my face.
Am I nuts? Maybe, maybe not. I love John so much though, and I want to be sure he has a good life after I am gone. So, my plan had been worked out between Samantha and I, and it was running now. In some ways I was excited. After all, I was going to get to choose the woman that would be in my husband's life, for better or worse now.
"Honey, I heard from an old college friend today. She's in town and wants to meet up with me."
"Oh yeah? That's great Becky. How long is your friend in town for anyway?"
"I'm not sure. She's on a buying trip right now, and could be here for a week or more. She really wants to spend some time with me, catch up on old times and all that you know."
"Well, you know that she's welcome to stay here with us if she wants. We have three empty bedrooms upstairs and the guest room down here."
"Thank you John. You are a wonderful husband, do you know that?"
"Oh Becky, I just want...I mean...You need to have your friends close now...I..."
"I know John. This is all hard for both of us. I'm worried about you too you big lunk. I worry that you'll just sit around and rust after I...I'm...gone."
"You don't worry about that Becky. I'll be okay. I promise."
I could see it in his eyes. He was lying through his teeth. I had seen him looking over papers and things, working out who gets what, so I knew he had some plan to end his life shortly after I died. Why else would he be going through the wills that we just had redone two months ago? Why else spend great amounts of time writing things down for the kids?
"John, you have to promise me, you will find someone else after I'm...gone."
"Becky, no. I don't want to go into conversation again. I'll be fine. I promise."
"No, you won't John. I know you. I know what you're planning to do too. You can't fool me. I've been your wife for too long to not see that you are thinking of doing something very, very wrong. You have to promise me on your honor that you will survive and live on after I'm gone. You will find someone else."
"Rebecca, I am not interested in anyone else. I have you and you're all I've ever needed."
"Yeah? Well I'm about to leave your ass. I'll be gone and you won't have me. You need someone in your life John. You have a lot of years to live yet, and you will have grandkids soon too. I want you to promise me you will try John."
"Rebecca..."
"DON'T REBECCA ME BUSTER. You WILL find someone else. You WILL or I'll...I'll...I'll come back an haunt you for the rest of your life."
"Becky...please."
"Promise me John."
"Becky...I don't want anyone else."
"I know that John. I also know you NEED someone. You NEED someone in your life. PROMISE ME."
"Okay...I promise."
"Louder...I didn't hear you."
"I PROMISE. ALLRIGHT...HAPPY NOW?"
"Don't get mad honey. I do love you. I am only looking out for you. I need you to be there for our grandkids one day. I need you to be there for our kids when they need us some day. Can't you see I am worried about you John?"
"I know...I'm sorry Becky. It's just that you...leaving like this...it's hard on me. I know that's a selfish thing to say since you're the one that's dying, but..."
"John, I know your heart. I know your mind. You're worrying me so much. I want you to be happy after I'm gone. You need to start over and that is never easy, but I want you to. Please? For...me?"
