The Connection - Chapter 3
They slept, rising only to eat enough to sustain life. They were both drained, emotionally, physically and sexually drained. So, it was the following morning before their lives resumed in any sense of normality. Breakfast was a joint effort as Marge pitched in with a comfortable manner and Alan was surprised how easy everything fit together. Their conversation came easy as well as each shared where they had come from and what led them to the place they were in their lives. They talked about interests and activities, family and other expectations. Each had been in relationships that were restricting and had found it necessary to try to conceal their true nature. Having been released from those situations both vowed never to be restricted again. Alan had longed for an outlet to release his sexual nature for many years. That's what led him to create the profile that had attracted Marge. And Marge had also been searching to find someone who would not just accept her but someone who could truly lead her without taking advantage of her. Alan assured her that he understood exactly what she was saying and that he would not only lead her, and protect her, but he would worship her. When she wished to explore her submissive nature, she would be free to do so. But he also explained that his desire was not to be a true dominant. Instead, he wanted their relationship to be on an equal level of leader and follower. It was important, he told her, that she understand that he was a true "pleaser". He explained to Marge that being a "pleaser" meant that a large part of his pleasure and arousal came from serving and being a part of her pleasure. They each openly confessed to being loners. Neither had any family that engaged in any significant way in their lives. And since they were retired and both were divorced they had not been successful in maintaining any very close friendships either.
"Greg, the bartender you met at "The Place" is an old friend, the oldest and closest. He's the only one who is aware of my..... nature." Alan shared with a slight twinkle in his eyes. "We were both very inquisitive pre-adolescents, both very much into exploration, if you know what I mean." He was quite sure Marge knew exactly what he meant.
"And did you explore together?" Marge inquired.
"You mean did we ever suck each other off?" he asked laughingly but didn't wait for an answer. "No, not that far. Mostly mutual masturbation and sharing fantasies about what we would read in erotic literature. There wasn't any internet back then, remember. Later on we shared some swinger party experiences together."
"Mmmm. I'm afraid I went farther than that. I have a friend, Joyce, who lives in Ohio. We shared an apartment for a couple years before we were married. We weren't exactly knockouts, so we sometimes struggled to get dates on any regular basis. So, after experiencing sex, we were both so horny all the time we inevitably ended up in bed together. It was great. We experimented with most everything two women could do together." He could tell she had fond memories of her friend.
"Have you kept in touch over the years?"
"Enough to know where each is living. And that each of us is divorced, and alone." She replied.
"Then came marriage to George?" he asked, trying to lead the conversation.
"Joyce and I came to understand that we would have to accept taming down our desires if we were to have a significant relationship. So, that's what we did and I met George and Joyce met Frank."
"You were together twenty years, right? Something must have worked."
"We were happy, I think. But we both, Joyce and I, came to realize that the sacrifice was too much. If we had to deny who we were to be happy, was it real happiness? Anyway, we each divorced on good terms. George and I remained friends until his death. Joyce had a daughter though, so it was a bit contentious for her."
"Anne and I came to the same conclusion. She was perceptive enough to know I needed more but trying to be something she wasn't would not have been the answer. We tried to remain friends but a few dates with her friends were awkward, so I retreated. Then the endless attempts at swinging began. I guess it was hopeless optimism that kept me trying."
"I have tried to connect with men,but I was always hesitant to allow myself the freedom to be who I truly am inside. I was always afraid that they would assume that my erotic, extreme nature gave them the right to take advantage of me. Some of them seemed to enjoy it when I let myself go but then they would be disgusted by my actions. It left me feeling conflicted about myself."
"I know exactly what you're talking about. I was never very good at reading signs that meant whether to stop or go farther. It was frustrating. Often, I misread them and would let go only to find the same reaction. So, here we are. It seems that we are two perverts in a pod." He smiled at her and she smiled back at him."
"I guess we are just too filthy dirty perverts, too dirty for anyone else!" Marge added. "Just to be certain that you understand, that doesn't scare me, or disgust me. It makes me wet with excitement and arousal!" Marge said in a sultry voice and Alan noticed her hand move between her legs. As she reached her vulva, covered only by her cotton panties, he could see her wetness. Realizing he was watching her she opened her legs to give him a better look as she dragged her finger up through the camel toe slit and rolled her eyes back in her head with a groan of pure lust and pleasure.
"Are you ready again?" he asked her.
Marge opened her eyes and looked at him. Her expression was one of vulnerability. "I am and will always be ready, Alan. I really can never get enough. I love it and I crave it. You understand that, don't you?" she asked him.
"yes, I do." He assured her. "And I've been looking for you my entire adult life." He said with a smile.
"I would like to begin to establish some base facts that we can agree so that we will both have absolute confidence in knowing each other's needs. Would you like that?"
"Very much, Alan."
"Let me begin by making some statements of fact and then if you'd like you can do the same. Alright?" he began. Marge nodded enthusiastically. "Good. First of all any relationship must be based on mutual respect and I believe we have that covered. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes."
"Second. I want you to know that I find you extremely attractive. I don't want you to think that sex is the only thing that draws me to you. Do you understand that?"
"Oh, Alan. I am far from the "9" I used to be. My legs and hips are large and my ass is fat. My breasts are beginning to sag and I have 'love handles' too."
"Stop!" Alan interrupted her. "You're an intelligent woman. One who knows who you are and what you want. Surely you don't allow yourself to be drawn in to all that. Those things are external. They are simply conditions that we have little control over. I am attracted to the you on the inside."
"But there is a lot we don't know about each other." she protested.
"But we will learn, Marge, together." He countered. "Our intent to be together is based on a mutual respect for individualism. We can take it slowly, always free to be ourselves. I am certain there will be things that we discover that we are not thrilled about with each other. But 'this', this connection that we have discovered will always be the thing that overcomes any of those problems."
"I warn you, Alan. I have a very dirty, nasty, filthy mind. The things that arouse me have turned off many others."
"Yes, you do. And that attracts me to you even more. You must always know that. While I recognize that in some social situations, we need to maintain discretion, we can share a knowledge that just beneath the surface of conformity there is a mutual depravity that is always alive, just waiting to be set free. I am just like you."
"Where do we go from here, Alan?" Marge asked him with a serious look. "Others will say that it's foolish to talk of a permanent relationship after only a couple of days. Even though we have no immediate families to worry about we do have friends and other people in our lives."
"Are you worried about their opinions, Marge?" he asked. "Or are YOU having second thoughts?"
