The Coldwife

Well, the time had finally arrived. I had contemplated taking this step for several months. I felt like I was volunteering to have a colonoscopy with no anesthesia. Why would anyone subject themselves to bearing their soul and life history and who knows what else to an unknown counselor? But I still love my wife and despite things getting increasingly frustrating for months -- actually a few years, I cared for her deeply, she was a fantastic mom, a good friend, and great partner in family and life activities. What she wasn't, or at least wasn't expressing, was any interest in an intimate relationship or even a just physical sexual relationship.

Sure, she said she loved me, and she truly seemed to care, but the missing ingredient, any interest in intimacy or sex, was virtually nonexistent. Sure, I would get a hug when I came from work and a kiss when coming or going, particularly if the kids or any family was around. Sex was tolerated about once a month or so usually after a fair amount of pestering and never with any enthusiasm.

At 37 years old I felt that was about 30 years too young to be relegated to boring and infrequent intimacy. In spite of the risks and pain, I decided I wasn't willing to tolerate living like that. I was well aware of the consequences and that options were limited. I wasn't really inclined to seek out an affair and recognized that a divorce would be painful for everyone involved, family, friends, and kids. Of course, I had talked to Janet, my wife, on numerous occasions but it had not helped. She didn't seem to understand how important it was. Evidently her parents has a similar relationship and she thought is was just fine and I should just adjust.

And that led to me sitting in the waiting room for my appointment with the counselor. She was a woman counselor, with lots of credential initials after her name and some positive reviews on the web. At $250 per hour, I was hoping she would be both quick and effective. I will give her credit for being thorough, I had spent no less than 4 hours discreetly completing a comprehensive set of questionnaires.

Finally, the office assistant ushered me into her office offering a coffee or a cola for what was scheduled as a 90 minute, or from my perspective, a $370 meeting and the investment of 2 hours of personal leave time. Well at least she had looked at the questionnaires as she said, "Pleased to meet you Mr. Hanson, I understand you're here for some help with your hotwife problem." Then she glanced at her questionnaire, cracked a smile, then said, "Correct that - cold wife problem."

I have to give her credit for breaking the ice. I responded, "I wish it was a hotwife problem, if you have any clients with hotwife problems perhaps, we can switch partners. My wife wouldn't even know what a hotwife is."

I took a seat and the interrogation began. Rather than start by having me explain the situation she wanted to focus on my medical history first. Decent health, about 15 lbs overweight, a pretty decent head of still brown hair, good teeth, not much muscle tone, sleep well, no snoring. The questions began, "Can you run a 5K?

"About 3K worth and I'd make it to the end but not running."

The next question surprised me. "How big is your cock?" She asked.

I paused. She smiled and said, "Relax, the questions are going to get a lot worse."

I recovered but probably blushed. "6 1/2 inches plus or minus 1/2 an inch depending upon who's asking?

She smiled. "Good comeback. Do you share that wit and sense of humor with your wife?

I smiled back. "I used to, perhaps not so much anymore."

"Tell me about your wife." she said.

"35 years old, brunette with shoulder length hair, 5 foot 7 inches tall, 135 lbs, very nicely placed, good health."

"Show me a picture." She asked.

I pulled up a picture on my phone and showed her a picture of our two kids 8 and 10, then showed her a picture of Janet.

"Ohh she's very attractive. No wonder you haven't given up on her just yet. Tell me about her figure."

"She's got a good figure, 36-C bust, I'm guessing about a 25 inch waist now, and probably 37 inch hips. She wears a size 8-10 slacks." I reported.

"Tell me about her breasts? Firm or flabby? Nice nipples? Shaved, trimmed or shaggy pussy?" She asked.

"Firm with nicely proportioned areolas and nipples. Ranges between shaggy and trimmed depending upon the season. She used to trim up for swimsuit season." "But what does that have to do with our meeting?"

"Trust me, we'll get to that." She responded.

Then we talked about the kids, my job, her job, and our financial situation. The 90 minutes had stretched to two hours. She said, come back at the same time in two weeks, lose 5 lbs. and be able to run at least 4K of that 5K distance. Take your wife to dinner at that new restaurant downtown but do not initiate any romantic actions."

It was certainly not what I expected. I wasn't sure where this was headed. I'd been hoping to get right down to business on the relationship issues and wasn't too happy with the two-week delay to the next meeting. But she certainly intrigued me.

I was proud of myself when I returned two weeks later. I was 6 lbs. lighter and yes, I could run 4K. And to her credit, she hadn't billed me for the full two hours, but that new restaurant visit set me back more than the cost of 30 minutes of her time. But it was a nice experience, and I think Janet was a little surprised when I didn't try and cash in my dinner gesture for a romp in the sack.

Dr. Carlson greeted me with a smile and quickly said, "I see you followed my instructions you look good. Take a seat we have a lot to do."

"Lost 6 lbs, up to 4K, and dinner was good, thanks for the recommendation." I reported as it took my seat and a cola from her assistant.

"Tell me about your love life, no scratch that, tell me about your sex life."

"There isn't much to tell that's why I'm seeing you."

"No, go back to the beginning. How many women have you dated, when did you first have sex, how many women have you had sexual relationships with? Any guys? Any group sex? Any affairs? I want the details."

"Wow. I dated quite a bit in high school, quite a bit of making out and necking. I feasted on a handful of boobs and ended up with a wet spot on my jeans more than a few times. But I graduated in the top 10% of the class with my virginity intact. That wasn't necessarily a goal but I was careful and so were most of the women I was attracted to."

"College was a little different. A rather aggressive young woman and I managed to lose our virginity together during my first semester. We had fun for several months; it turns out she liked sex a lot. I liked her aggressiveness and free spirit, maybe I got spoiled. One night another guy she knew showed up when we were making out at her place. We both ended up fucking her till we were all exhausted."

"You didn't mind sharing? Were you jealous?

"It was exciting. Kind of entertaining as we each took turns trying to see who could get her most excited. That's the night I learned what face fucking really was."

"So what happened, that woman wasn't Janet?"

"Oh no, it turns out she liked sex so much that her grades started declining and she was lying about seeing guys behind my back. The dishonesty didn't work for me, and I knew we weren't meant to be long term partners, so we parted ways."

"For the next 18 months I dated occasionally but mostly focused on my studies. I did have a couple of one-night stands, my first time playing with a set of double D's and one hot little Asian woman that had never experienced a nice sized American cock. Then I met Janet."

"So tell me about why you were attracted to Janet and how your romantic relationship developed."

"I met her in class. I thought she was beautiful, and I was immediately attracted to her. Something about her curves and her smile that I found hard to resist. It was actually a few months till we started going out. I subsequently learned that she had broken up with a boyfriend she'd been dating for three years since high school. From what I can recall, and I didn't press her on it, I think they had been sexually active for about a year. A sorority friend hinted that she had also gotten drunk and was fucked, maybe by a few guys, at a fraternity party her freshman year but probably didn't even remember it. Other than that, her experience was modest. It seems the boyfriend was pretty submissive and treated her like a Princess. The breakup seemed to be about religion and kids and careers. He was from a family that was friends of her parents, and I think all the parents assumed they would be married.

We dated several times before things heated up. I still remember the first time I got a hold of her beautiful breasts. We had dated 6 months before we had sex."

"Who initiated the sex?" The counselor asked.

"I did but only after asking her and getting her permission and it certainly wasn't the first time I asked. She liked it. I think I was a little bit bigger both physically and in terms of cock size than her prior boyfriend. I was very gentle and sensitive to her feelings. We were double protected on birth control as she was on the pill, and I wore a condom. The third time we had sex I ravished her pussy with my lips and teeth giving her clit lots of attention. When I replaced my tongue with my cock and started laying into her, she had what I think was her first ever orgasm. After that she seemed much more interested in having sex. She scheduled our dates, study time, and hanging out time such that we would have plenty of time for a romp in the sack before returning to our respective rooms for sleep before classes. We had some weekend sleepovers, and it wasn't uncommon to go two or three rounds. I would say that about one-third of the time Janet was the instigator. Lately that's only occurred on my birthday."

The counselor looked at her watch, grinned at me then said we would meet in two weeks or as soon as I could run a 5K without stopping. She dictated a set of questions she wanted me to think about for our next meeting. "Does Janet give blow jobs or did she? You referenced faced fucking - have you ever faced fucked Janet? Have you ever fucked Janet in public or where somebody could see you? Have you ever shared her with anyone? Any spanking? Shop for sex toys together? Do you think she's ever had an affair or a fling since you started dating? What's your favorite position? Do you play with sex toys? Have you tried bondage? Have you cum on her face or her breasts? Anal? Does she have any special lingerie she wears to let you know she's in the mood? Have you ever asked her to shave her pussy, or has she asked you to shave your pubic hair? Does she get horny when she drinks? Have you gotten her high on marijuana or used any other drugs? Have you shared any fantasies? Do you know what kind of guys and behaviors she thinks are most exciting? Does her work, kids, cycle timing, or other things affect her attitude about having sex? Do you masturbate, or rather tell me about how much, when, where and with what stimulus? Same question about Janet to the best of your knowledge. Do you ever watch porn together? Been to a strip club or nude beach?

Then another series of questions. "Has Janet had any health issues that might affect her physically or emotionally that could impact her sex drive? Did her sex drive change any after having kids? Has she had any life changing events in the past few years? Are there any new people in her life or outside influences? Have any other of her behaviors or relationships changed? How affectionate is she with the kids and her parents and siblings? Do you know anything about the physical relationship between Janet's sister and her husband?"

"And, before our next meeting take your family to the beach and playfully grab Janet, throw her over your shoulder and take her and deposit her in the water ignoring her if she squeals or protests. Watch her reactions and report back."

I left the with my head spinning. I was intrigued with her approach -- not too much attention on the feelings yet but seeming to want to find out about the sexual aspects. Given I had indicated that was the critical issues in my going to see her I guess it made sense but I sure wasn't anticipating the third degree on my whole history. For some reason I was finding it easier to be quite frank and descriptive with her. I was puzzled by the beach trip aspect.

A work conflict meant the next meeting was three weeks later. I had had a lot of time to think about the questions. I dictated an extensive set of notes addressing the key questions and send them to her so as to not delay our meetings longer than necessary. Over the past several months I had explored all the actions that would be necessary if I was to propose a divorce. I was anxious to do something, anything, to resolve this issue.

I reported to Dr. Hanson and reported the good news was that now I could handle a full 5K with improving times and my weight was down 11 pounds.

"Good, and what else do you have to report?" she asked.

"A few things seem to be clear; the status quo is not acceptable, and my love life was pretty boring even before the past few years."

"Congrats on the weight loss progress. Now tell me about the past three weeks and if you made a trip to the beach."

Well, it almost didn't happen. I've been out of town quite a bit, but I was around last Sunday. It rained all morning but then the sun came out, so I told everybody we were going to go for a picnic and swim at Connors point beach. Needless to say, the kids were excited. I decided we would stop and pick up a bucket of chicken for a picnic dinner. Janet seemed somewhat indifferent and mentioned that the water would likely be cool still this time of year. We had a delightful picnic lunch then changed into our suits to go down to the water's edge. As it turned out, Janet didn't even bring her suit, not wanting to get in the cool water. As she and I sat on the beach the kids waded in the water and built sandcastles. I went down to spend time with the kids. I remembered your comment about throwing Janet in the water. I asked my daughter to have mommy come down to the water's edge to see her castle. When Janet got there, I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder. She squealed and squirmed and protested loudly but the kids were laughing and cheering so loud I was motivated to complete my assignment. I tossed Janet down with a rather spectacular splash in hip deep water. To say she was stunned was an understatement. Her white blouse and shorts clung to her body in what I had to admit was a very appealing manner. Her attempts to express dismay and chastise me were interrupted as the kids were now taking great pleasure in laughing and splashing her.

A frantic water fight continued for several minutes until the kids retreated towards shore. When the splashing finally stopped Janet had a playful smile and said, "I hope you brought plenty of towels since I will be riding home in soaked clothes, let's head to shore so I can drip dry a little."

I smiled at Janet and told her I couldn't go to shallow water for a while until she tucked things in and buttoned her blouse back up.

Janet was momentarily curious then realized in the water fight several buttons had come undone and her bared shear bra did little to cover an exposed breast. The chilly water had her nipples in full salute mode.

Janet quickly gasped and buttoned her blouse.

I noted, "As a few guys on the beach have been watching and will be anxious to watch to see your panty lines and soaked white shorts when you head to shore too."

Janet said she would get her revenge, but it was with the playful tone that I had fallen in love with years ago.

"And what happened when you got home or later that night?" Dr Hanson asked.

Unfortunately, nothing. It was Sunday night, so it was prep time for work and school and when I reached for her in bed she gently moved my hand and said, "Not tonight."

"And how did you feel?" Dr Hanson asked.

"Frustrated, rejected, horny, and mad."

"What would you liked to have done?" She asked.

"Thoughts of leaving crossed my mind as did thoughts of throwing her over the side of the bed and screwing the daylight out of her."

But what did you actually do? Let me guess, you slipped out of bed, left the room, went and watched some porn and masturbated?" The doctor questioned.

My look revealed the truth, and I had a newfound respect for her insight. She continued the questions. "What type of porn did you watch?

"I watched a MILF being driven to multiple orgasms by her husband and two other guys."

"And did you like it? Did you get your relief? she asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Did you wish it was you and your wife?"

"Yes."

The doctor continued. "Does your wife know you watch porn? How would she feel about your interests?"

"She does know but perhaps not the extent or types. She would claim it is outrageous but if she let herself go a little bit, I think she would enjoy it a lot if she felt safe. I would certainly never do anything to hurt her. I want her to enjoy and look forward to sex. Her body likes sex and responds, it's her mind that seems to have a block."

I felt some relief as everything was out in the open now.

The doctor paused, "I read over your answers to my questions, and I have some recommendations. First, you need to give up watching porn alone -- if you want to watch it with Janet that is fine. You are using porn as an outlet that allows you to tolerate the current situation, and it may be setting unrealistic expectations. That has to come to an immediate end. You are middle aged, and you have a beautiful wife. If you have desires, you and your wife need to work out a mutually agreeable plan. This change starts today. Second, your wife seems spoiled and perhaps self-centered. You need to be the man in the house. Your wife doesn't get to make all the decisions. Third, make sex fun. Try new things, get your wife some sexy cloths, have some new experiences. Go new places, try new positions, get in even better shape, let her know you are attracted to her and love her dearly. Also remind her that you are attractive as well. You deserve some affection and hint very subtly that you are going to get it one way or the other. Report back in 90 days."

I left the 90-minute appointment 60 minutes early in something of a daze as I was thinking about her advice. I hopped in the car and headed to the office. It was five days to our 12th anniversary, and I had already bought Janet a framed painting she had wanted but I decided I was going to get something for her that I wanted so I pulled into a mall and headed for a lingerie store. Janet had never worn a corset and had poo pooed some prior suggestions. Thirty minutes later I had a beautiful black corset, matching thong panties, and lace topped seamed stockings professionally gift wrapped. A test of the new strategy would be to get Janet to actually wear the new items.

The next night I had a dream. Two old college dorm mates were in town on a business trip, and I invited them over to the house for drinks and some grilled steaks. I hadn't seen them in 10 years, so it was fun getting reacquainted. They had never met Janet but were quickly engaged in conversation. I knew it was a dream because Janet was in a flirty playful mood. Lots of drinks and flirting as the guys were very taken with Janet. Janet was inquiring as to why two handsome successful professionals were both single. Charles was a couple of years divorced and busy running his business and helping parent three kids. Joe claimed to have just not found the right woman yet.

Janet hinted. "Something must be wrong if you handsome successful guys can't land a partner."

Charles was first to respond. "I can provide you references or give you a demonstration that indeed there is no performance problem."