How can a woman who loves me not see how unhappy she is making me? It's not what she was doing that was making me so unhappy, it's because she just didn't seem to care. If she had noticed how unhappy I was, perhaps she would have cared, because she said she loved me.
How did I know she was doing something that was making me so unhappy? Just two pieces of seemingly unconnected bits of information. I heard the first bit of information two month ago when I went with my wife, Pamela by the way, to her firms B.B.Q. She wasn't near me when I heard it.
I heard the second bit of information a month ago, at a friend's B.B.Q. We were standing, arm in arm, listening to a group conversation. Just friends having a casual chat. When we head this bit of information we looked at each other and almost said in unison, "I can't believe that." Then I bent down and kissed her. Can you believe that, I actually kissed her. Well just a peck, really.
It was when I went to get us both another drink that the two pieces of information came together in my head. Quite slowly, actually, perhaps because it seemed so unlikely. By the time I had finished my drink, I knew it was true. Pamela, my beautiful, thirty-nine-year-old wife and mother, was a fornicator.
Where did fornicator come from? I don't know. Anyway, I knew, with absolute, unequivocal certainty, that my wife, after seventeen years of marriage, was fornicating. I know, I've said it again. She had been for six months. I even knew who she was fornicating with. Yes, I like the word fornicating. Much better than fucking.
That was all a month ago and I still don't know what to do about it. You see, I love her. It's in my blood, she's just so much a part of me. And that is what is making me so unhappy. I thought I was just as an important a part of her.
So what do I do? Do I go after Pamela, accuse her outright? Then, listen to all the crap she will spew at me. Sorry, I'm getting angry. I hate the idea of doing that, and having to listen to all her excuses. No, that's not it. I'm terrified that she will just tell me it's over between us and she loves Brian Penton.
Brian Penton and my wife. They has been fornicating for the last six moths. Pamela had told me about him. He was at the office B.B.Q. I'd talked to him. I'd even thanked him for helping my wife with her promotion. I thanked Brian Penton for fucking my wife. I thanked him.
No, I won't get angry. No good getting angry. I just need another pint. The barman has caught my gesture. "Another one, please," I tell him and slap money on the bar. God, that's good. Make it last. You're not a drinker, I tell myself. I never have been, half pints of lager are my drink, not pints of real ale.
Brian Penton, I know a bit about him now. Wasn't difficult finding out he was married. His second time and two kids with his new wife. Lived in a posh part of town in a very nice house. The big question I hadn't got an answer for, not yet, why my wife. Another big, big question. How had he seduced her. He must have, mustn't he. Why would my wife want to seduce him? My God, he was forty-seven, balding, and he had a big gut. He wasn't even as tall as Pamela.
That hurt, that was a big, big blow to my ego. I'm only forty-one, I didn't have a gut, wasn't going bald, in fact I had a full head of wavy hair, and I was five-foot nine. No, no, she would never have seduced Brian Penton.
That's three pints I've nearly drunk. Have to make this one last, mustn't get another one, can't go home drunk, can I. I have to be sober when Pamela comes back from another evening fornicating with Brian Penton. Her philosophy group, she calls it.
Oh God, what do I do?
I got home before Pamela, with just enough time to make a coffee. She took one look at me and knew. "George, you've been drinking," she stated. But I still got a kiss on the cheek. Then she was off to the kitchen.
So, you see, no care, no concern about why I had been drinking, which I have never done before. She just didn't care anymore. That's what hurt me so much.
We had a normal weekend. The weather was good, so I did some garden work, Pamela did some housework. We had casual conversations. Had breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Watched some television, had some sex. Yes, we had some sex. It pained me to do it, but I had to keep up appearances.
You see, I had at last formulated a plan. Let's see if you think it will work.
No, wait a minute, perhaps you don't want the same outcome as I do. Oh, I know, you think I should burn the bitch. Yes. No. What, kill the fornicators. No, no, no, I'm not going to jail just because Bill Penton is fucking my wife. Oh God, I hate saying that. No way man.
Have you forgotten what I told you earlier. I love my wife, it's in my blood. I've invested seventeen years in her, got two kids. So, no burning. No killing.
Ok. This is it. First I contact his wife, Muriel. Tell her what her husband has been doing to my wife for the last six months. Now, the difficult part. Persuade her to hold off divorcing him, which I'm sure she'll want to do, until I've had my justified retribution. Isn't that a nice word, retribution. Got a nice ring to it as you slowly roll it of your tongue.
Well, what do you think of my plan? Good, isn't it?
What. That's not a plan. Of course it is. Oh, I see. You want to know what my revenge is going to be? Well, yes well, I'm still working on that.
Another Monday and I'm still working on my revenge. You've got some ideas? No, I'm not burning or killing anyone, that's final. Take him to the cleaners. Oh, you mean financially. How do I do that? I'm just a policeman, well a station sergeant actually. Have I got a mate on the drug squad? Twenty years a copper, of course I know people on the drug squad. I see, get him convicted for drug dealing. That would work, he certainly couldn't fuck my wife from behind bars. Sorry I said fuck, such a crude word. That would certainly stop their fornicating. Hey, that way, his wife would get everything without him being able to contest it.
Now I had a plan and I wouldn't even have to contact his wife. All I had to was decide my best contact in the drug squad.
Then, over dinner, my beautiful, beloved, fornicating wife told me she was going away for a few days. There was a top professor of philosophy giving a public lecture and her group were all going. Because it was at a university over two hundred miles away, they we leaving by coach, midday on the Friday. A week on Friday. There was a cocktail reception that evening. The lecture was on the Saturday, then an evening meal. Then they would be coming back on the Sunday.
I checked with the university. There was a professor giving a lecture that Saturday and groups of students, as they called them, were coming from all over the country.
Did I believe her? Like hell I did. Again, she just didn't see how unhappy I was, because all I got was a quick, "thank you," and a kiss on the cheek when I didn't object to her going. What the hell has Bill Penton got that I haven't? Perhaps I should kill the bastard after all.
The next morning the anger was still with me. For seventeen years I had loved and cared for my wife. Then Penton comes along and in six months I'm nothing. Just six months. Perhaps I'm wasting my time with all this planning and scheming. Perhaps I should just burn the bitch. I had the evidence of their fornicating. Oh God, why did I love her so much.