"I figured as much. Not to worry, I read him the riot act. Listen, you're not planning to work the party yourself, are you Wen?" Kim asked.
"No," Wendy replied. "I will keep an eye on things, but I want to be able to have fun, too. I am looking forward to a Saturday off for a change. I feel like I've been working weekends at the restaurant since I was born."
"Aw, baby, that's terrible. I will make sure you have a good time at the party. You should bring an overnight bag, just in case. I plan to have an 'after party' when the kids all go home, if you know what I mean."
Wendy knew exactly what Kim meant. Though their different schedules didn't allow them to hang out together very often, Kim kept no secrets from Wendy. Kim's plans for an after party were just what Wendy was hoping for, and she particularly wanted to spend some time with Rick if she could.
Kim finalized things with Wendy, then told her she would see her soon and hung up.
Kim reflected on Wendy's strange arrangement with Alan. She thought back to the beginning of Wendy and Alan's relationship, over ten years earlier. They had married young, right after Wendy graduated from college. Kim was Wendy's roommate in college, and met Alan when Rick, who was just dating Kim at the time, introduced them.
Wendy and Alan had a child together less than a year after they married, a boy they named Leonardo. Wendy became the primary breadwinner in the family because Alan preferred to freelance with his art projects. He was very talented, but his lack of drive meant that his income was pretty meager. After five years, they divorced and Wendy moved out with their son, Leo and got an apartment.
She got into working in restaurants and Kim lost track of her because of her schedule. Alan started taking care of the boy because Wendy was working crazy hours six nights a week, and hanging out with the people she worked with after the restaurant closed. A lot of the restaurant workers were hard partiers, and Wendy started drinking with them at after hours clubs almost every night after work. Then she met a black guy who was managing a couple of local nightclubs, and started having an affair with him. He got her into pills, and then harder drugs. Wendy became disorganized and unreliable from the effects of the drugs, and forgot to take her birth control pills. Wendy found herself pregnant.
Not long after that, Wendy showed up on Kim's doorstep one evening looking like hell. Kim sat up all night with Wendy and they both cried until they were exhausted. Kim counseled Wendy to have an abortion, out of concern for how messed up Wendy was and what the stress of having the baby might do to her.
Wendy wouldn't do it. She felt the baby was a wakeup call, and she needed to pay the price for her stupidity. Kim pointed out that having a baby to punish yourself was probably not a good idea, but Wendy's mind was made up. When Alan found out about the baby, he insisted that Wendy move back in with him, so he could look after her and their son while she dealt with the pregnancy and getting straight again. Lacking options, and knowing that she would have to take some time off when the baby was born, Wendy agreed.
Wendy had her daughter, Samantha, seven months later. Samantha was a beautiful little girl with dark skin compared to her blond, fair skinned mother. The guy who fathered the child was married, and had no interest in helping Wendy with her situation. In any case, she had withdrawn from that scene, and came home every night after work so that she could watch the kids the next morning while Alan worked.
For his part, Alan seemed to suddenly flourish. He loved Samanth as much as he did Leo, and started focusing on projects that could bring in enough money to help Wendy support both kids. Alan and Wendy even started attending social events together again. Everyone assumed they were a couple based on outward appearances.
About two months after Samantha was born, Wendy visited Kim with the baby and the two sat talking while Wendy nursed the beautiful little girl. She confided in Kim that since she had moved back in with Alan they got along great, and he doted on both the kids, but there was no romantic spark at all between them. She said she knew he had gone out with other girls after their divorce, and he admitted that he was still seeing one of them. Alan told her that the girl was another artist that he knew.
Wendy said she expressed understanding when he told her this. After all, they were still divorced. She told Alan how much she appreciated him taking her and the kids back, but she realized that they had married too young, started a family too soon, and then found out they had little in common. The pressure of different schedules and social groups was the final element that fractured their relationship, apparently for good.
She said he asked her if she was planning to move out again. Wendy said she would leave it up to him, and asked him if it wasn't affecting his relationship with his girlfriend. Alan shrugged, and said he was not looking for a long term commitment with her anyway. He liked having the kids around, and he pointed out that with their different schedules they would have to shuffle the kids back and forth in order to continue watching them for each other if they lived apart.
Wendy said that after that, she and Alan had sex a couple of times. She thought maybe she owed it to him for being so good to her, and she did still love him as a friend. He seemed distant when they were together, though, and the last time he failed to even get an erection with her. Wendy said she had always been the one to initiate sex in their relationship, so she just stopped pursuing it.
Wendy paused in her recounting of the discussion with Alan, saying, "That's how we find ourselves where we are now; friends living in the same house and raising two kids together, but with no interest in each other sexually."
Kim asked her, "How are you dealing with all of this?"
"When I first moved back, I was so messed up and working so hard to get straight and deal with the pregnancy that it was all that I had the time and energy for. Now that I am feeling better, but Alan is not interested, it is starting to get to me," said Wendy. "I really miss the intimacy that Alan and I used to share, even if I don't feel the same attraction to him anymore."
Kim struggled with what she needed to tell Wendy. She knew that it might damage or even destroy their friendship, and she did not want to lose her best friend.
"Wendy, I have to be honest with you and tell you something," she began. "When you and Alan split up, and you moved out, he got really depressed initially. He would come over and talk to me and Rick, and we could tell he was hurting.
You shouldn't blame yourself for that, though. Even then, he admitted that the two of you made a mistake marrying right out of college. He was more saddened by the fact that he had not accomplished much with himself, and the breakup was kind of the final straw for him.
Rick and I talked about Alan's problems, and Rick told me that, at that point in time, Alan had not been with anyone sexually in months. He joked that Alan had lost his 'mojo' and just needed a woman to convince him that he was still desirable.
I said I could not imagine him feeling that way. You know how attractive I think Alan is with his shaggy blond hair and outgoing personality. Rick was quiet for a minute, then he told me that maybe I could be the one to help Alan get his confidence back. It took me a few minutes to realize what he was implying, but when I did I asked him, 'Are you saying that you want me to sleep with Alan?'
Rick told me that he would only want me to do it if I wanted to do it too. He asked me if I found Alan attractive that way. I admitted that, sure, Alan was a handsome guy, but I was married and couldn't do that. Rick asked me what was standing in my way, if I had his permission and encouragement."
Kim paused, and saw Wendy looking at her with rapt attention as the baby continued to feed.
"When Rick added the word 'encouragement', I was floored. I asked him what he meant. It took Rick a while to find the words, but he finally admitted that he found the thought of me having sex with another man exciting.
I was hurt and confused; I accused him of not loving me anymore and wanting to pawn me off on another man. He wrapped his arms around me and assured me that was not the case. We talked for another two hours. I made him tell me when he realized he felt this way, and he told me that the longer we had been together, the more proud and happy he became from having me as his wife.
He noticed how other men looked at me, and how they responded when I talked to them. He knew that many of them desired me, and for some reason, it made him more excited than jealous. He said he realized that he loved me so much he never wanted me to deny myself any experience that would make give me pleasure.
I told him that I would be afraid of losing him if I did act on his suggestion. What if he became jealous and resentful after the fact, I asked. He said he doubted that would happen, but he understood my concern. Then he proposed something that was so crazy, I actually laughed in his face.
He suggested that the next time Alan came over, he would make an excuse to leave the two of us alone together. He said I could initiate something with Alan, maybe give him a 'thank you' kiss for doing me a favor, and see where it went from there. I could stop the process after a kiss, or make out with Alan for a while and see how it felt to me. Then I could tell him what happened and we could talk about how he felt about it.
I was over being hurt and angry by that point. I did consider telling Rick I thought he needed to see a therapist, but he told me he was so relieved to finally tell me how he felt and have me accept it that I couldn't do that to him."
Wendy put her hand up to stop Kim, "I can see where you are going with this. Just tell me; did you do it with Alan?"
Kim met Wendy's gaze and replied in a quiet voice, "yes."
Wendy sat stock still, thinking, until the baby stopped feeding and started crying. She suddenly stood up and said, "I have to get home. Samantha needs a nap now." Wendy avoided looking Kim in the eye as she bundled the baby into the carrier, and repacked the diaper bag.
