The Birds and the Bees

"Start over. What you said didn't make any sense."

"I don't want to tell it again!... Okay, fine. Take notes this time.

So. I got home... I dunno... around my usual time... five-thirty... six maybe. When I pulled in to the parking lot for our building I saw a red Ford pulling out. I didn't see who was driving."

"But, you said it looked like your parents' car, right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"'k' go on."

"At this point I don't think anything of it. I was just sort of playing back my day at work. I get up to the apartment and as soon as I open the door I feel the cold air blowing through the opening."

"AC was fixed?"

"Yeah. I was relieved at first. My landlord must have finally got off his ass and fixed it, right? Well, that's what I thought. Allie was home. The shower was going. I dropped off my stuff, and went to change out of my work clothes. Sheets are in the wash, I guess, because the bed is stripped. Whatever. It happens. I changed, grabbed a beer and parked on the couch."

"Then Allison came out?"

"I heard the shower turn off. She came out a little while later. She was still a little wet. Her hair was up in a towel and she was wearing another one around her body."

"Go oooon."

"Come on!"

"Tease."

"She came out, smiled at me. Everything seemed normal. I mentioned the AC working. She paused a moment, then said my dad came over and fixed it. I said I thought I saw his car in the parking lot. She said yeah, he just left."

"When did he get there?"

"That's what I'm thinking! Remember, I got that text saying he was going over mid-afternoon like... two or something?"

"And he left after five. How long does it take to fix an AC?"

"Damned if I know. I didn't want to come across too aggressive or she might clam up. I played it cool, said something along the lines of 'oh that's lucky.' She just said 'yeah' or something, then went to change. I was left there, sort of playing over events. Dad was alone with Allie for three hours."

"He ever come by alone before?"

"No. I mean not as far as I know."

"Is he normally the kind of guy to fix things?"

"I mean... yes? More than I am, anyway. But, yeah, alone for three hours, sheets changed, she's showering. It's a little weird. I decided to subtly notice it, not making a big deal about it. She said it was hot with the AC broken, the place smelled, needed a refresher. "

"Makes sense."

"Yeah. So, I dropped it. The night goes on as usual. I was looking for clues. There were no half drunk wine glasses, or my dad's boxes under the bed. It didn't smell like sex, no sign of condoms. So, we're all clear, right?"

"Not necessarily. Wellll... I mean she was in the shower. Could have done it in there. Or maybe they didn't do it at all. What about just oral? Wouldn't be much evidence."

"This isn't helping!"

"Hey, this was your story! You asked me to tell you if you were crazy! Don't shoot the messenger."

"Could you just tell me I'm not crazy then?"

"You wouldn't have told me all this stuff if you didn't believe there was a chance it was true. So, what's got you so spooked."

"I'm getting to that. So, we're getting ready for bed, and I check my email. There's an invoice from Mr. Dhillon..."

"Who?"

"The landlord. He billed us for fixing the AC!"

"How could he have fixed it if you dad fixed it?"

"Right?! That's what I want to know. So, I say 'Huh, weird, we got a bill for fixing the AC', and I show her my phone. There's a long pause where, I guess she's pretending to read it, but I think she's trying to put together an excuse for what happened. Allie says 'Yeah, Mr. Dhillon came by and tried to fix it, but it didn't work.'"

"So then why are you being billed for it?"

"That's what I asked. She said it was working, briefly, but it didn't last. So, that's why my dad had to come over. He technically did the job, so we have to pay him, right? She seemed awfully insistent that I just pay the bill, and move on even though he didn't really fix the problem."

"That's not like her, but it doesn't really prove anything."

"We got talking. I asked if it was weird having my dad over alone. She said no, it was fine. I asked if he behaved himself. She seemed a little surprised I'd ask a question like that. I said, you know how my dad is. He's shameless sometimes. She got a little defensive, said I was being silly, but no, he was on his best behavior. For the most part."

"For the most part?"

"She said he made some comments about her lack of clothing, little flirty things, but nothing that crossed the line. I said good, or I'd have to put him in his place. She laughed a little too much at that. But, apparently he was good. Apparently, she doesn't mind him being a little flirty with her. She made some remark about enjoying the attention. I think it was a jab at me for working so much. I said, sure, but isn't it weird coming from my dad? She said not really."

"Red flag!"

"Right!? So I said, it's a good thing you didn't flirt back. Then she put it back on me. She said, 'What do you think would have happened if I did?' I shrugged. My mouth opened to reply but I couldn't find the words. She said I was blushing. I said something about things would probably escalate. My dad is bad with boundaries, I explained. She got a little mad at me for suggesting she'd do anything inappropriate. I apologized."

"But you think things did escalate, right?"

"Yeah. I think she knew that was what I was thinking about. I tried to deflect the observations, but we ended up circling back to it. I asked if she thought he was handsome and she said yes, but in an old man sort of way. I asked why she didn't flirt back. She said because we're together. I said if she was single, and this was just another man coming to fix the AC would she have flirted back?"

"And?"

"She said I shouldn't asked stupid questions. Why is it a stupid question? Because I shouldn't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to. I gave her a look, but she just rolled her eyes and playfully poked me. 'Come on,' she said, 'It's late. Let's get some sleep.'"

"Wow..."

"So, what do you think?"

"Did they do it? I don't know. I think the better question is, if they did, how would you feel about it?"