THE AWAKENING OF SUE
Chapter 1 Thursday
Sue woke up from a troubled sleep. Turning over she looked at the clock and saw that it was only 4:00 am. She groaned softly so as not to awaken her husband Dave. Thinking to herself, another sleepless night. She was half asleep. She looked at her husband as he lay there sleeping and snoring gently. She felt a certain fondness towards him. He seemed to be so at peace. She wondered why she did not feel that way. She knew that she had been dreaming but could only recall just a fragment of the dream. Usually dreams did not bother her, but lately she found herself wondering about the types of dreams she was having. She softly got out bed and walked to the bathroom. Closing the door and turning on the light, she stared at herself in the mirror. What is happening to me? Why am I not sleeping? Vaguely her thoughts went over what has been going on in her life. There did not seem to be anything that was particularly bothering her.
Yet, something keeps nagging at her consciousness. She had been feeling out of sorts for several days and if she would be honest several months. There was a growing dissatisfaction with her life. As she stared in the mirror at the woman that stared back at her, she noticed changes in her face particularly around her eyes. It was more than just the dark circles from the lack of sleep that was bothering her. She noticed that she was aging and she was not sure that she was ready to be “old.” Sue recalled her birthday when she turned 47. She thought at that time that maybe her being close to 50 was beginning to bother her. This year she and Dave had celebrated being married 27 years. Sue felt that was quite the achievement in this day and age. She did not regret marrying Dave but wondered at times, what it might have been like if she had waited for a while to get married. They had only been married two years when she became pregnant with Sam. Now Sam was 25, married and expecting his first child in three months. Sue was not sure that she was ready to become a grandmother. She loved her daughter-in-law, Nancy. Yet, the idea that it was not that long ago that the children she raised left home and she had not had time to adjust to their leaving. Her daughter, Carrie, was 20 and attending the state college. Maybe the idea that her daughter was the same age that she was when she got married also contributed to her feelings.
She continued to look in the mirror. Thinking to herself that she was not so bad looking for her age. She had put on some weight over the years with the childbirths but kept her muscle tone through diet and exercise. She made a point of doing weight lifting and aerobic exercise at least three times a week. The major difference that came with children was that her breasts were larger than before birth. She remembered that she thought that her breasts were unusually small, two eggs busted. After Sam was born, she marveled at the idea of having breasts that were noticeable. Dave never complained about her breast size but she noticed that he paid a lot more attention to her after the children were born.
She thought about the relationship she had with Dave. She had met him when he was 18 and she was 17. She had dated some before she met Dave but there was nothing serious. When she first met Dave, there was something special about him. She knew that this was the relationship for her without a doubt. Dave was quiet and steady. She felt comfortable when she was with him. He was the smartest person in school and she knew that he would be successful no matter what he chose to do. While dating they both felt it was important to not “go all the way” until they were married. They both had grown up in families that were conservative. Sue was an only child while Dave had a younger brother. Sue thought the differences that occurred between siblings. Cliff, Dave’s younger brother, was completely different from Dave. He was one that could have done well in school but never made the effort. He had been married twice and neither marriage lasted long. Currently he was single and dating someone 10 years younger than him. Sue felt that it was true with her own children. Sam was conservative, hard working, and reliable. Carrie on the other hand seemed more into having fun and showed no signs of settling down. Sam had majored in business and currently was working as a junior executive at a large company. Carrie was majoring in Art with no idea of what she wants to do. Sue was glad that Carrie was not ready to get married until she was able to commit herself.
As she stared into the mirror, she wondered how quickly time seems to go. It seemed only yesterday that she was young and naïve and yet almost a half of a century has gone by since her birth. She remembered when she and Dave had first started to live together. It was awkward at first. There were initially some sexual problems. Sue was a virgin when she got married and was not sure what to expect when her wedding night came. She had hoped that Dave knew more about what to do so he could teach her. Unfortunately, he was as unsure of himself as she was. The first night was a disaster. After a period, they became more comfortable with one another. Lately, their sex life was fairly routine and not very often. Sue attributed that to the fact that Dave had just recently started his own consulting firm with Bill a former co-worker. Dave had been working at a prestigious firm in management development. The CEO approached Dave about taking an early retirement, as Dave was 50. He explained to Dave that this would give Dave time to be on his own as he certainly was talented. The CEO wanted to downsize the corporation and would spin off to Dave the portion of the agency that dealt with management consulting and strategic planning. Dave had been feeling somewhat frustrated before the talk and was quite excited with the prospect of this new challenge. He asked Bill who was part of the agency that dealt directly with client recruitment if he would come with him and Bill agreed.
Dave and Bill were a natural. Dave had the expertise in planning and management. Bill was talented in recruitment. They both started with several former clients from the agency and through their work and word of mouth were becoming quite successful. Dave was 52 and Bill was 45. They recently added staff to their organization to help take some of the responsibility off them. Yet, they felt it was important to have a personal relationship with their clients. This past year had been a challenging year as they experienced some major growth. Both Dave and Bill were feeling the pressure. They recently received a request to help develop a management plan for a new resort in Cancun. They jumped at the opportunity and decided to take their wives with them and spend some extra time on the beach. Sue was looking forward to having some time away from the cold gray winter days. She was hoping that she and Dave would have some time together to have a romantic interlude.
She was so deep in thought that she did not hear Dave come up to her. She jumped and flinched when he reached out to touch her. “I didn’t hear you come in the bathroom,” she said as she regained her composure.
“I noticed that you were not in bed and saw the light on. I thought I would come and find out how you were feeling.”
“It was just one of those nights that I couldn’t stay asleep. I didn’t want to wake you so I came in here and was thinking about our trip coming up. I am looking forward to us getting away. It seems that things have been so hectic that we haven’t had time to even cuddle let alone talk to one another.”