A big thank you to my friend Randi, for her fabulous editing and support.
It's always great to have the best in your corner.
*****
"Stop it Harly, you're starting to piss me off. I said I don't want to go. If you don't want to tell her, I will."
"Ahh, C'mon doll. Don't be like that. She just thought you might like a night out, a few drinks with the girls. I can look after the kids. You know you like to get on the piss with all your friends."
Wow, he really was starting to get under my skin. "For one thing, Harly, they're her friends, not mine. Secondly, lately she's been giving me these weird vibes; there's something going on with her I don't like. I used to love hanging with her, but lately, I don't know."
"Whoa, steady on, Nola. She's my partner, and she's your mate; you've known her since we were assigned together. She's gone out of her way to make friends with you."
"Yeah, I appreciate that, Harly, but lately she has been pushing real hard. Plus, she's been spending a lot of time here, and that means I never get a break from her. Everywhere I turn there she is. I mean, how come she never dates? She's never mentioned any guys, and she's attractive. Even with her odd working hours, there must be plenty of guys chasing after her."
"I think it's because she had a bad break up from the last jerk she dated."
"Yeah, whatever. I know she talked about him, but it seemed weird to me that we never met him. None of her other friends met him either. It doesn't make sense. If she loved him so much, how come we never met him?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is she really loves you and likes spending time with you. She has said many times lately that she feels you're pushing her away, cutting her off. Would it hurt to go out and have some fun? Maybe there's something she wants to talk about with you. She has mentioned that she likes you and feels comfortable talking to you."
His comment annoyed me. I was trying to explain she's been upsetting me, and he took her side... Again, and that happened a lot recently. "She's got enough friends of her own; she doesn't need me to hold her hand. I'm looking forward to a quiet night at home with the kids."
He gave me a confused frustrated glare. "Why are you giving me that look?"
"We were trying to do something nice for you. It was actually my idea. I sensed a little tension between you two and thought it might be a chance to reconnect with her. You used to be such good mates." Again he pushed her side rather than listening to my concerns.
"Like I say, Harly, there's something odd going on with Rita. I can do without a drama filled night. I'm looking forward to an early dinner, and then spending the evening with the kids. She's become way too clingy and touchy feely."
He shrugged as he walked away. "Wow, you never would have turned down a night with the girls twelve months ago."
"Just for your info, Harly, if they were my friends, I wouldn't now. Those are Rita's friends, they're all ten years younger than me, and mostly single. I'm not into what they're into. I already have a husband."
After dinner, the kids and I watched a movie, as Harly filed out some reports and looked at his roster. That was the only thing I hated about his job... The roster. Him working night shifts regularly meant lots of time with a cold bed. Plus, I did worry about him. Being an ambulance driver and emergency first responder was not only stressful, but dangerous.
With the level of drugs in circulation these days, attending an emergency at a home address meant it was possible at least one, if not both parties were high on something. Methamphetamines was such a common thing these days.
At least being paired with another ambo made it safer. That was one good thing about Rita; she was good at her job, and she was good fun. At least she used to be. Lately, she had become really pushy as a friend, more like a stalker, sycophantic almost.
I used to love going shopping with her because she had such a great eye for fashion and details. She was able to mix and match items, and I always loved the combinations she picked for me...
When she started coming into the changing rooms unannounced, that really upset me, and I had to physically push her out. She laughed it off, but I saw something in her eyes, like a hunger, and it made me uneasy.
So, I did what most people would do in that situation. I pulled back, stopped inviting her for evening meals with us. Went shopping without her. Didn't invite her when my friends and I went out.
It worked. She noticed, and at first it was all good; she gave me space. Then Harly started pushing us together. The harder I pushed her away, the harder he worked at pushing us back together. He excused it by saying. "Come on love, she's my partner, we're a team and she's always had my back."
I was trying to untangle myself from her, and he was inviting her over for meals, movie nights. Any excuse and he invited her over.
I guess that created a little tension between Harly and I. For the first time, I was uncomfortable with him, and I started to question why.
I used to work the ER at the local hospital as a registered nurse. It's how Harly, and I met. After we married and had our two beautiful children, I stopped work. I promised myself that the early years I wanted to spend as a stay at home mum. I wanted to form those tight bonds with my children.
Once they reached school age, I decided it was time to go back to work. I didn't fancy the night shifts at the hospital, so when a local doctors surgery advertised for a receptionist/nurse, I applied.
It was perfect. I job shared with another woman, and it allowed me to work flexible hours for the days Harly couldn't pick up the kids from school. The money wasn't as good at first, but after twelve months, I got a real boost. I guess I had proven my worth.
Harly worked a four on, four off roster, which allowed him to spend time with the kids. It was an excellent arrangement, except I did miss him when he worked night shifts.
Life was great except for bloody Rita. At first we were great friends, but recently, phew. She had become hard work.
I guess in retrospect, there were signs, but somehow I never connected the dots. Harly started probing about sexual fantasies in bed. "Have you ever thought about a threesome?" he asked one night.
It shocked me that he came out with it the way he did. "Yeah, I used to have a really hot fantasy about a threesome. I just didn't think you'd be into it." I joked.
"Oh, doll, I'd be into it all right. Jesus, I'd be right into it. I love the idea."
His enthusiasm shocked me. Was he seriously thinking about including other people in our love life? I decided to call his bluff. "Sweet, who should we invite around? Your mate Phil is a bit of a looker."
"Phil..." he blustered. "What the fuck? I meant a woman. Jesus, Nola, I'm not fucking gay."
"A woman... Oh god no. That sounds disgusting." I rasped sarcastically.
He looked crestfallen. "What made you think I'd be interested in being with a woman?" I snapped back.
"I don't know, it seems like it's commonplace these days. I mean it's on TV all the time, I thought it would be cool. I would love to see you with another woman. I thought it'd be as sexy as hell."
"I've never considered being with a woman, What made you suggest it?"
He got a little defensive. "There was something on talkback radio about common fantasies for couples. That one always used to get me going when I was younger. Just thought it might be something you might be into as well."
I knew Harly pretty well, his facial expression, even in the dim light looked uneasy. I decided to test the water. "Yeah, okay. I will if you will."
"What do you mean by that?" he responded hesitantly, suspiciously.
"We could start by adding a guy, then after that we could try adding a woman."
"What the fuck, Nola? I just said I'm not gay."
"Yeah, well neither am I. If it's good one way, then it's got to work the other. So my response is. I will if you will."
"That's bullshit; lots of chicks like to play with other women. It's not the same. It's acceptable for women. In fact, it's fucking hot. I'd love to watch you make out with another chick."
"Would you now... Well, I'd love to watch you suck another guys cock. Get it all hard and firm. Maybe you could hold it, guide it into my pussy."
"Fucking hell, Nola, cut it out. I'm no cock sucker."
"And I'm no pussy licker. So lets call this conversation closed, aye?" I pulled the blankets up tightly around me and rolled to the edge of the bed.
I felt him do the same, and now there was this huge voided space between us. It was cruel/ Like most women, I had always wondered what it would be like to hold a woman, to feel her lips on mine. I sniggered quietly. One night when I had gone outwith Rita, we went to a gay bar, god knows why, but that's where we ended up. It was an awesome night, and one of Rita's friends who was totally spaced out started dirty dancing with me. She rubbed her body against mine, and as shocked as I was, I was also as aroused as hell.
What a night. I was drunk enough to let her put her hands all over me, and we might have even kissed if Rita hadn't interrupted. She was so hammered she didn't know what was going on. It killed the moment. That night I was so worked up when we got home I banged Harly's brains out.
I was so horny I jumped his bones and he couldn't wipe the smile of his face for weeks. Maybe that's why he always encouraged me to go out with the girls. I never did confess why I was so aroused, though.
After that fight, things were awkward between us. He wasn't happy and tried several times over the next couple of months to restart the conversation. It was always while we were making love. I guess he tried to make it sexy, but all it did was make me angry. If we talked about it, rather than him just pushing it down my throat, maybe it would be different. After his first confession, I thought about it a fair bit, and it did excite me.
Still, it was his attitude towards it that pissed me off, and that made me angry. "Am I not enough for you, Harly? Is that what all this talk of threesomes is all about?"
"No, sweetheart. You got the wrong idea. It was more about spicing things up. You know how sexy you are. I just thought it might be something you would enjoy."
"Something you'd enjoy, more like," I spat out cynically. "Well, when you feel like you want a man's cock up your arse, you let me know. That should be a real spicy twist."
