The Alpha Male 1

Friends, Romans, countrymen. This is a short one. I dunno if you'd call it a flash story. To be honest, I neither know or care what one of those is.

I wrote The Alpha Male to get a point across. It is almost entirely dialogue, so if you don't like that, or don't like Dave's uncompromising unforgivedness, don't read it.

Kind thanks, as usual, to the gifted love of my life, CreativityTakesCourage, for the quick edit.

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9:05a.m.

"Good morning, lover."

"Hello, John."

"What's the matter, sweetie? You look terrible."

"Dave knows about us, John. He confronted me this morning. Said that one of his friends saw us out at that restaurant last night."

"Shit, that could complicate things, Jen. It's not the end of the world though. We talked about this possibility."

"I know we did, John, but when the time came, it hurt. After all, Dave and I have been married twenty-five years and had two kids together."

"What did you say to him?"

"Pretty much what we agreed on. I didn't bother denying it. You know I'm a lousy liar, John."

"So?"

"Like I said, I pretty much stuck to the script you suggested. Told him the truth of it."

"What? That you're a successful career woman, a lawyer no less, that has been married to a mere mechanic for just about her entire adult life. A guy who has never tried to better himself. That, for once in your life, you wanted to be with an alpha male. Someone who is your equal. A man that can take charge, not one that bowed to your wishes every step of the way."

"Yeah, pretty much. Don't put him down too much though. He does have his own business now and his trade did provide for the kids and I. Putting them through college and me through uni. It's just that when we rehearsed it, it sounded like I deserved someone like you, but when he reminded me of the years of support, both emotional and financial, he'd provided, then it all sounded a little hollow. You know what I'm saying?"

"Did you tell him everything? That if he didn't accept the status quo then the firm would back you to the hilt in a divorce and leave him penniless?"

"Yes. Yes, I did, John. The only problem is, he didn't seem to care a rat's ass about all that stuff. Just kept repeating that he couldn't believe I was tossing him away after all his loyalty. I've gotta say, John, it hurt. I tried to tell him I wasn't discarding him, I just felt I deserved a little extra, but I don't think he took that in. I don't want to lose him, John."

"A little extra, Jen? I'm insulted. You said you loved my big cock, honey. You told me it took you places good ol' hubby hadn't taken you in years. Did you or did you not say, you'd never had sex like it?"

"Yes. Yes, I did, John. But I told you I wasn't that experienced when I married Dave and he was always so gentle. You are so different, so dominating and demanding, it just swept me away."

"Yes, and I will continue to sweep you away, lover. Your husband will just have to accept that you have an extra dimension now. With you, he's lost his top dog status. I'm the alpha male around here and he'll just have to accept it. Still, I'd hate to think I've cost you a twenty-five-year marriage. Tell you what, I'll prepare some documents then go and see him this afternoon. Leave me the address of his workshop."

"What documents, John?"

"Anything that I can think of, Jen. You know the trick we play on all gullible schmucks. Orders restraining him from coming anywhere near you, me, or your home. Papers freezing his company bank accounts, that's just the start. Overwhelm him with papers that he's not qualified to know are just bluffs. Your little hubby is about to be told in no uncertain terms just who the alpha is around here. Believe me, sweetie, by the time I've finished bullying him, he'll be begging you to give him what scraps he can get."

"I don't know, John. You didn't see his face this morning."

2:17p.m.

"Mr. Brown. Can I come in, my name is..."

"I know who you are."

"Good, that saves some time. I believe Jenny told you this morning that the arrangement that she and I have will continue into the foreseeable future. What she didn't tell you, I believe, is why you'll allow it. If I could just sit my briefcase here, thank you. I don't know if you're aware, but I am the owner of the company Jenny works for. That means I have over twenty lawyers at my disposal and I can absolutely assure you that every single one of them was chosen because of their superior record of cases won. Over half of them are experienced in divorce law, and believe me, I'll have no hesitation unleashing every single one of them against you.

"This bundle is just what I got ready to file this morning. I'll go through them briefly. This is a petition for divorce. See, your wife has already signed it. This is an order freezing your company accounts until the business can be sold under a settlement agreement. This is an order giving you twenty-four hours to vacate your marital home. These four are restraining orders, keeping you at least two hundred metres away from myself, Jenny, her home, and our place of business.

"Do you see which way this is going to go, Davey boy? I'll have you so wrapped up in legal writs you won't be able to move. You'll give up in the end when you don't have a penny left to find the world's worst lawyer. And guess what? All through this I'll still be fucking your wife.

"Yes, I can see you're bigger and stronger than me. But you have to realise, Neanderthals don't rule the world any more. Brains won over brawn years ago.

"Look, it doesn't have to be like that, Mr. Brown. Not at all. Let's just keep the status quo, shall we? I'll keep fucking her when I want, and you get to fuck her when she wants. Just like it's been for the last four months. Hey, why make waves? I'll get sick of her one day, then she'll be all yours again.

"Alright. I've said my piece. Let's face it if you'd been all she needed we wouldn't be here now, would we? My advice is to just accept it. Take it on the chin. Use it as an opportunity for self-improvement. One piece of advice though, buddy. Stand up to your wife a little more. I stole her off you not by being the most charming guy who tried, but by being the alpha male and telling her how it was going to end up. Just like I've done with you."

"Have you finished yet, windbag? I can see that like most of society today, you don't have a fucking clue what the term alpha male means. Do you want a mere mechanic to explain it to you?"

"Go on, cuck, tell me what it means."

"Well, they do say a picture paints a thousand words."

With this, Dave takes a half step forwards and drives his right fist into the lawyer's face. Hard. There is a satisfying crunch of gristle and teeth being dislodged. John slumps to the floor, back against the wall of the workshop, a look of absolute amazement clear on the undamaged part of his face.

"Consider that Illustration #1."

Before the pain really cuts in, Dave lifts John to his feet but immediately drops him again with an uppercut to the diaphragm. This time John lies on his side, hunting for breath.

"And that, Illustration # 2."

Just as John's search is paying dividends, Dave's steel capped right boot stomps on the lawyer's outstretched hand, breaking the wrist and several bones within the hand. A boot to the chest, breaking three ribs, settles Dave's rage for the moment.

"And they were Illustrations 3 and 4. And, Mr. er,

Alpha

, it would really help if you stopped squealing. I'm trying to teach you something here. By the way, thanks for making me break my promise to myself back in high school, never to use my size and strength offensively. I was going to leave you out of the consequences of Jen's actions until you came barging in here rubbing my nose in it. Even gentle men have their breaking points."

Dave rests his foot on John's throat until he gains the latter's full attention again.

"Now back to your education. The term alpha male comes from wolf packs. He's the one and only one wolf who tells all the others what to do. He might not be the smartest wolf, or even the biggest, but what he is, is the meanest motherfucker around. The one that will kill without a second's hesitation. He's absolutely ruthless and you, son, don't even come close. You may be the alpha in the small world of your airconditioned office, but out here in the big bad world you're just another piss-ant pussy. And I really wouldn't go around calling yourself smart. You didn't even bring a witness, you dumb fuck.

"Now, let's look at the possible futures here. Option one is that you report this to the police. Maybe they arrest me. Maybe they don't. Maybe they let me out on bail. Maybe they don't. Maybe they pin it on me. Maybe they can't. Lot of maybe's in there, John. Worst case scenario, for me, is that I get a five-year apprenticeship in prison. Five-years of learning how to hurt people. How to kill and hide the body so no one ever finds it. And then, when I finish my apprenticeship, we'll have another conversation like this one. Or, windbag, you can chalk this up to experience. Use it as one of your learning experiences of what can happen when you screw another man's wife. Now fuck off. I have some cleaning to do thanks to you bleeding and, Jesus effing Christ, crapping yourself on my nice, clean workshop floor. Alpha? My fucking arse."

6:51p.m.

"John, I'm waiting at the office. I thought you'd be back ages ago. Where are you?"

"I've just been admitted to a ward in the hospital after three hours in casualty, Jen."

"My god, what happened? Were you in an accident?"

"No, Jen. I underestimated your husband. I stupidly went to see him alone. He broke my nose, my left hand, some ribs, and possibly my cheekbone."

"I don't believe it, John. He's never been violent that I know of."

"Believe me, it's true. I'll show you the x-rays if you like."

"My god. I can't believe it. Not my Dave. Is there any way I can stop you going to the police? We kind of brought this on ourselves. Despite what he's done, Dave doesn't deserve to end up in prison over this."

"The police have already been, Jen. I told them I was knocked down by a hit and run driver. Your darling, gentle husband told me that as bad as I am now, this is only a down payment on what I can expect if I press charges. I... I can't risk getting hurt again, Jenny. I've decided to keep my mouth well and truly shut."

"That sounds a bit wussy, John. It sounds like you're terrified of him. I just can't believe it. Dave wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Well, believe me. I have the broken bones to prove it. Just doing what I need to do to survive, Jen. Now, I've got to go. They've filled me full of pain meds and they're starting to kick in."

9:18a.m. the next day. At John's hospital bedside

.

"John? John, you have to help me. I drove around till after eight last night. I didn't know if it would be safe to go home. I tried ringing Dave to ask but he never picked up. When I finally braved going home, all the locks were changed. I couldn't get in. I ended up staying at my sister's house. I checked this morning and all our bank accounts are empty and none of our credit cards work. You have to help me. Can you get one of the divorce guys at work to start the process of getting Dave removed from the house? Can I come stay with you until then?"

"No, Jen."

"No to what, John?"

"All of it. If I use company assets and resources to help you, he will have cause to come after me again. In fact, I'm going to play it safe. You're fired, Jen. I'll pay you an extra four weeks' in severance if you pack up and leave today. Can you tell Dave that I fired you if you see him... please?"

"Didn't you hear me, John? Dave has cleaned me out. Without money, a job, or your help, I'm screwed from the start."

"I'm sorry, Jen. You didn't see your husband's face as he beat me up. I'm doing what I have to do."

"You're pathetic, John. Yesterday you were bragging that you're an alpha male. Today you're quivering and worried that my husband, who is ten times the man you are, is hiding under your bed. How I could ever think I'd be trading up if I ended up with you is beyond me."

"And you're delusional to think I was ever serious about a cheating slut like you."

Epilogue 10:00p.m. that same day.

Jennifer Brown sat in her silent car on the side of the road. With credit cards declined and out of cash, it had only been a matter of time before she ran out of fuel. Thankfully, Dave hadn't thought to cancel her phone service. Or was he being calculatedly cruel? She was driving towards the city where her two children now lived, looking for refuge. In all the years, they'd never let more than an hour pass before answering her messages. She'd started ringing them just after ten that morning. She checked messages once again. Zero.

Jenny sighed, grabbed her useless handbag, and stepped out of the car. Straightening her skirt, she stepped to the side of the road and stuck out her thumb.

The predator approaching in a beaten-up van smiled to himself as he saw the lone woman on the side of the road. He wouldn't have described himself as an alpha male. Even he was wise enough to know that loners cannot ever be described that way. His smile broadened as he neared her. This section of road had always been productive for him.

The End

I wrote this story because, like a lot of you, I guess, I'm totally sick of dickheads making one decision and calling themselves an alpha male. The bit above about wolves is true, as is the definition of the alpha. It is wrong to call yourself, 'an alpha male'. It depends on the circumstances. If you are with a group of other guys and the rest of them look to you for guidance, then in that situation, you are THE alpha male. Go next door into another situation, where another guy is calling the shots and you cease to be the alpha.

I work as the head of an emergency response squad in an industry where things can go to hell in a handbasket in the blink of an eye. 99.9% of the time, I have a boss, who, I and others, look to for guidance. He is the alpha male at those times. But when the shit hits the fan, and it's time for the rescue to start, lives to be risked, and the body bags to be zipped, my boss sits back and is silent, lest I bite him.

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NOW LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP.

The following jokes are on kind loan from XTCHR

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

***

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?'

He answers, 'You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, cause it's SO much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she...'

(Could this be the guy on the milk carton!)