Allen sat on the bed. The room was bathed in bright sunlight a far cry to what the weather had been like over the past two and half months. He'd gone to work that morning and what ever he did, he just couldn't concentrate. Since Sarah informed him of her pregnancy, he'd been in a mental turmoil. As he had some lieu time owing from when he helped put in the new assembly line he asked if he could take a few days off. Now he found himself at home trying to come to terms with what he'd instigated.
Sarah was still at work so he had a few hours to himself to think.
He'd initiated everything. His fantasy of wanting to see his wife, Sarah taken by another man just drove him on; it was lust and nothing more. Even now, he could still picture exactly what happened on that Saturday night and every time his cock would grow and his lust intensifies. Just thinking about it makes him want more. But his hunger for more had allowed the ultimate defilement of his marriage to Sarah, now, she could be carrying Derrick's baby. His mind recoiled at the thought of it.
Swallowing hard and feeling physically sick he asked the same question he'd asked a thousand times already, 'What have I done'?
He fell back onto the bed. Eyes watering with tears, he knew there was no easy solution.
"Hi y' sweetheart," he said greeting his wife as she entered the room.
"Gosh you're home early?" Sally questioned as she put her shopping bags down.
"I had some lieu time to take so I've got the next couple of days off."
"Lucky you," she replied putting her handbag on the kitchen table and bending down to kiss her husband on the forehead.
As she straightened, up so he stood and took her into his arms and pulled her close. He whispered into her ear, "I'm so sorry, Sarah." He remained holding her feeling her breasts against his chest and luxuriating in her smell and warmth.
Sarah's arms had automatically gone around him and she held onto her man until the words bit deep. Somehow, she'd managed to put the problem to the back of her mind and for the past couple of days thought nothing of it, but now it all came rushing back.
She'd dreamt of starting a family and quite soon. Allen has a good, well-paid job and she is earning a good wage, which they have been saving for over a year for when they decide to make that commitment. Her dream was to have their baby because they loved each other, to have it with the man she married, the man she loved. But it has all gone so horribly wrong. Now she has a baby growing inside of her that was made of lust not love, a baby that might not be her husbands.
Sally eased away from Allen and without looking at him said, "Well . . . um . . . it's not just your fault it's happened, Allen."
Turning away Sarah returned to the shopping bags and started to put the groceries away.
"It is my fault."
"I didn't have to let it happen you know, I could've said no," Sarah said.
"Yes you could've and you did for quite some time, but through my insistence you did it now we're going to have to pay for it for the rest of our lives."
"That's what happens to people that fool around, they get their fingers burnt and we did."
"But a baby," Allen blurted, "What happen to protection?"
"Neither of us thought of it did we?" Sarah replied defensively.
"No," Allen's voice faded as if he were thinking then went on, "But doesn't a woman have some kind of maternal natural defence against these things?"
"Yes she does, it's called keeping her legs shut." Her anger grew as she realised Allen was looking for an escape goat. She stopped what she was doing and looked at him. He was looking at her expectantly.
"So it's my fault is it?"
"Um, no of course not," he snapped back, "It's just that . . ."
". . . That the woman should always make sure she has protection that men can't take that responsibility." Now she was angry, "It was you who had the bloody fantasy, and it was you who wanted it to happen. In the end, I did it for you, I was happy to keep it in the bedroom as a source of titillation. But you weren't. You wanted more, you wanted to see the real thing, and this is what happens in reality."
Allen fell silent. He could tell he'd upset Sarah; it wasn't what he wanted but he just didn't know what to do. He also knew she'd lied to him about that night and that had preyed on his mind. She'd lied once has she lied since or even before the event. Yet he knew deep down that the later wasn't true.
"To be honest I didn't even think of it. I was caught up in the whole event; I suppose subconsciously I thought you'd dealt with it."
"Well in some ways it was the same for me. Down at the allotment you rushed me into it; I didn't think a man of Derrick's age could father a child so I suppose I thought it wasn't necessary."
Sadly, Allen got up. He was upset at upsetting Sarah and thought it best he got out of the house for a few hours, "Look I didn't want to upset you, and I didn't want us to argue so I'll pop down to the allotment for an hour or so."
Sarah nodded, she wanted to cry but she was so angry.
Just as Sarah took the casserole out of the oven, the phone rang. Removing the receiver from its cradle, she spoke into it, "Hello?"
"Sarah its Jimmy Benson," said a male voice.
"Hi, Jimmy did you and Carole have a lovely holiday?" Sarah asked smiling.
"Sure it was great really nice, is Allen about?"
"He's in the shower, Jim."
"This is really urgent. Sarah could you give him a shout for me?"
"Yeah sure, hold on." Sarah put the phone down and called up the stairs to her husband, "Allen its Jimmy on the phone says it's urgent."
"What?"
"It's Jimmy from work he says it's urgent."
"Okay I'll be a couple of minutes."
Sarah picks up the receiver, "He won't be long, Jim," Sarah could hear a lot of noise on the other end of the line.
"Thanks Sarah."
"Blimey, Jim what's all the noise?"
"We've had a major breakdown on the assembly line and I want to check with Allen I've got the reset procedures correct before implementing them."
"That's the second breakdown now in ten weeks," Sarah remarked.
"Is it, I never knew that!"
"Yes, Allen was called out on a Sunday evening while you were on holiday."
"Strange, Allen never mentioned it and I don't think it was entered in the production log – let's see."
Sarah suddenly realised she might have put Allen in some kind of trouble over breach of protocol. Jimmy was Allen's superior and there could be a disciplinary looming because of what she'd just said.
"No it's not down in the log," she then heard him call out to someone asking him if there had been a similar problem.
