The story I am about to tell is about the single greatest experience of my life, and therefore, as I am your usual red-blooded male, about sex.
Not just any sex, but sex with two women. And not just any two women, but one, Julie, I have slept with consistently for 10 years now and the other I have wanted to sleep with for every one of those 10 years, her sister Tegan.
Now don't get me wrong, I am a loving husband and very devoted partner. Julie and I have a great life together and the sex is good. We do play and occasionally experiment, but I am the sort of person that likes the experimentation part of a sex life more than what one (Julie) would call 'normal sex'. But everyone in my wife's family knew what guys saw in Tegs, because it was what they wanted to see in themselves when they looked in the mirror, and would have if they weren't as devoted to sweets and afraid of exercise as the baby of the family was.
Tegan was the spitting image of Jules, less about 3 years and 20 kgs. She had a body to die for and loved showing it off at any opportunity, and with tits that I could imagine fit perfectly into my hands, I was constantly stealing a perv. She married Paul a couple of years ago in what was a whirlwind romance. 6 months of dating and a 3 month engagement, something everyone close to her urged her not to do, because I think she was the only one who repeatedly missed Paul's eyes (and the odd hand) straying everywhere. We could all read Paul from a mile away, hot wife who was blind to the odd piece of tail on the side and always pushing the boundaries.
Well, it was Friday night and, as I do on the odd Friday night, I hung around after work for a couple of drinks before enduring the long train ride home to another Friday night of sitting on the couch watching the footy, by myself, drinking beer, by myself, and trying to catch the odd pair of boobs on SBS, again, by myself. Jules is not a sports fan at the best of times, so she usually sits on the computer, on the phone with her friends. Two kids asleep in their rooms kills off any chance of a social life after 7:30. Yep, I'm living the good life!
Well, one text message changed all that, and yes, I do still have the message on my phone.
On the way home can U pls pick up Tegs She has had a rough week and wants a soak in the hot tub tonight. That OK?
My first thought was "great, another one of those nights with me sitting around not even able to drink the beer I was looking forward to or watching the game I was looking forward to either.
But then I read it again. Tegan. Not Tegan and Paul. Just Tegan. And picking her up means she can't drive, meaning she has been drinking, and it was only 6.30. Now at this stage a part of me was saying "poor little sis, but I am enjoying myself" but it didn't take long for that voice to be drowned out by a much much louder voice screaming "Tegan, drinking, alone, in bathers!!!"
Julie, Tegan and their other two sisters are not alcoholics by any stretch of the imagination, but when they do have a drink, two things happen. One, they get adventurous. Boundaries that would normally be up at all times every day slowly get lowered and there are times when we can devote entire evenings to just watching what they get up to, out of, embarrassed about and in hot water over. The usually shy in front of crowds girls become the centre of attention, Quiet girls become very vocal and conservative girls become mini daredevils. But it never goes too far because of point two.
They also get amorous. Alcohol equals sex. Usually at the end of the night, after they have either exhausted all possible avenues of the sort of conservative fun guys look at and think "Just a bit further, please", their eyes lock on the respective partners. And we are definitely not complaining, because, and this is verified by all partners, what happens without the influence of alcohol in the bedroom passes for a children's story in comparison to what happens under the influence.
Now I don't know what happened to the drink I was half way through, but I do know that was the fastest run to the station I have ever made.
When I eventually pulled up to the house, Tegan came out in a two piece suit covered by a very thin piece of material that gave me a hard-on I had to shuffle before it pierced my shorts.
"Hey Matt. Thank you so much." She started before even making it into the car. My god, what an ass. "I was on my third vodka when Jules called and I invited myself over." She looked at me, and held my eyes.
"No worries. Trust me, that outfit says thank you more than you ever could." I kidded.
"It does?" she replied, still staring.
I let that hang and turned my attention to the road, now a bit curious as to what was on her mind, as it was definitely something to do with me, but knowing her the way I did, would also bet it was not what was on my mind.
"How was last weekend?" She asked.
"Not bad. Took some recovery but I'm fit enough now to get back after something like that pretty quick. Great day though."
Now, just to explain that little one, I am a part time Tri-athlete. Its not one of those obsessions where I swim every morning, ride to and from work every day and throw in a 10km run every now and then for good measure. Where I can, I keep myself fit and in pretty good nick, and I am one of those few that actually enjoy running, riding and swimming enough to just want to do it, no reason necessary. Every summer I get my butt into gear and get out there for a few races. The only part of my fitness regime that my wife's family is interested in. This is why the question didn't raise any alarm bells at the time.