It was thirteen years ago that it happened. My husband came home from a business trip to Houston. As soon as he walked through the door I knew something was wrong.
My name is Jolene Braxton. My husband Jim, calls me Jo, as do most of my friends. We had been married five years when this occurred. We had a three year old daughter at the time. Susan, our daughter was taking a nap when Jim walked in.
Jim works for a software company, and on occasion he does have to travel. Fortunately, not very often. I teach AP Calculus at a local high school. It was summer, so I was off for a couple of months.
Jim and I met during our first year of college. We dated for four years, then got married right after graduation. We love each other very much, but it took all the love I had in me for him to not divorce him after this incident.
The look on his face as he came towards me told me it was not going to be a good day. He was already crying, and I could tell he seemed to be asking for forgiveness for what he was about to tell me.
He asked me to sit down as he proceeded to tell me about how he got really drunk, and had sex with a woman who worked for the company he was doing business with. He said it was a drunken moment of weakness, and he felt so guilty he could hardly stand it.
He explained that he was at the bar with several people after their business had concluded. He said he had too much to drink, and so did the woman. He walked her to her room to make sure she made it ok. One thing led to another, and the next thing he knew they were in bed.
Afterwards, they both realized what they had done, and regretted it. She was also married, and felt just as guilty as he did. Jim was crying during his whole confession. I knew he was extremely sorry for what he did, but that did not excuse it.
"I appreciate you being honest with me and not trying to hide it. I'm sure I would have never known if you had not confessed. At least that shows that you do feel some guilt, but it does not excuse the fact that you are a cheating son of a bitch."
"Please Jo, I feel bad enough without you calling me names, although I don't blame you. I deserve it. I am so sorry baby. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, and how tormented I am. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." He said.
"Right now, no I do not forgive you. I am too damn hurt. How could you do this Jim? We have so much going for us. We have a beautiful little daughter, and a good family. I know you are blaming part of this on being drunk, but that is no excuse. You should not have let yourself get into that situation." I cried.
I was crying uncontrollably now. I could tell Jim wanted to console me, but he knew I didn't want it. He was crying also. I knew he felt bad about it, but that was just too fucking bad.
"How long were you in her room?" I asked.
"I think around two hours, but we passed out right after sex. I woke up and went to my room. I did not spend the night with her."
A few minutes later Susan woke up and came into the room. I picked her up to go pack our bags. I decided I couldn't be around Jim right now.
Jim came into the room as I was packing. He pleaded with me not to leave.
Susan said, "Where are we going mommy?"
"Honey, we are going to go visit Grandma and Grandpa."
"Oh goody, I love going to see Grandma and Grandpa. Is daddy going to go?"
"No honey, daddy will not be going this time."
"Oh, is that why daddy is crying?"
"I guess so Susan. Daddy has to stay here."
The look on Jim's face said it all. It was guilt, sorry, desperation, and remorse. I guess I was being pretty tough on him, but he deserved it.
"When will you be back Jo?" He cried.
"I don't know Jim. You have to give me some time to deal with this. It's more than I can handle right now. Don't call me because I just don't want to talk to you right now. I will call you when I'm ready to talk, or come home, if I come home."
"Please Jo, I'm begging you, don't see a lawyer or file for divorce. I love you so much, and I am so very sorry I did this to you. Please believe me when I tell you I did not plan it. It just happened."
"I will not see a lawyer, or file for divorce until I have had a chance to think, then talk to you. After that, I'm not making any promises. Goodbye Jim."
With that we walked out the door. I could hear him crying his eyes out as I walked away from the house. I almost went back, but I didn't. I was so mad at him. I knew I couldn't divorce him over this, but he had to suffer for awhile.
Susan and I spent the next four days at my parents house. I told my parents the whole story, but they were surprisingly neutral. They were mad at Jim, but they loved him dearly, and felt like it was my decision on what to do. I knew Jim was probably a basket case by now since I had not spoken to him since. My anger had subsided, but I was still extremely hurt. After four days, I decided it was time I went home and talk to him.
I called that evening to let him know I would be home the next afternoon, and we would talk when he got off work. He seemed to perk up, and said he had missed me and Susan so much.
I got home a little before I knew he would be home from work. I expected the house to be a wreck, but it was very clean. There was a huge vase of roses on the kitchen table. Typical male I guess. I sat down to wait for him to get home.
I had a plan that would save our marriage. There was one part I was pretty sure he wouldn't like too much, but that's just tough shit. It would be a requirement for not filing for divorce.
Jim walked in the door smiling. It wasn't a big smile, but a smile saying he was glad I came home. I left Susan at my parents house for a couple of days. Jim and I needed to be alone. He came over and sat next to me on the couch.
He just said, "I'm so glad your home Jo. The past few days have been a living hell for me. Did you leave Susan at your parents house?"
"Yes, I thought it best for us to be alone to deal with this. I'm going to go first if that is all right Jim?"
"Yes, of course, but I have some things I need to say to you." He said.