It was thirteen years ago that it happened. My husband came home from a business trip to Houston. As soon as he walked through the door I knew something was wrong.
My name is Jolene Braxton. My husband Jim, calls me Jo, as do most of my friends. We had been married five years when this occurred. We had a three year old daughter at the time. Susan, our daughter was taking a nap when Jim walked in.
Jim works for a software company, and on occasion he does have to travel. Fortunately, not very often. I teach AP Calculus at a local high school. It was summer, so I was off for a couple of months.
Jim and I met during our first year of college. We dated for four years, then got married right after graduation. We love each other very much, but it took all the love I had in me for him to not divorce him after this incident.
The look on his face as he came towards me told me it was not going to be a good day. He was already crying, and I could tell he seemed to be asking for forgiveness for what he was about to tell me.
He asked me to sit down as he proceeded to tell me about how he got really drunk, and had sex with a woman who worked for the company he was doing business with. He said it was a drunken moment of weakness, and he felt so guilty he could hardly stand it.
He explained that he was at the bar with several people after their business had concluded. He said he had too much to drink, and so did the woman. He walked her to her room to make sure she made it ok. One thing led to another, and the next thing he knew they were in bed.
Afterwards, they both realized what they had done, and regretted it. She was also married, and felt just as guilty as he did. Jim was crying during his whole confession. I knew he was extremely sorry for what he did, but that did not excuse it.
"I appreciate you being honest with me and not trying to hide it. I'm sure I would have never known if you had not confessed. At least that shows that you do feel some guilt, but it does not excuse the fact that you are a cheating son of a bitch."
"Please Jo, I feel bad enough without you calling me names, although I don't blame you. I deserve it. I am so sorry baby. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, and how tormented I am. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." He said.
"Right now, no I do not forgive you. I am too damn hurt. How could you do this Jim? We have so much going for us. We have a beautiful little daughter, and a good family. I know you are blaming part of this on being drunk, but that is no excuse. You should not have let yourself get into that situation." I cried.
I was crying uncontrollably now. I could tell Jim wanted to console me, but he knew I didn't want it. He was crying also. I knew he felt bad about it, but that was just too fucking bad.
"How long were you in her room?" I asked.
"I think around two hours, but we passed out right after sex. I woke up and went to my room. I did not spend the night with her."
A few minutes later Susan woke up and came into the room. I picked her up to go pack our bags. I decided I couldn't be around Jim right now.
Jim came into the room as I was packing. He pleaded with me not to leave.
Susan said, "Where are we going mommy?"
"Honey, we are going to go visit Grandma and Grandpa."
"Oh goody, I love going to see Grandma and Grandpa. Is daddy going to go?"
"No honey, daddy will not be going this time."
"Oh, is that why daddy is crying?"
"I guess so Susan. Daddy has to stay here."
The look on Jim's face said it all. It was guilt, sorry, desperation, and remorse. I guess I was being pretty tough on him, but he deserved it.
"When will you be back Jo?" He cried.
"I don't know Jim. You have to give me some time to deal with this. It's more than I can handle right now. Don't call me because I just don't want to talk to you right now. I will call you when I'm ready to talk, or come home, if I come home."
"Please Jo, I'm begging you, don't see a lawyer or file for divorce. I love you so much, and I am so very sorry I did this to you. Please believe me when I tell you I did not plan it. It just happened."
"I will not see a lawyer, or file for divorce until I have had a chance to think, then talk to you. After that, I'm not making any promises. Goodbye Jim."
With that we walked out the door. I could hear him crying his eyes out as I walked away from the house. I almost went back, but I didn't. I was so mad at him. I knew I couldn't divorce him over this, but he had to suffer for awhile.
Susan and I spent the next four days at my parents house. I told my parents the whole story, but they were surprisingly neutral. They were mad at Jim, but they loved him dearly, and felt like it was my decision on what to do. I knew Jim was probably a basket case by now since I had not spoken to him since. My anger had subsided, but I was still extremely hurt. After four days, I decided it was time I went home and talk to him.
I called that evening to let him know I would be home the next afternoon, and we would talk when he got off work. He seemed to perk up, and said he had missed me and Susan so much.
I got home a little before I knew he would be home from work. I expected the house to be a wreck, but it was very clean. There was a huge vase of roses on the kitchen table. Typical male I guess. I sat down to wait for him to get home.
I had a plan that would save our marriage. There was one part I was pretty sure he wouldn't like too much, but that's just tough shit. It would be a requirement for not filing for divorce.
Jim walked in the door smiling. It wasn't a big smile, but a smile saying he was glad I came home. I left Susan at my parents house for a couple of days. Jim and I needed to be alone. He came over and sat next to me on the couch.
He just said, "I'm so glad your home Jo. The past few days have been a living hell for me. Did you leave Susan at your parents house?"
"Yes, I thought it best for us to be alone to deal with this. I'm going to go first if that is all right Jim?"
"Yes, of course, but I have some things I need to say to you." He said.
"You hurt me Jim, but I don't think you did it intentionally. I still love you with all my heart. If I didn't, you would have gotten divorce papers. That still does not excuse the fact that you fucked someone else. I guess I have to know if you still love me? I have to know if I can trust you when I'm not with you. The best part of this was how you immediately confessed to me. You didn't try to hide it, and you seem to feel very guilty about."
"Jo baby, I am feeling so guilty, and sorry, you cannot even imagine. Not only did I hurt you and Susan, I brought so much shame on myself I can hardly stand it. I am a good loyal husband Jo. I'm not a philanderer. What happened was a stupid once in a lifetime mistake, that will never be repeated. I swear to God. I will spend the rest of my life showing you how good a husband I can be."
"That's what I wanted to hear Jim. It will take awhile for me to trust you again, but if you show me that I can, then I will."
"I promise I will. I will win back your trust, and I will prove you made a good choice when you chose me as your husband."
We hugged then kissed. It was a little awkward, but felt good.
Then I said, "The flowers are beautiful Jim. Thank you."
"Thank you Jo. Thank you for being understanding, and giving me another chance."
"There is one more thing Jim. I have something for you to sign. Failure to sign this piece of paper will mean that I will start divorce proceedings."
He suddenly got a look of concern on his face. "What is it?" He asked.
"Well, since you are getting a free pass on this, I decided that if I ever needed one, I should have one also. This is a Hall Pass agreement. It says that if I ever want to fuck outside of our marriage, I get your permission, a free pass if you will. I'm not saying I will ever use it, but I will have this to use if needed. It is open ended, and does not expire. It will always be a reminder that you owe me."
"Are you serious Jo. Why would you do this to me?"
"Jim, in order for me to forgive you, you have to know that you owe me. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I have no plans to use it, but I want it there so you know I mean business."
I figured if he would agree to this, he really did love me, and his affair was just a fluke.
"All right Jo, if this is what it takes, I will sign it. I hope you are right when you say you don't plan on using it. I would do anything to win back you trust."
He did sign the agreement. According to the agreement, I get one two hour free pass, just like he did. I folded it up and put it in a zip lock baggy. I then sealed it in an envelope. I put it away in my drawer. I knew I would probably never use it, but he would always be worried about it.
After that was taken care of I suggested we go out for a romantic dinner, and evening. Jim agreed, so he made reservations at my favorite Italian restaurant.
We had a nice meal, some good wine, and danced a little. We came home and made love. I started to get very emotional as I reached my orgasm. The whole ordeal of his cheating came down on me in a release of pleasure and emotion. Right after I came, and he came inside me, I cried hard as I hugged him.
He hugged back and kept saying how sorry he was. We both cried for awhile, and then I felt much better. We laid there cuddling in each other's arms for quite awhile. I think we grew a lot closer that night. I knew I loved him so much, and never wanted to lose him.