Here is the thing. I knew that big cocks existed. And I had even heard stories about them before, with people in my own life. I had an ex-girlfriend who I am still friends with, and she told me about fucking someone after me who had a superthick cock. But she did not say it was amazing or the best sex ever; it was just an observation. On another occasion this same person told me about her friend, that gave a blow job to a neighbor in college, and his dick was almost too thick for her mouth. It made her friend's jaw sore, instantly. Again, she did not say her friend said it was amazing. It was just a quirky thing: he had a dick too big for blowjobs. Big cocks were out there, just like really tall people, or black people with blue eyes. A kind of curiosity.
But with my wife, I knew it was different. I knew that she liked this big dick, and that it was not just "neat to look at", or a curiosity, it was a big fucking deal to her. She didn't go overseas craving a big cock, she just happened to find one, and became a convert. And I knew that she loved it because she had told me, while she was there and we were Skyping, that she had met somebody, and they were having sex. Of course I asked a little about it, but at the time, did not ask if he had a big dick. She was, of course, reluctant to share much, but again I coerced her, and she shared that she was surprised that each time they had had sex, she had a big orgasm. She attributed it to not having sex for over 9 months -- her last time was with me -- and that she just must be excited to be doing it again. I thought to myself at the time there must be more to it than that, but I let it be.
When she came back, we resumed dating, and having sex. To me, it felt great. Years into our marriage she explained to me how that first time we had sex, after a year of her being away, she expected it to feel how it felt with the other guy, who she had last fucked only a week or so before. But it did not feel that way. She said as soon as I slid in missionary style, she noticed: there was no "tingle" at the opening or her pussy. I just slipped in, easily. And then, when she climbed on top of me, like she had him, it felt different. There was no "electricity" inside. She still felt sort of empty. She knew my dick was inside her, but it just didn't feel how she had grown accustomed to it feeling. Through a lot of effort, and arranging pillows underneath me in a certain way, and with me contorting uncomfortably and her grinding against me, she did come. But without being filled up, it was a mild orgasm. Again, I did not find out about this until years later, after we were married.
As time went on, our sex life changed. She was not into penis in vagina sex as much. Instead, she preferred me to use my mouth on her, and to stick more and more fingers inside of her, pressing hard into the top of her vagina, against (what I hoped was) her g-spot. In her head, when I was eating her out, and pressing her g-spot, she was thinking about getting fucked by a big dick, but she only opened up about this much later. After she had her orgasm, I would enter her, with no resistance, and come in about a minute.
Because my sex drive was higher than hers, sometimes she would lie beside me in bed when I jerked off, and assist me by playing with my nipples or just talking to me. We had been married a couple years now, and I would often watch porn with her, on the TV in the bedroom. Yes, she was still Catholic, but by now I had corrupted her, and gotten her to loosen up a bit, sexually, hence the porn. One video featured a guy that had a particularly big and thick cock, and out of the blue, I asked her if that is what her former lover was like? She said he was AT LEAST that big. My brain had finally been rewired enough, and her stating this plainly, and me seeing what looked like an absolutely huge dick on screen, made me sort of gasp, excitedly. "Really?" Then, still lying beside me, she reached down to my proud 6" cock, and wrapped her hand around it, but without actually feeling it and leaving an inch or so gap between her fingers and thumb. She was grabbing this other guy's "phantom dick", and showing how much bigger it was than me. There was so much air between her hand and my normal-sized dick, and she said: "His was like that. I couldn't really grab it completely. It was way thicker than yours. Like two of you."
When I came, my jizz shot over my stomach, and on to my chest and neck. It was such a great release. And with this act, I think she let go of feeling guilty about missing that big dick she once had, and I let go of feeling threatened by it. This little episode opened up a whole new dimension to our sex life. Now I had a million questions about her experience, and somehow hearing the truth about how much she loved a big, thick cock, and how she could not ever get that feeling from me, and how she missed it -- somehow it made me feel closer to her. I loved that she was wired that way, and that it was not a fantasy, but reality. I loved her honesty, and I still do. And I love that my wife is one of those rare women that can orgasm just from penetration. But to do so, she requires a really big, thick dick. She didn't choose to be this way. It was just how she is wired. She had to accept that, I had to accept it, and we needed to make this work, now that everything was out in the open.