Bear with me ....this is my first attempt at returning to writing after a break of many years
60. Only a number they say. But that wasn't a comfort to Susan as she contemplated her life.
Her kids had flown the nest. Sure they visited from time to time, more frequently in the months after the death of her husband but less so now.
Her husband of 31 years had passed away exactly 3 years ago after a battle with illness.
For the past 3 years she had tried to keep herself busy and active but more recently she felt the loneliness and found herself considering seeking a new relationship.
But there were so many doubts. Would her children approve?. How do people her age go about dating? Are there online agencies for seniors? And of course the nagging question - does she just want companionship or would there be an expectation of intimacy?
Yes. Intimacy. That word. Those feelings. Hard not to be aware of it when it seems thrown at you every time you watch TV or a movie, or read a book, or browse online. A need she had turned off in her head when her husband got ill and had managed to suppress until recently.
But then, out of the blue, a few weeks ago. One evening she was taking a long relaxing bath and found her mind wandering back in time. Back to her limited encounters before she met her husband. Back to the early days of married life. Back to the time she nearly broke her marriage vows. And as she reflected feelings stirred and almost without her control her fingers found their way between her legs and delivered an intense orgasm. The experience surprised her and awakened something in her that caused her to repeat the self pleasure on multiple occasions since.
She had met her husband when aged 23. Her experience prior to that was limited. She had not had a regular boyfriend for any length of time. And, she was still a virgin when they met. Her virginity was not a choice for any moral or religious reasons but more due to waiting for the right person and/or right occasion.
One encounter was a consistent source of stimulation for her thoughts. She was 22 and while she had kissed her share of boys only 3 had got as far as getting her bra open. She was quite slim then and her slimness seemed to emphasise her 34d breasts. She thought it sounded silly now but back then she was anxious to be attractive as a package and not because she had bigger boobs than many so she was always slow to allow boys to enjoy them. But back to age 22, and this particular night she had gone for a drink after work and found herself being chatted up by the team leader of her friends team. He was 28, fit, confident and good looking.
When he kissed her in the pub she was thrilled. Later at a club they danced closed and kissed loads. He drove her home and confidently pulled up short of her house in a place in shadows. The kissing resumed, passionate. She was expecting his hand to seek out her breasts but he had other ideas . His hand slid smoothly up her thighs under her skirt. This was all new to her but it was exciting - her immediate regret that she was wearing tights. But that was no deterrent to him as he managed to manoeuvre his hand inside both the tights and her panties. He did ask was there anywhere more discreet nearby they could go - she maybe knowing that that would involve sex said no. He didn't push it and within a few minutes the combination of his skilled fingers and her excitement brought her to orgasm.
There was no follow up in the next few days to her disappointment but there was a party coming up that she knew he would be at. She dressed to impress hoping for a repeat and open to more. But to her horror he arrived at the party with his new girlfriend which killed her mood. Her rebound was to drink a bit too much and let another work colleague take her to an upstairs room. While she managed to keep her panties on she finished the night with a love bite on one of her breasts and a semen stain on her jeans where her first handling of a mans cock had caused him to get off in her hand.
She met her husband to be about 6 months later. They dated conventionally and built up to sex on a weekend away after nine months together. Their sex life through marriage was good, if very routine and infrequent in the later years. But it was definitely a part of the relationship she was once again aware of and missing, despite her age.
She was a faithful wife save for one near slip. Her husband and herself were going through a rocky spell, lots of arguments, feeling neglected etc On a weekend away with a gf who was going through a messy separation, she spent the night with a man, initially so that her friend could have sex with his friend in their bedroom. Wine contributed to a charged atmosphere and when the man took the initiative after flirty chat and got into bed beside her, things happened. They were both married - when she felt herself going with it she made it clear there would be no penetration. To his credit he respected that but nonetheless she woke in the morning with his dried come caked on her belly and boobs.
But back to present day and her renewed awareness of her needs. Later in the week she met her best friend for coffee. They went back years and it killed Susan to see her now, confined to a wheelchair and a still deteriorating condition. They always discussed everything, no secrets and Susan confessed to her of her recent thoughts and how she missed intimacy.
The following week they met again. Her friend, Amanda, was in serious mood and brought up the chat from the previous week. She said she had thought of it a lot and had a serious proposition for her. Susan was shocked by her proposal. As Amanda's illness had developed her capability to have any intimacy with her husband had gone. She knew he was frustrated but understanding. She dreaded him seeking out a stranger or worse, paying a hooker or escort. So the solution was simple, Susan could take her place in their bed with him. Susan was appalled but Amanda was insistent and told her she would be doing such a wonderful thing for her if she agreed.
It took 6 weeks of Amanda persistently hounding and begging for her to agree. Once she said yes Amanda moved fast to set up the first meet. She was to come over the next Saturday evening for a glass of wine with them both.