My wife Abby and I started in the swinger lifestyle over 5 years ago. It started unexpectedly with friends on vacation and quickly developed into meeting other couples looking to explore. It was fun, exciting, and, at times, amazing. Then again sometimes it was just ok and occasionally it was even bad. It was also a good deal of work and often the time and energy put into it seemed not worth it.
We met many couples and found that having the right four way connection was key to having a good sexual encounter. Finding that four way connection was the challenging part. Sometimes after spending hours messaging, planning a date, and then meeting with the other couple we found it just wasn't there.
Occasionally we would meet a couple and found that we really liked them but there was no sexual chemistry for whatever the reason. We would still consider it as a win because we found new friends and it was always nice to have someone to talk to about the lifestyle.
Eventually we did leave the lifestyle. We didn't make a conscious decision to stop but over a period of time we just stopped checking the swinger websites we were members of or checking messages from our private facebook groups we used to find and meet couples in the lifestyle. We just didn't want to put in the effort any longer.
As I said before we did meet some great people who, although we didn't find the right attraction, we became pretty good friends. Sasha and Don were one of those couples. When we met on our first date they were nice enough people and we enjoyed getting to know them but something didn't click sexually..
I found Sasha fairly attractive and very personable. Abby told me she was not super attracted to Don, but maybe if enough of a connection developed she could enjoy a sexual encounter with him. Abby always found personality the big turn on. There were several very attractive men we met where most women would love to have a no strings attached one night fuck. Abby wasn't interested in them because she didn't find their personality attractive. On the other hand there were a few men I wouldn't think she would have given a second thought to yet she was eager to please them any way she could. For her, personality was the most important factor.
With Sasha and Don something wasn't there. After our first date we were on the fence. They were attractive enough and friendly, and we had a good time at dinner with them, yet we left unsure
They were interested in us and told us so. In later messaging they were very clear in letting us know they were ready to move forward at any time. Our response was that we would like to meet them again soon but didn't indicate our intentions beyond that. We planned a second date at a local bar.
It was fun. We talked for several hours over drinks and a genuine connection was emerging. We liked them and I believed they truly liked us. We found many things outside of sex we had in common including all being huge hockey fans, although we liked rival teams. This was a nice surprise as we were able to do a little trash talking in a fun way. As the night ended, Don approached Abby and kissed her good night and I followed suit kissing Sasha which was an indication that we were heading in a more intimate direction.
On the drive home our discussion was of what's next. I was ready to move forward as there was enough for me to want more. Abby was still hesitant. She couldn't pinpoint why but just wasn't sure if she wanted anything more. She said at times she felt like she would like to, but there were enough doubts that she didn't want to risk it. We decided perhaps it was best to just let them know we would love to be friends but we were not interested in anything sexually.
We let them know via messaging and they said they understood, friendship is awesome and not to worry. We talked about meeting again soon and hanging out. Perhaps we would go to a hockey game together.
We felt bad and communication between us became a little awkward although we continued to keep in contact. Over time the communication slowed and after several discussions about meeting up again, for various reasons, it never worked out. I imagine they thought we were stringing them along as things faded. Perhaps we were, though it was unintentional.
It was not long after this date we began to lose interest in the lifestyle for all the reasons mentioned previously. Time went on without responding to others who had reached out to us and not checking or updating our profiles on various websites. We were essentially out of the game.
The following hockey season I got a text from Don talking trash about my team. It was good natured and good to hear from him. It rekindled the communication between us all. One of our rules was that when we communicate with other couples it's always a group communication so that all would see. We always made this clear right from the start with any new couple we met. Don was still following our request which I appreciated even though this lacked the flirtiness of our previous messaging. This was more like friends joking around with each other.
After the ice was broken, we began regular although not frequent communication via text messages once again. Our teams were scheduled to play each other the next week so the trash talk began big time leading up to the game and especially during the game. Abby, who loves hockey, was very involved in teasing them both. She was even borderline flirty which I don't think she actually intended. Unfortunately, our team was on the losing end of this match up and they let us know.
Fortunately, they played each other again in just a few weeks. We all decided we should get together to watch the game. It was a weekend game so we were invited to their house for the evening to watch it. They let us know they had a spare room we could use if we wanted to drink and stay over. Living almost an hour away, we thought it was a good idea to plan on it.
As game night approached, Don suggested that we make it more interesting with either some side bets, although not for money, or make a drinking game out of it. It sounded fun so we agreed and would come up with the ground rules once we were there.
The game started at 7pm and we arrived at their house at 5pm to pregame. They had a typical game day spread of wings, chips, salsa, and other tasty finger foods. We brought our own drinks, but there were plenty of other options on hand.
To our surprise and delight, Don casually informed me that he had weed available if we were into getting high. I like to get high from time to time although not often and Abby even less often, but it was not new to her and she enjoyed it occasionally. Even if she didn't want to participate, she didn't have any issue with it. I let her know quietly and she responded she was ready to party. I am not sure if she was really excited about getting high or just thought it would be a way to take the edge off her nerves. She always gets nervous in these types of situations.
