Struggling to Survive

Review of Chapter One:

Kara, a former stripper, met Tom after she had left her previous life behind and started work as a secretary. The two fell in love and married. Their family included the two of them, a son named Dean that Kara had from a previous relationship, and their son Sam.

Their life was happy until Tom lost his job. After a year of searching, he was unsuccessful in finding new work. They decided that Kara should start looking also to double their chances. To their surprise, Kara found a job immediately. This development built a wall of resentment between them that was difficult to tear down.

One day Kara lost her temper and quit her job, resulting in a fight between husband and wife. All of the bitterness from their dire financial situation made the couple lash out at each other and say things that shouldn't have been said. These words had lasting effects.

Kara was forced to go back to her employer and beg for her job back. Her boss was willing to help her, but it would cost her...

CHAPTER TWO

Kara Narrating:

I wiped my mouth with the paper towel to remove any traces of vomit as I stood hunched over the sink. Another image of Mr. Worthy's face contorted into a grimace of pleasure as he jammed his dick into my tonsils attacked my mind and sent me into another fit of hurling. I could hear his voice as he encouraged me and appraised my performance.

Yeah, that's it. Suck that big cock baby. That's how I like it.

Oh shit! You like that dick baby? Let me see those tits!

God you're fucking good at this. I'm 'bout to cum. Holy shit you're good at this! I'm 'bout to..."

HURL!

The taste of his semen will forever be imprinted in my memory. The feel of it as it shot down my throat was haunting. Truth be told, it wasn't that different than when I allowed Tom to cum in my mouth, at least physically. I never did care for it, but it was tolerable when it came from my husband. This was different though. It wasn't the taste or the texture that caused me grief. It was the circumstances.

The humiliation of being forced to surrender in such a way was too much to bear. Down on my knees before him, like I was worshipping him. Taking his miniature member into my mouth. Bobbing my head back and forth with his hand on the top of my head, like he was petting me for doing a good job.

Not to mention the fact that I'd betrayed my marriage. My husband's wife was on her knees, slurping away at another man's cock. My sons' mother swallowed another man's cum as he yelled obscenities at her.

You did it for them. You would do anything for your family.

That thought didn't make what I did any easier to swallow (no pun intended), nor make it seem heroic. I was mortified to be put in a position that would have me do that. I was hurt that any man would take advantage of a human being and use them like that for their personal pleasure. More than that though, I was livid!

I was pissed at Mr. Worthy, but that wasn't where my true anger was focused. I was furious with my husband. Here I was sucking a man's dick for money like a prostitute because he couldn't get a job. I needed a hero right now, and his cape was in the cleaners. He was supposed to be my protector. I'd always felt safe with him. From the first moment he came to my rescue all of those years ago, he had been my hero. Now I felt more alone than I have since we'd been married.

On top of that, something was unlocked in me during our argument that we had when he called me Jazmin. No matter what I felt about my past, Tom had always made me feel like I was a queen. With him, I never felt like

that woman.

When I was with him, she was like someone I used to know.

But when he said those things to me, it broke my carefully constructed prison. For the longest, I held a fantasy that my past was nonexistent to him. I thought that he saw Kara for who she was, not who she used to be. I now knew that even though he never said it, he still held some felt some type of way about my past.

No matter what the other men thought of me, he was supposed to see ME. When he brought up my past in that fit of anger, the shame of that period of my life seeped out from the corner of my brain that I banished it to. I felt more like a whore now than I ever did on stage shaking my ass and making it clap.

I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror for the final time. There was no trace of the dick sucking tramp that came into this bathroom crying her eyes out 15 minutes ago. With that I grabbed my purse and made my way home with the good news. I had my job back.

Whatever that was worth.

***

Tom narrating: Later on that night

I sat at the table and inquisitively looked at my wife. She silently picked at her plate with a faraway look of despondency on her face. She seemed lost in a world of troubles and turmoil.

This morning she did the bravest thing that I have ever witnessed. She went back to the job that she quit and begged her boss to take her back. I couldn't imagine the humility that it would take to do that. I had to respect her for it. She has always been a woman who did what she had to do, especially for her family. I loved her inner forte and resolve. It gave me strength to get back up day after day and look for jobs that weren't hiring.

She was honestly the strongest woman I know. She took her clothes off for complete strangers to feed her and Dean when her parents kicked her out. She hadn't even graduated high school. With no diploma and no job experience, she used the only assets that she had to put food on the table.

Her story didn't stop there though. So many young girls get involved in the lifestyle and get addicted to the fast money. She stayed grounded. She got her GED and then went to a trade school to learn to be a secretary. She did that during the day while she stripped at night.

When she opened up to me about her past, she told me that every guy who groped her put food on the table for her and Dean. That is how she dealt with it night after night. She just kept her mind on what she had to do.

That was the girl that I fell in love with. When she came to work at the company I used to work for, that was the girl who had me enamored. The soft woman with a quiet inner strength that could move mountains.

However, she had an Achilles Heel. It was her anger. The latent resentment that she felt towards men would rear its ugly head at the most inopportune times. It would completely blind her and make her act irrationally. She would do and say things that would get her in trouble. Like the situation with her boss.

I knew that it had something to do with her time as a stripper. The way that the men of that period treated her filled her with a natural cynicism.

It was almost like she was two different people. She was the soft, sweet, caring Kara that would lovingly talk to me about our future. Her smile was infectious. To meet her is to instantly like her.

She cried at movies. She laughed at all of my corny jokes. She sang Sam to sleep every night for the first few years of his life.

Then there was the other her. The one she kept hidden from most of the world. This was the Kara that was constantly being chased by Jazmin. The impulsive woman with the hair trigger anger who always felt she like had to keep her sword and shield raised. This woman didn't show herself most of the time. However, the moment a person made her flip that switch, all bets were off.

Of course, I didn't make things any better when I brought up her past. I knew how much it would hurt her when I did that. About as much as it hurt me knowing how little she thought of me.

After our oddly quiet dinner, the boys rushed off to their rooms to do...whatever young boys do at those ages. I'm sure it involved a fair amount of punching buttons on a game controller. Kara and I were left alone in the living room watching episodes of "The Homicide Hunter".

I decided to try to open the door for conversation. "I'm glad you were able to get your job back." I said, hoping to get things started. She grimaced slightly at that, and then brushed it off.

"For now. I don't expect to be there for too long." She said nonchalantly. I couldn't get a read on her. I didn't know if she was happy about it or not. It seemed like she was neither. More like she was...resolved. Like this was her fate and she was going to bear it.

Something else was off about her too. It was like she was closing me out. I wasn't a part of her inner circle anymore. Where I used to be invited into her mind, I was now being met at the door like a Jehovah's witness.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. We interacted and spoke to each other, but nothing was said. Nothing important anyway. All attempts to engage her was unsuccessful. We simply existed for the rest of the night until we crawled into bed. As we lay there, I decided that subtly inviting her to talk wasn't going to work. I had to force a conversation.

"Honey, are you okay? You seem distant."

"Why do you say that Tom?"

"Well, you've barely spoken to me. Are you...still mad about last night?"

I saw her face react to that question. Well, there's my answer.

"You mean when you brought up my past? Insinuated that the only reason why I was able to get a job before you was because I was giving out lap dances? Is that what you're asking if I'm angry about?"

This was not off to a good start. First of all, I thought we were past this argument. Things were said in the heat of anger, and we both were at fault.

"I'm sorry Kara. Okay. We both said things. I didn't mean what I said. I was just reacting to you calling me a wimp who can't provide for his family. You have no idea how much that hurt. I'm just so tired of fighting all of the time."

I could feel her soften up next to me. "I'm tired of fighting too Tom. And I'm also sorry about the things I said to you. I shouldn't have said that about you."

I reached over to hug her, and she rolled into my arms. It felt good.

"You know that I'm trying to get a job, right Kara? You know that I'm not just sitting around doing nothing."

She nodded at me like she understood, but it seemed a little automatic to me. I wasn't sure if she was actually acknowledging that she agreed with me, or if she was just responding because she heard me speaking.

"You do know that, don't you?"

"I know Tom. It's just hard for me. To have to go back to...that man and grovel for my job back. I...I..."

With that she burst into tears. All I could do was hold her and let her get it out. At that moment, I don't think I could feel like a lower piece of shit than I felt. I hated that I was unable to keep her from that humiliation. The only thing worse would have been if he made her give him sexual favors.

After a fitful night, we finally drifted off to sleep.

*********************

Kara narrating: Two weeks later

If I thought that I was going to be able to return to work as if nothing had happened in that office, I was so wrong. Not only did I have to deal with everyone knowing that I came crawling back after making my grand exit, I also got the impression that my "conversation" with Mr. Worthy didn't stay between the two of us. The jackals that constantly surrounded him and sang his praises seemed to be giving me knowing looks. Their eyes lingered a bit more when I walked by. They became bolder when they spoke to me, often times using double entendres and innuendos.

"I wish I had a secretary who worked as hard as you!" *Snicker*

"You must have been pretty convincing in that office to get old James to give you a second chance. I don't know what could have possibly 'cum' out of your mouth to get him to reconsider, but it must have been good." *chuckle*

Of course that fat peacock did nothing to quell the rumors. He just sat back, smiling smugly. He often leered at me lustfully. I tried my best to ignore it all as I stayed focused on my job.

Things continued in that vein until the day that I feared came. I was sitting at my desk writing up a memo to send out to the other employees. It was telling them that the company was going to be holding several meetings regarding the drop in sales over the next few months. Several big wigs were going to be there, including the Market Manager. I heard Mr. Worthy calling me into his office. I put that on pause and went to see what he wanted.

"Do you need me Mr. Worthy?" I asked as professionally as I could. Even then I realized my mistake.

"As a matter of fact, Mrs. Winchester, I do. Would you be so kind as to close the door and lock it?"

I knew where this was headed, and I had every intention of detouring that ragged road of regret. My insides were churning, though I kept my resolve calm. I had to think my way out of this. I couldn't respond with anger.

"Mr. Worthy, I would feel more comfortable with the door open Sir."

He seemed slightly taken aback by this. I don't know what he expected, but it wasn't off to the start that he hoped it would be. However, the blustering fool was not to be denied his dessert.

"I don't think you would want the door open for this Kara. You should close it."

Mentally taking a breath, I kept my calm. "Sir, anything you have to say to me, you can say with the door open." I was actually proud of myself at how cool I was being. He on the other hand, began to lose it.

"Kara, if I didn't know any better I would think that this was some kind of veiled attempt to avoid being alone with me."

I tried hard to avoid sarcasm. I really did. But a person can only be stretched so far. "I'm sorry Mr. Worthy. I didn't realize that it was veiled?"

He actually cracked a smile at that. It was still smug as hell, but there was a bit of humor in it too. However, the pleasantries were over. His next move had the subtlety of a rhinoceros in a glass shop.

"I doubt you want everyone to see me fucking you. Now close the God damn door!"

Even though I knew where he was heading with this, I was surprised at the bold audacity of his forceful command. He acted like I was denying him something he deserved. Like he owned me. I was losing the battle of keeping my Zen.

"That won't be happening

James

. Never. I told you that I wasn't going to be your whore. Now if you will excuse me, I have a lot of work to do."

That was when he pulled out his big guns. I was actually expecting it, so it came as no surprise when he said, "Well, I guess you can start cleaning out your desk. Make sure you let HR know where to send your final check."

Now I was pissed. But like I said, I saw this day coming. When I first came back to work, he pretended like nothing had happened. At least to my face. But within the second week he began to get bolder. It was only inevitable that he try his luck again.

But I was prepared for it. You see, I'd had time to think. To process. When I was down on my knees in front of him with my tits hanging out, I felt helpless. Listening to the sounds of my mouth sucking him degraded me. His moans of pleasure taunted me. Then that final grunt as he erupted into my mouth was the final nail. I was Jazmin. And I hated it.

Throughout the following weeks though, I saw through his bravado. I saw his weakness. He was so sure of himself, so confident in his invincibility, that even he failed to see the glaring holes in his armor. I was about to show him.

I tried to keep the smirk off of my face when I calmly said, "Will do sir. I guess I'll see you in court when I sue you for wrongful termination and sexual harassment."

When his face fell, I failed at keeping the smirk from mine. He wasn't done yet though. He got his bluster back and returned my volley.

"Those are bold claims Mrs. Winchester. You got any proof?" His chair creaked as he sat back in it and eyed me antagonistically. It was a challenge.

"No, I don't have any proof. But then again, do I really need any?" His eyes darted from side to side as he tried to figure out where I was going. I continued.

"We both know that any claim to sexual harassment made by a woman will be thoroughly investigated. Coworkers will be questioned. I'm sure that a lot of the men will have your back, but what about the women? When they're questioned, what do you think they will say? What do you think the investigators will uncover?"

He was beginning to lose that confidence that he had moments before. His calm demeanor was cracking, and giving way to anger. He struck back with the next weapon in his arsenal.

"They might find out what you did to get this job back, you fucking whore!" He spat at me. It did hurt to be called a whore, but I let that slide off of my back. I just laughed at him, like he was a stupid kid who didn't get it.

"I suppose they will. But tell me James, do you think that will help your case, or hurt it? When they sit your teary eyed secretary down - who by the way is your subordinate - what story will she tell? I'm guessing that she will engage them with a devastating tale a cruel, heartless man who took advantage of a desperate woman in need. This woman simply wanted to take care of her family. She came to her boss on bended knee, and he made her perform oral sex on him."

He was looking awfully uncomfortable, and I was thoroughly enjoying it. I'm guessing that he didn't envision this scenario going like this. I was actually curious if he still had an erection. Well, mildly curious.

"You think they will believe you? It'll be your word against mine." His voice cracked, betraying his false confidence. Inwardly, I smiled.

"Well, that's not exactly true. With all of the rumors floating around - the ones I'm sure you had no hand in spreading - I think there is enough smoke in the air to alert them to the fire. I'm sure your "good old boys" won't snitch on you directly, but do you think that they kept that juicy gossip to themselves? By the dirty looks that I've been receiving since I've been back, I think I can safely assume that the entire office has heard some kind of version of our "talk". I think the board will take great interest in these things. Of course, these alone may not do much. But all of these small pieces will fit together once I bring in the LAST secretary who worked here. Boy, when I talked to her on the phone she had a story to tell!" I whistled and shook my head to indicate how royally screwed he would be.

That was my Ace. The last secretary that I replaced. Her sudden departure was, until now, a mystery. That is, until I talked to my old friend Sandra. You see, Sandra, AKA Starlet, knew James personally. He was one of her regulars. He loves her lap dances. He's even paid her "other services". That's how she knew he had a job opening. She was quick to tell me about it when I told her I was looking for work. She also tried to warn me about him. When I realized that things were headed in this direction at the office, I asked her for advice. She told me to find the secretary that I replaced and get her story. An hour on the phone with her let me know that I would never be on my knees for that small dicked asshole again. She was unwilling to testify and expose herself, but the fact that there was something there to bluff with was enough. I was saving that bomb for a day such as today.

The look that he gave me let me know that I sunk his battleship. That is when he lost his shit completely.

"YOU FUCKING CUNT! I WONDER WHAT YOUR HUSBAND WILL THINK WHEN I TELL HIM ABOUT YOU SUCKING MY COCK!"

I was finding that the angrier he got, the calmer I became. I was in control, and we both knew it. There isn't a feeling on this earth that is better than completely owning an asshole who has wronged you.