Star Studded Part 3
The conclusion.
Wednesday morning Gwen was checking her email for bills and answering correspondence that just could not be put off. Though their friends knew not to contact them, the world hadn't stopped for just Gwen. There, nestled among the appropriate emails, was one from the "friend" who had started the wrecking ball rolling at the block party. Gwen was about to delete it cursing Susan for her incapacity to understand boundaries when the subject line reached for her.
It was a plea for Gwen not to delete the message. Reluctantly, feeling she was playing the fool, Gwen opened the message. There was a brief description and an attachment followed by an apology. The link was to a recording of their entire conversation, made for their friend who just gave birth and could not attend the block party. The recording contained everything Gwen said: her remonstration of the women and her impassioned defense of Lee. Susan hoped maybe it could help, saying Gwen's words about her husband were the most romantic heartfelt words she'd ever heard. Gwen decided to listen to the recording that night after her husband went to bed. She hoped it contained something that could break their impasse.
The next morning Lee came into the kitchen dressed for work looking for coffee and breakfast. Gwen, looking tired and bedraggled, told Lee of the email and recording, adding that she'd forwarded the attachment to him already. She sounded defeated. He asked why. Her reply surprised him.
"We've talked about it all already. You still love me, but your enthusiasm and passion are damaged, you feel betrayed. I know you don't like what I did. But the facts that I'm sorry about it and it all happened before I met you hasn't moved you. Or perhaps that's what's kept you from leaving me already. Perhaps this is the best I can hope for. I'm not sure how this will help, but there it is, you can finally hear what you missed the day this all blew up. I wasn't about to keep another secret from you; I hated having one in the first place."
Lee took her hand.
"Where are we going?" Gwen asked softly.
"To bed."
"You'll be late," she thought aloud, confused.
"Yes, I will," he gave her a smile.
"Why?"
"I love you and need to prove it to you."
Gwen's eyes grew huge as she accidentally performed a wonderful imitation of a loyal puppy, trotting along beside him while never taking her eyes from his face.
Lee made slow love to her. At first, she was reluctant, as if touching her would soil him. As soon as he made it clear he was touching her anyway, she clung to him desperately. Lee wasn't sure if she was in a constant state of arousal or just barely aroused at all because of all her other emotions. Gwen loved Lee having her. Life can get complicated; this was as simple and clear as it got.
He said afterwards, "I love you. I'm working it out. I have no plans to leave you."
To his surprise Gwen became almost despondent, "Part of you HAS left me, I guess I should feel grateful for what still loves me. I think part of you has left you too. I can feel it Lee, you aren't happy like you used to be. I don't think my current behavior is a self-fulfilling prophesy, though I acknowledge my being glum can't help you feel rosy."
She looked directly at him, "I hurt you! That's the last thing in the world I wanted. The last! Worse, I don't know how to make this better, I don't know how to restore your smile or replace it with a new one, even if I give up on restoring the old one I want so badly. I love you completely!"
Gwen saw a shadow flash across his face. "Wait that's it, isn't it? You aren't so upset about my... being with that man as much as... oh My God, it was my keeping it a secret!"
Lee's old energy flashed in his eyes. Gwen felt like yelling Eureka, it might have shaken up their conversation although it would have sent the right signal.
"You really don't feel compared to him, do you?"
Lee's face danced with myriad emotions. Gwen was sure she was on the right track. She could tell Lee wanted to tell her something but held back. She pondered whether that was because he'd been off balance so long or because she had to figure it out herself.
Lee started to speak then faltered, or stopped himself, "It's that..."
"It's what, Lee? Please tell me!"
He looked confused as if part of him wanted to be happy and another part didn't. "I can't take off work any more right now, I have to go. I promise we will talk."
Gwen understood now, as Lee quickly gathered himself and shot out the door. Gwen reviewed, "I have to get it AND act on it. Okay, so I know that I must act, just not what the exact action needs to be or how it needs to be performed. But that's a start, and it's a whole lot better than what I had to work with last night.
Lee came in from a day at work made long by his constant distraction. Was Gwen finally figuring this mess out? He'd resisted leading her. She had to do this on her own for him to be convinced. He'd left a trail of breadcrumbs that she hadn't seemed to have noticed. This morning however held the hint of breakthrough, he wondered how far and how fast she could move. He appreciated her devotion but couldn't understand how she didn't see she'd undercut it all.
Lee sobered further, Gwen loved him, but perhaps not unconditionally. For the first time he'd been forced to ponder how much, as the secret seemed to be a limit she wouldn't go beyond. He liked her fawning on him, for now, who wouldn't, yet he needed real progress. He thought, 'She doesn't like living like this, huh? Well, it's all up to her. I can't drive us forward, it's all in her hands.'
Lee hoped, fervently, she finally got it. He was losing his composure; he was sick of backwards multiplication. He felt hope beginning to drain away, which explained his strange reaction as he walked in the door and saw his wife; a vision of loveliness, a veritable goddess in front of him.
Gwen was standing in the kitchen, her long hair down and curled, cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall, her hips round and full, framed by her garter belt leading to thigh high stockings dripping down shapely legs, capped on pedestals of four-inch heels.
Her makeup was perfect; she had a way of accentuating her lips, small nose, and her luscious large eyes and brows, that made him incapable of seeing anything else. Lee had seen this look before. Gwen had sworn afterwards she had on a ton of makeup, yet to Lee, it looked so effortless, so natural. Ah, the wonders of womanhood.
To offset the slinky flowing sex-kitten look, Gwen was quickly and jerkily removing her robe throwing it off to the side, trying to strike a pose just for him that she'd obviously put thought into. The scene was a wonderful juxtaposition for those few seconds: at once so Gwen, while also such a fantasy bombshell.
Lee stood for a second drinking her in. However, he didn't move to have her, he didn't move to embrace her, and God help them both, he didn't look all that happy.
Gwen felt her heart sink then nodded. It was a determined nod though, saying she understood. Lee's heart leapt; could this be the breakthrough he'd prayed for?
Gwen spoke in a smooth earnest tone, "Lee, I think I get it. Still, I don't think I get all of it yet. I'm tempted to ask you about parts I don't fully understand. Buuut, I don't think that's what you need me to do. Sooo, Lee," she tried to strike a mini pose now, one foot in fantasy for him, the other clearly as his loving wife and partner in reality. "I think I grasp a really important part; I want to tell you what I think and then sort of ask for direction; direction only Lee, not for a hint, not for answers. I think I know what I need to do, and I feel I need to do it in a particular way, but damn my eyes Lee, I don't think I have that particular-way part down yet.
"S-So, I had a plan. I-I wanted to make a gift of this, and of me, to you." She waved her hand up and down like a model on a game show displaying her made up body. "I-I hope you can enjoy me again after what I'm about to tell you. Even if you aren't interested in my offer, I wanted you to see how much I respect you and want to please you. Whether I get this next part right or not, I need you to know that every part of me is yours; that I'm holding nothing back... anymore."
Those last words were of incredible interest to Lee.
She watched his eyebrows raise, "Yeah, my love, that's encouraging. I hope I'm on the right track. And Lee, I can't apologize enough if I'm wrong. In either case, please take my apology. My attempt to protect us... I-I messed it all up. I know you've heard that too much already. You need action, so here goes!"
Gwen now bent forward, not as a pose; she was trying to get closer almost trying to inject her words into him.
"Lee, there's no one I trust more than you. In fact, I trust you more than myself now. So, there's still one part of the... the secret I kept from you; one last thing you don't know. It's the last part Lee, the very last part. There will be nothing hidden or kept from you after this. I don't want to keep secrets from you. I didn't mean to disrespect you by not telling you.
