The story is complete and finished. It is long; eleven chapters. I don't have an editor and need one. To ask someone to edit something the length of a novel would be abusive at best. I have used the finest tech, ahem, that Microsoft Word can furnish. For my part besides writing it, I have proof read this eight times. Oy! Distressingly, I am not a paragon of grammar, one of many failings. I fervently hope there is something here for you to enjoy.
Splashdown Chapter 2
Gary
Peg was happy to see me that night, eagerly wanting to know if Kathy helped me as she placed grocery bags on the kitchen counter. She was trying to hide it, but she was nervous.
"Yes Baby, Doctor K basically took away several worries of mine. And couple that with my transfer to desk duty for a while and I have lots of happy time to spend with you."
"That's great." Peggy answered. Then we looked at each other for a while. I had learned a long time ago that silence made most people uneasy. Peg did not rattle easily, hence astronaut. But she was anxious to know if I was alright. She was also curious as hell about what we talked about.
I let her stew by going to the fridge and taking out the vodka from the freezer. I turned trying not to let my amusement show. I teased the topic, "Oh, I get it. You understand I did not want to worry you with my concerns so that's why I spoke to Kathy. And now since I said she took some of my worry away you want me to reveal what those worries were."
"Yes, exactly!" Peg jumped towards me kneeling on a chair beside the table, like I was about to share a secret of juicy tidbit of gossip. I put two big ice cubes in a wide glass then turned back towards the counter grabbing a knife and orange. When I turned back, she was staring at me open mouthed.
"Wow Gary, did you just tease freeze me? Oh my Gosh, I will have to torture you in the bedroom tonight." She suddenly looked worried for an instant. I wondered what that was about.
I asked slowly, "So, do you want to kno..."
"YES!"
"Okay, let me finish my drink, but you have to sit on my lap."
"Yes Sir," she cooed seductively.
"Crap you are good at that," I told her. Peggy had my number and we both knew it.
She beamed, "I had a wonderful teacher."
"Yes, and I have a wonderful headmaster." Peggy smiled at my entendre as I put the orange slice in the glass with the ice and let the Grey Goose cover it. I set the bottle down and sat in the chair beside her. Peg hopped up and straddled me in my chair.
She began to unbutton her cotton shirt; she wore nothing underneath.
"I thought I would go braless the rest of my time here in preparation of six months in a sports bra."
"Why do you need a bra up there? They can't sag, there's no gravity up there. Besides yours defy gravity down here."
Peg answered quickly giving me a factual answer, "Modesty." She saw me wince. The corner of her mouth turned down. She now knew she had another sort of problem to think about. Peggy correctly thought it best to stick to the original subject before breaching another.
"What did Kathy say?"
"She said we could still have children," I answered honestly with a broad smile.
"What?" Peg was stunned.
"The shielding in your body and that floating Winnebago up there is enough that your eggs will be fine, and we can still have a family."
Peggy's jaw fell, it took several attempts before she could form words with it again, "Jesus Gary, you ... you thought I would be sterile?" She was shaken that I had not shared such an important concern.
"No, I feared your eggs would be compromised making our having children unwise."
She stared at me on the verge of tears. "Christ, I never even thought ..."
"I know. I didn't want you up there worrying about some worry of mine."
"Wait, so ... so you were going to let me go? Even if my trip had that terrible outcome?"
"Could you possibly not go? I mean it's been your whole life."
She was confused, "It's been most of my life. Then I met you and you are catching up quickly." She smiled at her joke expecting me to follow along. When I didn't, she perceived there may be another unforeseen problem and rushed her dialog. "But Gary, our family, our future, you were going to let that go?"
"No, I was going to let you go ... to the space station. I am not going to be the reason you don't go. Baby, I want you to go, I think you HAVE to go. I was simply wondering just how significant the price was going to be. It's always better to decide up front to pay a high price instead of finding out later that you already have. I had to find out what the risk actually was before I could figure out any plan of action."
"Gary ... you still wanted me to go?"
"Baby, if that really was a problem, then I wanted to make sure you knew that even if wiping away our planned future was in the deck, that as long as I have you, my future will be fine."
Peggy was shaking her head overwhelmed, "Oh God, I've heard of this scenario. There is some emergency, and the wife can either save her children or her husband, a lot of women will choose the future, meaning the kids, and let their husband die.
She thought it through, her conclusion blanking her face, "Gary you faced that choice. And you decided to save me and let the children go."
I nodded, "That's an interesting academic discussion. But really, I was only confirming if I did have to make that choice. I didn't," I shrugged deciding to follow the idea out. "If I really had to decide between kids that were living and real, it would depend on a number of factors: if the kids are very young then the parents could probably have more -- never replacements but different kids. The point being the couple could still have a family. However, if the kids are older, have promise for humanity, and have well-established personalities then it becomes a real choice.
"For many women however, the man is sworn to die protecting them, the children were what she owed both their families and species: if the kids lived so did their father in a way, so you serve him best by letting him die. And of course, find a new man to share their lives, raise the kids, and sleep with the wife."
I shook my head ruefully and gestured in a sweeping motion with my arms,
"I'm not saying saving the kids would not be the right call for us, but I would take no solace in another man living what should have been my life. Perhaps another man might take solace there, not me."
Peggy was hard to read, she was both troubled and flattered. It seemed the one aggravated the other.
"You would choose me, Gary? You knew my priorities concerning space and that I put off our original timeline for children in the hopes that I would be chosen to go up. That would piss some men off, but you agreed to put off having our kids. But if we had them, you would still choose me."
Peggy was equal parts flattered by how besotted I must be with her and abashed at how badly she had underestimated my concern regarding her not telling me about the change in her mission's duration.
My answer was simple, "I have chosen you. I don't know if other folks would agree with our choices: they don't have a career like yours. I also don't' know our kids yet. In fact, as the eggs are not fertilized, they are just eggs, not our children. We want our kids to do something grand for humanity, right? What are the chances they will do more for our species than what you will do with your flight? You are helping us reach another planet and then all the other planets beyond."
"But Gary, you have talked about kids since we got really serious. It was a concern marrying me. Once we even talked about when I might retire from active space consideration and having our kids late in the game, but still having them. Children have been important to you since the beginning."
"Yes," What was I supposed to do, say something like, "You can't always have what you want?" I let the one word handle it.
"So, you would give them up? Have you had a change of heart?"
"Space was your dream before you were my dream. Space was your dream before you knew me. If you never married, you would stay with the space program for the duration, not just until your flying days are up. Most likely you wouldn't have kids. It's your dream, your life, it's who you are. How can we be together if I make you deny your nature? Could you ever look at me again? Would you see me as the man who you love, or the man who stole your purpose from you? Even if you were not resentful of me, would you still be able to love me?"
Her lips parted of their own volition as she stared at me.
"I love you, Peg. I want you. I chose you, not as a baby incubator, though I would still like that eventual outcome, but as you. I want to have my children with you. I don't want my kids anymore: I very much want our kids. And if I can't have that I'm not interested. If you were sterile, I would not leave you just to have kids. Understand?"
She was actually digging her nails into my neck without realizing as she searched my eyes for, well, everything. Peg digging her nails into anything was a challenge as she was a worker; she kept her nails short.
"Gary, you would give up having children ... so that I could be ... happy? What if I could not be happy without children?"
"Then that's your call to not go up, not mine. I'm sorry I can't make that call. I won't. My decision would be that you go, that you fulfill your destiny. I'm not sure I really believe in destiny per se, but you catch my drift."
"But Gary you really were going to give up your dream of children to facilitate my dream of space flight?"
"Yes. If that was the verdict, but it isn't. We will still be fine having kids."
"Jesus Gary, I want to have children, our children and I plan to! But that you would make that huge sacrifice on my behalf ... I don't believe I have ever been this turned on. I was going to tease you, rub your ice cube all over my nipples and entice you into bed. Now I think I'm going to stand up and take off our pants and re-straddle you right here."
"A decision that profound should not be thwarted."
She did, and we enjoyed the fruits of her decisiveness. I love a strong-minded woman!
