I just dropped my friend off at his hotel and was in the car trying to get the willies of us hugging goodbye off of me before calling my husband. Oscar was one of those boys I had feelings for before my failed first marriage. It had been 25 years and I still had that teenage what-could-have-been-feeling every time we spent more than ten minutes talking. Whenever we got together, I felt like I was cheating on my husband because I couldn't keep my feelings in check, like Oscar and I were perpetually trying to click. It made me so itchy I could barely have a civil conversation with him.
Oscar was married, but didn't talk about his wife for probably sad reasons. I had to make the call before I got on the road. It was snowing really bad and I needed to hear my husband's voice, reminding me I wasn't a cheating whore like my ex. I got him on the phone. I told him where I was and that I just hugged Oscar goodnight. My husband, Harry, didn't understand what that meant and even if he did, did not see that as cheating no matter what I was feeling. He'd say, "It's just a hug." And predictably he did.
I was just about to hang up when I saw a flash of light at the end if the road and one by one the street lights went black until I was swallowed by darkness. It was snowing so bad and I couldn't see the exit to the parking lot much less the road. Harry told me to go back to Oscar's hotel room and wait till the power came back on. He knew what the roads looked like and driving at night with no street lights was suicide.
Oscar let met in while he spoke with the front desk on the landline. Their hot water was powered by modern gas and the room had old radiant gas heater that would keep the room from freezing but wasn't super efficient. Extra blankets were in the closet. The power was really knocked out and the road closed. I was trapped.
I called Harry back. He was adamant that I stay with Oscar until the power was restored. I knew why he said that and it made perfect sense except this was the wrong man for me to be doing that. I asked him for money so I could get a room, and he blew me off.
"Do they even have rooms available? How are you going to pay with a dead credit card machine?"
I foolishly tried to sway him with jealously by reminding him Oscar was an old romance. Harry snorted on his milk. Me having an affair was laughable. I hung up so pissed off, Oscar waited till I was settled till he said anything, but I asked him first,
"You tell your wife what's going on?"
That's went I found out Oscar was divorced for more than six months. He told me what happened and while I heard it in his voice earlier, I was too pissed at my husband to notice it. Oscar invited me under his blanket. He was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. He might as well have been naked.
I declined. He let me know the front desk said the heaters would probably keep the room above 50. Dressed in my warmest clothes I was already cold, my shoes wet from the snow. I took off my shoes and took a pair of Oscars socks, got under the covers and called Harry back on speaker.
"Just so you know. I'm under the covers, in bed with my old boyfriend."
They said "Hi" to one another, both amused by my discomfort. I made a point to lay out as flatly as possible that I would have to cocoon myself in bed with a half naked man. Harry mocked my concern, telling me I should drive in the dark until I ran off the road and froze to death.
Oscar listened to me rant. He hadn't met Harry, but he knew and despised my ex and all the baggage that went along with him. We both had a few drinks and were still a little warm, not remotely drunk or anything, just feeling it enough to speak our minds about shit. Oscar listened patiently while I ranted. He did it a lot before, during and after my ex.
I looked at him,
"Did I not just tell him, I was literally in bed with someone that could have replaced my ex?"
When I rant, shit just comes out of my mouth. I waited for his answer. He leaned close and our mouths snapped together like magnets. He wrapped his arms around me and we caught up on the passionate kissing we lost all those years ago. Once my potential guilt caught up with me, we stopped and I rested my head on his chest. He nuzzled my hair.
"You know I've wanted to hear those words for twenty-five years." He said.
"What words?"
"The guy that could have replaced your ex."
Oscar went on about how my ex pissed him off. How I changed for the worse, sadder, less happy after I got married. How he felt the same about me being that could-have-been-girl. Then he surprised me.