It was dark when I awoke. The only light was the soft, neon glow of my alarm clock across the bed. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, slowly turning in the sheets till I could see the outline of my husbands face in the dark. He was beautiful and sweet and kind and I hated myself more and more with each passing second. I leaned over and gently kissed his temple. He murmured a sleepy sound and then was still again. I cursed myself and slid out of bed. When he wakes up, he'll think I've gone to work, but I wasn't going to work today.
As quickly as a could I pulled on my sexiest pair of emerald green panties and a bra to match. I'd been thinking of him when I bought them. They were soft and lacy and the panties were cut high in the back, accenting my rather voluptuous rear. I almost felt silly. Would he even notice? Would there even be time to notice? I'd gone through every outfit I could think of in my head. From dresses to naughty negligees but none of that was really me. He'd told me I was all he wanted and I planned to give him just that. I settled on a pair of tight, dark washed jeans that my ass looked amazing in, a black tank top and just for fun, a pair of black patent stiletto heels.
I started to fuss with my hair in the bathroom mirror. It was short now, for the first time in a long time. Not unlike how it had been, when we'd been together. For a moment I regretted cutting off all my long red hair. I wondered if he would have preferred my long sexy locks to my now short and choppy cut. Though I had to admit it was cute. My short bangs and layers, framing the pale, smooth skin of my face. "I hope he likes it." I whispered to myself.
No more time to fuss. Time was flying by with every second I lingered here and I knew I wanted desperately to have him for as long as I could. I threw on a light cardigan, grabbed my purse and slipped out the door into the dark. The night air hit me, cool and crisp. The rain had stopped and the air smelled alive and intoxicating. My nipples were instantly rock hard under my shirt and I realized I was shaking, but I knew it wasn't from the cold.
I practically ran across the parking lot to my car, my keys giggling as I went. I breathed a sigh of relief to find it ice free as I didn't want to waste another minute fumbling with the defrost. I slid into my seat, turned the ignition and the engine came to life. As I reach to put the car into drive, I hesitated a moment. This was crazy. What was I doing? I closed my eyes and tried to think of my husband sleeping, safe and warm in our apartment. How could I do this to him. But it wasn't his face I saw when I closed my eyes. It was another face. The face of the man I was so desperate to see. His eyes, dark and hungry. So vivid I could almost taste him. A fired burned deep inside me and I knew, no matter what it meant, I couldn't refuse him.
I opened my eyes, took a deep haggard breath, one last glance back at my apartment door and then I was on my way.
I don't even remember the drive to the hotel. I was trying not to think, desperately wanting to floor it and speed my tiny car as fast as I could to the other side of town, but terrified if I got pulled over I might come to my senses. I might turn around and go home. If I was smart, I'd turn around now and spare the man I loved the heartache I seemed too eager to cause him. But I couldn't turn around now. I was a woman possessed. Tonight, I wasn't looking for love. I wanted pain. I wanted release.
I pulled into the hotel and parked in back. Reaching for my door handle, I seemed suddenly out of breath. My mind screamed at me to stay in the car but my loins begged me to go, go to him now. With a snarl and threw open the car door and leaped back out into the darkness. Every step I took towards the hotel room seemed to last an eternity. I was nearly stumbling over my Stilettos, drunk on a lust as I reached for the door. My fingertips brushed the doorknob and I paused.
It had been so long. I hadn't seen him since before I was married and It had been 7 years since the last time we'd been lovers. Would he be disappointed with the woman I'd become? I knew I was still sexy. Not a day went by that I didn't turn a head or two, but I wasn't 20 anymore. I'd put on a little weight. I wasn't quite so taunt in all the right places as I'd once been. Would he turn me away the moment he laid eyes on me? Fear washed over me and I was paralyzed. I stood there in the cold, staring at the door handle; too terrified to turn it but too desperate to walk away.
I closed my eyes and his face was there again, close to mine. I could almost feel his sweet, warm breath on my neck. My skin exploded in goosebumps. The heat between my legs flared and I knew there was no going back. With a deep breath I turned the handle and stepped through the door.
The Hotel room was dark accept for a bedside lamp, illuminating his sun weathered, freckled skin. He sat on the corner of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, shoulders hunched; his head in his hands, eyes fixed to the floor. He didn't look up as I closed the door. I drank him in with my eyes. His black t-shirt just tight enough to see the outline of his biceps, the line of his jaw, his chest rising and falling with each slow breath. He hardly looked a thing like the boy I remembered.
He slowly raised his eyes to look at me. His face, impossible to read. I swallowed hard and stared back at him. He was like a broken angel, a devil with a human heart. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Why wasn't he saying anything? And that's when I knew, my fears we're right. He was disappointed in me. He'd made a huge mistake and now he was biding his time trying to think of a way to get out of this. What a fool I'd been. I bit my lip and fought back tears. I'd save him the embarrassment and leave before he had a chance to say anything. I reached back for the door handle and he spoke.
"Hey," he said. I froze. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. He cocked his head at me, "You alright?"he asked. I tired to speak but my voice caught in my throat. I nodded and he stood up and began to walk towards me. On his second step he winced and I realized he was limping. I fought the urge to run to his side.
He was inches from me now, looking up at me through the most lovely hazel eyes and smiling his Cheshire cat grin. He was taller than I remembered but still not as tall as me in my stilettos.
"Since when do you wear heels?"he laughed. I cleared my throat.
"You don't like them?"I looked down, avoiding his stare.
"No, they're nice. I'm just not used to you being taller than me."
"Oh," I said and reached down to slide off first my right and then my left heel. As a placed my bare, left foot back to the floor I stumbled forward into him. He caught me against his chest and held me there. I started to back away but his strong arms didn't budge. I laid my head against his chest and breathed him in. His smell made me dizzy and I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding. It sounded like a jackhammer in my ears.
Both hands on my shoulders, he pushed me back till we were face to face. As we stared at each other, he reached up with one rough hand and softly swept the hair from my face. I nearly gasped. His skin against mine was electric. I placed my palm against his chest and slowly traced the curve of his body, down his stomach, turning my hand at his hips to slide my fingers ever so slightly under the waistband of his cargo's, then all the way back up, over his stomach, past his chest and shoulder to the back of his neck. He pulled me against him. His hardness pressing into me. His lips so close to mine I could hardly stand it. Desire pulsed through me like wild fire. I had never wanted anyone so badly in my life. And then he kissed me