She Deserves Bigger & Better!

This is something that happened last weekend, It's basically an after Sam make up and repair weekend. It won't be to everyone's tastes, as some of you have read and left comments as to me being gay, I'm not. That Jess should leave me, bloody hope not, I should leave her, I won't. This marriage works for us, despite it's ups and downs, We love each other and that counts!

Also a sincere thank you to All your comments/feedback, good and bad, I need them all. To you who have followed me also- Thank you. Pete.

As I mentioned, it's awkward for Jess and me to have any meaningful discussion about things with her friend Nia and sister Ejo, who are staying in our home. Don't get me wrong, they're both delightful in their own way, Nia's leg and ankle are fully recovered, and Ejo is still strangely besotted with me. However, except that one time the first morning the pair arrived here, nothing like that has repeated itself, likewise with Nia, who has a trim figure, just slightly more busty than Jess, never the less other than an occasional hug and a kiss, sometimes either good morning or goodnight to one or both Jess and I, we all keep our distance, but having them here means the house is kept clean and tidy, breakfasts are organised, evening meals prepared, even cooked on time, shopping is mostly done, Jess did take them both out one late afternoon after school, clothes shopping at our nearest shopping centre.

But Jess and I are never really alone, and there is always a gap.

Friday evening after dinner, cooked by the sisters and ready when I got home from work, I had started back on local work Monday, sometimes thinking about going back to doing continental work away.

Jess has been swimming and going to the gym this last week, and she has taken to running with Nia twice, leaving Ejo to cook.

Anyway, on Friday after dinner, I told Nia that they would be fending for themselves overnight on Saturday evening because I was taking Jess up to the Lakes. I didn't mention I'd booked to return to the same B&B where we stayed that very first time Jess and I had done 'the deed' and she lost her virginity. I hoped it would tell Jess something--that I still wanted her now, as I did back then--and maybe help to heal us. Jess and I haven't made love since Sam's arrival here nearly a month ago.

Everything else is nearly back to normal. We kiss briefly in the morning, and when saying goodnight when we go to bed, we often turn away to sleep; there's a gap.

I didn't tell Nia that, of course, but I did ask her to pack a couple of outfits for Jess--some makeup, a hairbrush, etc.--in an overnight bag early Saturday morning and put it in the back of my car, as I was only going to tell Jess we were going for a drive out somewhere to talk.

On Saturday morning, Jess showered as I shaved; I saw she had carried out body hair removal before showering; I was well into that itchy period when one's pubic hair regrows; there didn't seem much point nowadays; Patrina had left the building, so to speak; for now anyway, though I have gone back to wearing boy shorts, I find them most comfortable to wear.

As Jess was drying herself, I asked her to take a drive with me today as we needed to talk. She said, "Yes, okay."

then went and sat in the bedroom to blow dry her hair. When I went in, I dropped a towel around my waist to find clothes to wear on my side of the bed. I'd dropped the towel, putting on a pair of grey boy shorts Jess bought for me for work months ago. She turned her head to look at me, seeing the panties I had on. She smiled, then said,

"Don't give up, Pete; just please, don't leave; just don't give up on you and me yet; yes, let's talk."

I'm pulling on my jeans when, in reply, she says, "Yes, let's talk it through and see."

Jess was looking in her wardrobe when I had a lumberjack-style shirt hung over my jeans, a better shirt, plus a t-shirt in a carrier bag in the car.

"I'm going for coffee. See you downstairs, okay, Jess."

In the car heading to the M6 northbound, she asked,

"Where are you heading? Where are you taking me? I thought you'd head to the beach somewhere to talk."

"You can talk love while I drive; firstly, please, truths only today if we are going to sort anything out at all today, and it has to be today, Jess, your last chance to repair the bridge, but only by being completely honest with each other, so go ahead, Jess, tell me about Sam."

"You say the truth, Pete, but I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have, so can't we just forget about Samuel and his bloody brothers, please, Pete, can we?"

"Well, sweetheart, I'll keep heading north for as long as you remain silent about your young lover, if necessary, right up to Dunnet Head. And you'll love the views; Scotland is beautiful this time of year."

"All right, all right, I give in. The truth is, three years ago, I fell deeply in love with a wonderful, kind, gentle man, a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and have 2.4 ******** with, one of each. And I still do want that so very much, but, Peter, I'm sorry this is going to hurt. No, sorry, but you'll have to stop at the next services, okay? Then I'll try again."

I drove in silence for about twenty miles, then pulled in. Both of us went to the toilet. I got two coffees, which we took back to the car. Sitting facing each other, I said,

"Well, Jess, continue with what you were saying; start at but. But what, Jess?"

"Okay Peter, the first thing is that I truly love you and want us eventually to start a family, and not just to please my mother or yours either, but, and sorry, but here it comes, Peter my darling, sh*t, fuck it, you have a small cock and you cum too quickly, you don't come properly either, and at best you rarely cum twice in a night. We found the best sex position for both of us, but how the hell does that make me pregnant??

I love our lovemaking; I adore that you have always taken care of me; you give me orgasms, sometimes more than one; you have made me squirt numerous times; you are a damn good lover, but in a limited way."

We drank our coffee, and then she continued,

"You had said several times about how I should experience being fucked by A) a bigger cock, B) having an orgasm having sex, C) several times in one fucking session, and D) several sessions in one night.

Then you started liking to watch me dance, and then, exposing myself to being touched and fondled, even by black guys, you actively encouraged me to kiss, be kissed, be touched up, and be undressed by black guys.

In that nightclub in Manchester, remember me saying, Take me back to the hotel? I was horny for you, Pete, and wanted you to make love to me. Remember what you said and what you told me to do?

You told me to go back into that group of horny black guys and kiss the youngest one there, and you knew that it wouldn't be just a kiss; you allowed him to near strip me naked, and you let him put that big cock down my throat, swallowing his jizz, and I had an orgasm with someone else, not my husband and only lover.

Even then, it was you encouraging me to fulfil your dream of me, your wife, to experience a much bigger cock than yours, and that night it happened, when you fucked me as I sucked another man's cock, and what a cock, but true to form, you last all of two minutes if that, but you'd built up the need in me, and so I let it happen. Another man used a huge cock not only to fuck me, as you watched, but Aiden, the first black man, gave me three orgasms without a pause. That was it. I was hooked. It was big black cocks for me in the future.

Erm, why have we come off the motorway here? I thought you said Scotland; this is to the Lakes; there's that lovely little cafe just a couple of miles away, where we sat outside in the gardens; do you remember it? Can we stop there for old time's sake, please?"

So we stopped there and had lunch. I said something along the lines of

"So you remember this place then? It must be what about three years since we last stopped by?"

"But of course, I remember; it was our first weekend away; it was the first; omg, it was that weekend; you made me; you took my virginity in the cute little B&B, you know, that old couple running it. I'd love to drive past the place for old time's sake; do we have time, Pete?"

Back in the car, I glanced at my watch, pretending to check the time, then said,

"I suppose for old times sake we could drive around the Lakes first, but you haven't mentioned Sam yet; trying to avoid that subject is too painful for you."

"No, Pete, not to me but to you, and I'd sooner not hurt you even more, so can't you just accept that I'm so sorry and let us just get on with the rest of our lives, please, Pete? Sh*t, have you deliberately bought me here because this is where we really started as a couple? Three years, four months ago, we started here, and you're planning on ending it here, yeah? Omg, that makes you as big a b*stard as him, fucking Samuel."

"Sweetheart, I'm not P."

"Fucking stop saying that; stop with the sweetheart; you've never said that before; Sam called me that; I fucking hate it, so don't call me bloody sweetheart; I'm nobody's bloody sweetheart!"

"As I was about to say, Jess, I'm not planning on anything untoward; I plan to try and bridge the huge gap that is in our relationship, heal wounds, so to speak, but the reason for the gap and any wound comes from you, your feelings towards Sam, towards me, towards our marriage. I want to repair our marriage, but I've no idea about you anymore.

I agreed to the sexual FLR within our marriage, you had almost total sexual freedom, shared freedom, but did not agree to an FLM, where you can swear love to other men, humiliating me in the process, upping sticks to move a couple of hundred miles away, not with one man, one lover, but three men, plus over the course of 10--12 weeks, hundreds of men, mostly black men despite all the warnings not only from me, but from your long-term friends Nia for one, and for why Jess, all because of you and Sam."

"Let's go and park up near the lake; you want me to talk about Sam and me; well, be safer parking up and walking the lakeside path because A) safer not driving; B) if you dump me, at least it's not so far to the station."

So, that's what we did. We parked the car and walked the pathway. I held her hand as we walked down some steps to the path and saw no reason to let go. Not too many people were about, but enough to create pauses in conversation.

"The first time I saw Sam down in Bristol, that first evening when we were all chatting, getting to know one another, having drinks, even dancing, I spotted this handsome guy over by the door, my heart skipped a beat I'm sure, his dark flawless skin, bright, clear dark eyes, and when he smiled, his face light up, and I felt so attracted to him, I got a bit damp down, just looking at the way he was undressing me with those sexy dark eyes, fuck, I was getting horny thinking to myself, now that I could fuck all night long, and found myself getting wet just at the thought, then Abam kissed me as we danced, and again seconds later because I'd stopped, shocked and surprised, I mean you were there sitting, just feet away, then when I looked again to the doorway, he, (Sam) had gone, leaving me wet and horny.

The next time I saw him, early the next afternoon, I was with Nia naked in her bedroom. He spoke to Nia but was looking at me; both Sam and I were looking at each other with obvious lust. Boy, did I ever want to see a cock more than right then? But he went back out.

Much later, after returning from Mark Tully's little party and even later after the two brothers had fucked me raw, it was maybe 4 a.m. (ish), and he bought a tray of drinks up to our bedroom. You and Ejo had just finished clean-up duties in preparation for the final session of the night, but Sam swore he would see me before we left for home, as he needed to fuck me also, but as you know, we left for home early.

Home, bed, and sleep, but then waking up, my first thought was not of you or the weekend with everything that had gone on but of him, Samuel, and how he turned me on--a fleeting thought of regret because he hadn't fucked me and I'd missed out.

Over the next month, while chatting with Nia, if his name cropped up, my nipples hardened, I became moist, and I got turned on.

I even jilled myself off thinking of him, what his cock would look like, and what it would be like to fuck him. George was very good to me that night.

The next time was when he came up behind me in our kitchen at home and kissed my neck. I got weak at the knees, and I became instantly wet, incredibly hot, and horny. Then, when he said in that deep, sexy voice, On your knees, slut, get my hard black dick out and into your mouth, I'd waited so long to do it.

So a feeling washed over me that I just had to obey him, and so I did get down, and even when you came in, I had to carry on. Then you also obeyed him because you knelt too.

After he cum, and fuck was there loads of it, it took some swallowing, but yeah, when I stood up to drink my tea, it tasted funny. Later, he got me worked up horny again. Sorry, love, but he only had to look a certain way, and I was creaming myself. Fuck, he was so gorgeous. Then, when he made me tube that stuff up my nose, sh*t Pete, the way that man could fuck, I was in heaven. I was in love--in love--with his hard, firm body and his cock. Omg, the way that cock made me cum, and it kept flooding me. You tasted it, how thick, creamy, and potent it was.

On the day he disappeared, in the morning he fucked me on the sofa with his cock, which, btw, didn't hurt me when fucking me hard, unlike either of his brothers, who always felt uncomfortable inside me.

Sam's was the perfect size to fill me, and that morning, it was so hard filling me that it actually flashed through my mind. I loved him fucking me; he felt so godlike, so hard, and so fucking good. Right then, I loved him and wanted him to breed me; I really was in love with him.

When you heard us fucking and you ran back upstairs, I wanted to call out to you to share. As we share everything, I wanted to share with you the news that I thought I had found an answer to a little problem we have--that you may not manage to impregnate me, but this Adonis most certainly could. I wanted to tell you right then that I loved you; you are my husband, my partner for life, and I love the father of my future *****, Our future family could very well be a shared one, but would be ours, yours, and mine, Peter, because I love you."

"I hear you, Jess, and you loved us both, for different reasons, husband and father. Yeah, I hear you, but what about the humiliation that he took such pleasure in? It doesn't explain you, your humiliation of me, that hurt far more than his, and you took such pleasure in joining him when he did. Why, Jess, is it humiliating enough for me to have this little dick, cum too quick in dribbles, to have this little dick, cum too quick in dribbles, having to have hard black cock pleasuring my wife multiple times, to multiple orgasms, supplying lots of creamy thick b*by batter, by multiple men, one of whom, Sam, you have decided is the ideal candidate to father your future b*****? And yeah, I'm expected to raise them because he will have abandoned you, the mother. That would be the final act of humiliation."

We had walked a couple of frigging miles, stopped at a picnic site, and sat on one of those wooden bench seat/table combos facing each other. Her hands looked pale and cold, and I held both.

"You want the truth, Peter. I'll tell you the fucking truth: Samuel is gay, through and through a woman-hating black man; he fancied you and wanted you badly, but that's not allowed. Yeah, yeah, he could have fucked you that night, but he didn't want that; he wanted you, Pete, as his boyfriend, his lover, a he/she, but not in his family, no way.

His treatment of you, his treatment of women, him fucking me like he did, all linked,

In his family, men are men, and women are things put on earth to look after, cook, feed, entertain men, to be fucked, abused, and hurt, all for the pleasure of men, to be used by them.

Fucking a white boy, forcing huge cocks down the throats of, or up arses of any white man--that's just the humiliation of a white boy, for the pleasure of them, but to take up with one, live with one, partner another guy--nope, na, not allowed.

So, angry Samuel took his rage out on not having you as a boyfriend, by fucking your girl, humiliating you, and hurting you that way; if he couldn't have you then neither could I; he had to make you reject me;

He told you of his plans for me in Bristol, yeah, to hurt you; he knew that I fancied him rotten and loved the sex; well, in bed and high, that bloody coc*ine is good stuff to mess your head up with; and when he was fucking me so good, constantly asking me if I loved him fucking me, did I love his cock, did I love him, always it became the same thing in my head.

Fuck yes, I loved the sex; I loved him fucking me; therefore, I must love him; it was that simple.

But I still, even then, even though he was giving me things like fantastic sex, ha, mind-blowing sex, so many orgasms, plus the body, so masculine, oh, that perfect cock, and guess what, Peter, I still was in love, am still in love with you."

"You're shivering; are you getting cold? Come on, let's head back and go and get a drink."

"I missed him, you know, those first few days after, and you didn't want me near you, and I was missing the high of being in bed with him, his damn hard cock giving me such great sex, his lips kissing me, his strong arms holding me, at the same time you barely touching me; your kisses became mere pecks, no feeling, and no longer any lust, passion, or love, and I knew I'd lost you this time, and Peter, that makes me more than a little sad."

We walked in silence for quite some distance. I held her hand, and my heart pounded for the love of this girl as I tried to get my head around some of the things Jess had said. Some of which made a lot of sense, Sam gay? Yeah, I remember thinking about that time that he was going to kiss me, and when he invited me to join him in the shower, also he forced me to blow him, not to humiliate me but as a gay act by a gay man.

Back to the car we had gotten in, it was after 5.30. The evening promised to be a cool one, Jess said.

"Well, Mr. Peter S****, now I've truthfully told you everything--well, almost everything--about Sam. So, will you drop me off near the station or take me back home? I do have a preference, but it's your decision."

"I think, Mrs. Jessica S****, you need a hot drink; I need to pee; you and I need food; I think I should take you to dinner; I can't make important decisions on an empty stomach."

We found a pub and had a good dinner there. Jess had a couple of glasses of house wine, and I stuck to a shandy. I'm driving another few miles yet--not that Jess knew. We both asked questions and answered them honestly, talking quietly so as not to be overheard. We spoke about fatherhood and what she had said regarding Sam, but I promised to get checked out so we'd know for sure about me at least.

Also, of her need for better sex and a bigger cock sometimes, Petrina was mentioned too, and how Jess hoped she'd come back to visit her again, but we also talked of more mundane things, my job being one. I told her about missing doing the full job as I used to; we spoke about the sisters, Nia and Ejo, and how long they're staying in the house.

She told me about a student from her school who had flashed her at the pool a couple of weeks ago. It was nice to just chat after all the heavy stuff. I paid the bill, and we walked out towards the supermarket parking lot where the car was when I said,