Seriously?

Jeff and I stumbled into the house at 2:30AM after a night out on the town. Jeff had come to town for business, and as usual, we insisted that he stay with us instead of wasting money on a hotel. In this case, the aforementioned "we" includes my wife, Megan, and our dog, Lucy. Our daughter wasn't home because she was away at college. So, being the All-American guys that we were, we had spent most of the night at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club taking in some wholesome entertainment. My wife felt otherwise.

Megan, my wife of 22 years was sitting on the couch watching TV when we walked in. For a 42 year old woman, Megan is in incredible shape. I mean, she'll never be mistaken for a twenty-something, but the years have been good to her. She was never skinny, but even in her slimmer years there was no hiding her wonderfully round bubble butt. After the birth of our child, her cup size ballooned to a DD which added some balance to her form. So, today, she easily deserves to sport the MILF label, though she'd never appreciate being referred to in such terms.

Jeff and I go way back as we played on the same lacrosse team in college. He too is married to a wonderful woman, and they make their home on Long Island in New York. In college, Jeff had a reputation for being quite a smooth operator when it came to the ladies, but he's been a loyal and faithful husband since marrying a year after we did. Nevertheless, the stories of his collegiate conquests remain as legendary as the size of his manhood. The team joked about him needing custom built jocks because the standard XXL size just couldn't do the job.

"I didn't expect you to be up," I said to Megan as I flopped down on the couch next to her.

"I wanted to make sure you guys got in safely before I turned in," she said pressing the mute button on the TV remote. She was watching Sports Center.

"Aw, thanks babe," I said in a sarcastic tone. "But we're old enough not to get into any trouble."

"Yeah, right," she said with equal sarcasm. Then she looked at Jeff sitting in the wing chair at the end of the coffee table. "And how are you doin', Jeff?"

"Doin' real good, Megan," he slurred with a drunken grin.

"So, what have you boys been up to til the wee hours of the morning?" she asked, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"We watched the game at the Sports Palace, had some wings, drank some beers, and then came home," I lied, hoping she'd let it go and move on to bed.

I figured she didn't need to know that we had spent most of our time and money at a strip club. Jeff glanced at me and smiled like an old wino that'd just been given a dollar to assist in his future intoxication. I knew that he was on board with my deception.

"Lies," said Megan sternly, her eyes fixed accusingly on mine.

I was caught off guard, not expecting that comeback, especially in front of Jeff. She followed with another before I could regroup.

"Jesus, Jeff, do you lie to your wife like that?" she asked turning to Jeff with a vindictive stare.

"Megan!" I pleaded, trying to draw her fire away from my friend.

"Bob!" she replied mocking my tone.

"Megan, I'm...we're not lying...we were at the Sports Palace watching the game," I offered.

"Til two in the morning?" she enquired, tilting her head to the side as if thinking. "Bob, the game ended at 10:30."

"So?" I said defiantly. Great comeback, hunh? She looked at me and blinked slowly.

"Well, what did you do between 10:30 and two?" she asked calmly.

"We, uh...," was all that came out.

"Jeff? What the fuck is written on that band around your wrist?" she asked, gesticulating in an upward motion with her hand.

Oh shit. Jeff hadn't removed the VIP Lounge wrist band they gave us at the club. Like the married veteran he is, he knew we were busted and made no effort to hide anything.

"It says 'Larry Flynt's Hustler Club VIP'," he read.

"We were just enjoying a little innocent entertainment," I reasoned.

"If it was so innocent, why did you find it necessary to lie about it?" she asked with the calmness of a prosecuting attorney.

"To avoid this type of confrontation in front of one of my friends," I shot back sitting up and scooching forward to the front edge of the couch.

She looked at me and said nothing. Jeff looked back and forth between the two of us, a nervous smile now dominating his sobering demeanor. I felt the momentum shifting in my favor so I pressed on my attack.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal about it. It's perfectly legal and tons of guys go to strip clubs all the time. It's perfectly innocent; good clean fun. It's not like we're cheating on our wives or anything."

Again, she said nothing, but this time her mouth dropped open and she looked back and forth between the two of us as if we were two-headed monsters from Mars.

"Innocent?" she finally asked.

"Totally," I responded. Jeff shook his head affirmatively for emphasis.

"No big deal?" she asked.

"None what so ever," I responded.

"Seriously?" she asked with as much incredulity in her voice as I've ever heard.

"Well, yeah," I croaked sheepishly. I felt the momentum shifting again, but I knew I could hold it right where it was.

"Seriously, Bob?" she asked again.

"Did I stutter?" I asked boldly. Jeff's eyes grew as big as saucers waiting for her response.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous at that point that I may have pushed her a little too far on that one. We sat, eyes locked in mortal combat. I waited for her response. Finally, she blinked, rolled her eyes and uttered, "Uch!" Then she stormed out of the room.

"Victory is mine!" I mouthed to Jeff as I raised my arms triumphantly.

"Dude, she is pissed," said Jeff smiling and shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, but she'll get over it," I stated arrogantly and un-muted the TV.

I navigated the remote until I brought up a re-broadcast of the game we had obviously missed and then set about rolling us a joint for a night cap. It was 3-0 in the bottom of the 8th with two outs. By the time I had finished rolling a nice big fatty, the O's had tied it and the bases were loaded. Just then, Megan walked back into the room and, with the remote she had brought from the bedroom, muted the TV.

Both Jeff and I looked up at the same time at a most pleasing vision. Megan walked over to the iHome with her iPhone, sat it in the cradle and thumping club music filled the room. She turned and dropped her see-through white robe to the floor revealing her outrageously sexy outfit.

On her feet she sported a pair of beige high heeled platform shoes that she'd never worn; said they made her look like some sort of slut. Her round thighs and buttocks were completely exposed except for a pair of white G-string panties that clung to but barely covered the shaven cleft of her plump pussy. The white lacy demi-bra cupped her breasts so tightly that the succulent white flesh that spilled over the top jiggled like jell-o when she walked. The only thing that prevented the material of her bra cups from rolling down under her breasts were the hard nipples on which they seemed to be hooked.

"Damn," whispered Jeff involuntarily.

Megan walked slowly toward Jeff, all the while staring hungrily at his crotch.

"I'm just going to go have a little innocent fun with your friend Jeff over here," she said in a voice that dripped sexuality. "You don't mind me having a little innocent fun with Jeff, do you, honey?"

I watched helplessly as Megan turned, placed her hands on her knees and wiggled her naked butt cheeks in Jeff's face. She had me just where she wanted me and she was going to make her point and make it well. This experience was becoming both painful and titillating at the same time which made the overall effect confounding. Nevertheless, this promised to be a lesson I'd never forget.

Megan stared into my eyes with a smug and satisfied yet undeniably sexy smirk upon her pretty little face. She stiffened and spread her legs, arching her back so that her butt cheeks rose and parted invitingly. I could only imagine what Jeff saw from his perspective. Then Megan slid her hands up the backs of her thighs, grabbed two handfuls of ass cheek and pulled them lewdly apart. Still holding my gaze, she mouthed the words "fuck you" as she straightened and turned to face Jeff.

Placing her hands on the back of Jeff's chair she leaned in and smothered his face in her cleavage. Her butt and hips gyrated in my direction giving me an opportunity to enjoy the rear view this time, if enjoying is what I was doing during this little exhibition. With her back to me it was easier to not see her as my wife but as just some stripper in a club with a fuckin' awesome ass. But then she looked over her shoulder at me, mouthed the word "innocent" and slithered up onto his lap.

Jeff's hands caressed the tender flesh of Megan's bulbous booty as she ground her panty covered pussy onto the bulge that was his cock. She rose briefly to let Jeff align his package properly. When his hands returned to her ass, she sat back on his thighs, reached behind her with both hands and unclasped her bra.

"Holy shit," I heard Jeff exclaim as I'm sure he had just witnessed those 34DDs spilling out at eye level.

I heard the unmistakable sound of a mouth suckling at a mammary as Megan removed her bra completely and gathered it into a ball with her left hand. Looking over her shoulder at me, she flung the garment in my direction with a surprising amount of force. It whizzed past my face, inches from my nose, and rebounded off the lamp shade and onto the floor.

"Asshole," she mouthed with a sneer. Jeff switched mammaries and continued to feast.

Megan cradled Jeff's head tenderly and pulled it to her chest as she looked up toward the ceiling as if caught up in the titillation of her titties.

"Ooh, good clean fun," she said out loud to the ceiling as she continued to grind her crotch into his.

All I could do was shake my head and smile. She was killing me. She was wiping my nose in it. Every word I had trotted out in defending our outing was being mercilessly thrown right back in my face. I had to admire the audacity, the effectiveness, and the execution of this "lesson" I was being taught.

Sliding off his lap onto the floor between his legs, Megan began to stroke his erection through his pants, occasionally gently biting and licking the jean covered bulge. Jeff looked at me and shrugged his shoulders in some sort of apologetic gesture as Megan continued to work over his pud. I smiled back knowing that if our roles were reversed I wouldn't have pushed his wife off my lap either.

Satisfied with how hard she had made Jeff's cock she again stood and dangled her breasts in his face. This time I could see his lips close over her nipples as he switched back and forth between them. When she stood back up and turned around, both nipples were dripping with saliva and achingly hard. Megan again reached back and spread her butt cheeks as she arched her back to look at me, but this time Jeff leaned forward and buried his nose in her ass crack.

"Mmm," she purred, closing her eyes and wiggling her butt in an attempt to seal it more firmly to his face.

Lucy had wandered into the room and snuggled up next to me on the couch. Her cold wet nose nudged my hand as I looked on the scene still unfolding before me. Megan opened her eyes. When they met mine she mouthed the word "wholesome" and licked her lips seductively. Lucy had begun licking my hand and this added to the surreal nature of what I was witnessing, not to mention some very disturbing sound effects.

Megan disengaged herself from Jeff's face and slid her crotch down the front of his chest leaving a wet trail on his blue shirt. The material of his shirt had grown a darker shade of blue from the moisture she'd left there as she gingerly settled her panty covered pudenda on top of his massive bulge. When she leaned back onto his chest and draped her legs over the arms of the chair I noticed that the material covering her pussy was soaked through and had become almost transparent. My own cock twitched in my trousers and began to lengthen and harden. This was, after all, an exceedingly erotic sight.

Jeff had slid his hands under her thighs where they gripped the succulent flesh as he held them apart and thrust his pecker repeatedly against her vulva with a new urgency that was accentuated by his grunts. Megan met each thrust with a pelvic rotation of her own that forced much of the material of her panties deeper into her pussy with each pass. The smooth plump skin of her outer lips was now fully exposed and glistening with her own secretions.

"Jesus, Megan," Jeff protested, no longer himself thrusting.

"Yeah?" she asked in a sexy voice trying to look back over her shoulder at him. She doubled the frequency of her gyrations, sensing his increased excitement.

"Fuck," he growled and began to convulse.

Megan jumped up from his lap while giving me a look of panic and confusion. She seemed surprised that she had actually made him cum.

"Jesus, Jeff! Did you cum in your pants?" she almost screamed with astonishment.

"Well, ...in the condom," he smiled. "That was fucking awesome!"

"Condom?" she asked searching his lap for some sign of the white seed.

"Dude, the girls at the Hustler Club can't hold a candle to Megan here," he said grinning with satisfaction.

"Condom?" she asked again. Then she looked at me. "You too?"

"Well, yeah...in case the lap dance results in a 'happy ending'...you don't want to walk out of the club with a big wet spot on your pants," I explained.

"And the girls get really pissed if you get cum on them," added Jeff.

"Uch," exclaimed Megan as she picked up her bra and robe and stormed out of the room. "You guys are such pigs!"

Lucy jumped down off the couch and followed her up the stairs to the bedroom. Jeff and I sat and exchanged confused glances for a brief moment. The bedroom door opened and Megan called down to me.

"And don't even think about trying to climb into my bed tonight!" she yelled. She slammed the door.

"Oh, well," I sighed, a little upset that things had ended the way they had.

"Dude," said Jeff as he stood up. "I'm gonna go take care of some business in the bathroom and when I get back, we'll torch that joint."

I sat for minute in silence, then un-muted the TV. At least the O's had won.