Self Sabotaged

Dear readers, just a very short story, no sex but she BTB's herself. I tried to do this in 750 words but went over by 61.

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Unreasonable people always seem to have the upper hand against reasonable people.

If a diner makes a scene, the waiter has to give in. If a shopper complains about service the manager has to give in. All for the purpose of keeping peace.

In a marriage, if one spouse decides to be unreasonable it puts the burden on the reasonable spouse to try and work out a solution, usually at the reasonable spouse's expense.

I'm a somewhat young wife of 27 years, married now for three to a wonderful man. He's responsible, kind, funny, a good worker and provider, and pretty good about leaving the toilet seat down.

We're in love, for sure. Yeah, we argue too. What marriage doesn't have spats, fights, arguments, disagreements? I'm mature enough, now, that I know this is pretty standard for all marriages, though I of course thought my marriage would be different.

But early on I realized that in his love for me, my husband Eric will give in when I make a scene. Yeah, because I was right. Right?

Not really. Looking back I know a lot of that stuff was stupid, petty things we argued over. Actually, it was more like things I argued over.

Don't get the wrong impression. I really love my husband. He's the love of my life. Actually, I'm not sure anyone else would put up with my crap like he does, so it must be true love.

Sometimes, though, when we have an argument, he doesn't give in. Lots of times it's about money, or related to money like the things I buy. I'm not good at staying within a budget. After all, isn't it his duty to provide for what I need?

So these kinds of arguments sometimes get blown out of proportion and we start to say hurtful words to each other. Actually, it seems we're starting to do that more and more rather than Eric just giving in to me.

These types of arguments really don't go anywhere. Eventually we wear out and give each other the silent treatment for a while. Even for a few days. But usually Eric will apologize and make up. The make-up sex is pretty good too.

I'm getting better at arguing. I know I am because while he isn't immediately giving in, he's getting exasperated and saying "whatever" and walking away. That's giving in, right?

Sometimes he even sleeps in the other room, and I let him do that so he retains a little bit of dignity from being so wrong.

Sometimes, though, he doesn't back down. Usually because of money. Yeah, I bounced another check. Shouldn't he have made sure there was money in the account?

He does that at times, not giving in and holding to his position. He can be so self-righteous at times. It reminds me of my Dad who gave me a car for college. It wasn't the one I really wanted and I let him know that. He was pretty upset.

Anyways, we had this argument and I told him why I had to buy whatever it was and how the checkbook is his responsibility and if he can't handle it then we should divorce.

Yeah, I said that.

I don't know how those words came out of my mouth though, I really don't. Maybe I was pretty frustrated at him always harping on me about my spending. He should know I'm worth whatever I spend money on.

But as soon as I said "divorce" the argument stopped. Actually, he stopped talking and just looked at me. It was sort of a combination of pained expression mixed with anger.

Here's where I think I really messed up: Because he stopped talking, and I was on a roll and I had him, I kept talking. That was a mistake. I actually told him I was going to look for my own apartment.

He said "Ok, I'll get the papers going," and he left the house.

Why wouldn't he back down and give in? That's not like him! That isn't very loving of him. Does he really want me to leave? I love this man, I thought we were a team.

Well, the reality hit me two days later when I was served with divorce papers. He had already set up a new account for himself and split our savings up. Obviously the checking account didn't have much in it. He also arranged for his 401k to be split in half.

Eric is a pretty competent guy. He's pretty smart. But I didn't think he'd get all this done this quickly.

Now what do I do? I want to apologize for what I said, for what I did, but I have a hard time admitting I'm wrong. I'm crying a lot; it's lonely in the apartment by myself. I think I lost a good man, the love of my life because of my unreasonableness.