Say It with Flowers

Say it with flowers

"When are you going to move up there and reduce these travel expenses?" asked Ernie.

"Soon I think." replied Ray. "Pattie's slowly coming round to the idea."

"Why is she taking so long? Sorry, it's none of my business Ray, but you've often remarked she doesn't like her job over at Compton's. I'm sure she'd soon find something more interesting up in Manchester. For you it's promotion to general manager of course, but you shouldn't hang about too long. Michael retires at the end of next month. I've made no secret of the fact you're a shoo-in, but if you don't take it on in the next six weeks, we'll have to throw the position open to everyone.

"I appreciate your patience Ernie; I'm finding it a bit frustrating too. Recently Pattie's stopped complaining about Compton's and seems to find excuses not to move. Maybe missing me on this trip will convince her; I'm away Tuesday to Friday night. I'll discuss the move with Pattie over the weekend and give you a definitive answer on Monday."

Actually Ray was getting suspicious of Pattie's motives. There must be a reason why she was suddenly happier at work. He had no other clues but it was always possible she had met another man. That might explain why she seemed so reluctant to move away. So Ray had come up with a plan -- well, half a plan really. He'd agreed with Michael that he could work through the evenings Tuesday to Thursday; then get away early on his last afternoon. Meanwhile, he'd told Pattie he would not be back till Sunday. This gave her plenty of scope to get down to business with her lover -- if he actually existed.

It wasn't much of a plan. It gave Ray Thursday to Saturday night to get back from Manchester and check on her. He didn't know where he would stay if she was using their house, or what he would do if he caught her; it was all too vague. His absence would be all the more poignant as it was their 25th anniversary on Friday - he'd already apologised to Pattie for being away on their big day. So they'd arranged a big get-together for the following weekend. All their family and friends would be there. If there was no other man in her life, then his missing the anniversary may convince her to move.

Tuesday morning they kissed goodbye, and driving to the airport he had an idea. She'd said not to bother with flowers but he stopped off at a florist anyway. They'd only just opened and were taking deliveries. Two girls were checking in the fresh arrivals, and a third was dealing with an even earlier customer. Ray browsed through their displays and overheard the man in the suit getting anxious.

"I'm sorry sir, even with the five pounds surcharge; we can only guarantee delivery within a one hour block -- say between six and seven pm."

"But I'm dining with her at six thirty and want the flowers to arrive at the table just after we've ordered our meals. Perhaps I should try elsewhere."

"You're welcome to try sir, but I assure you no flower shop has a delivery service that precise."

"How about this then; deliver the bouquet to the Hilton hotel front desk as soon as possible after six pm; fingers crossed that will be before six thirty. And I'll add an extra note for hotel reception, asking them to take the flowers through to me, Mr Crawford. They can hide them at front desk and deliver them to the table just after I and Mrs Crawford have ordered. We have already booked a suite for Friday and Saturday night so they'll know who I am."

The girl thought about it.

"We can instruct our delivery man to make the Hilton drop his first delivery after six o'clock on Friday evening. You write your note to the hotel and include your suite number. Our guy will show it to them and I'm sure they'll be happy to add your dining surprise to their usual services."

"That's excellent; thank you so much."

"But the personal message to your wife should be in a sealed envelope so there's no confusion. May I read it back before I seal it -- just to be sure?"

He looked around and caught Ray's eye. Ray smiled and turned back to the red roses. The guy shrugged: "Go ahead."

"It says: 'Happy anniversary to my darling Pattie. Here's to another 25 years drinking orange juice.' That's Pattie with an 'ie' -- correct?"

"That's right. Keep the change."

He paid her and left. For a moment Ray was frozen to the spot. Despite the chill that came over him, he could feel sweat tricklimg under his collar. Their wedding anniversary is also this Friday. And Pattie with an 'ie' was his Pattie.

For their entire married life, she had trimmed her pubic hair into an inch wide landing strip. It was their secret -- or supposed to be. The reason was to reveal the pink flesh to the right of her pubes. There, just inside the V of her crotch, was a small birthmark. It looked just like a tiny orange. Their in joke was how Ray enjoyed drinking orange juice more than champagne. Her having an affair is bad enough -- divorce time. But how could she possibly be having dex with some guy for 25 years - their entire marriage? And how could Ray not have known?

"Did that man just give you a tip?" he asks the girl.

"He did. It doesn't usually happen when people order. Though sometimes customers come back after the event and tell us how well the flowers worked. We're usually given chocolates rather than cash. But it's not illegal."

"Oh, don't worry; I intend to tip you too. How much did he give you?"

"It was three pounds actually."

"Well I'll give you more than that. I want assistance in selecting exactly the right flowers for my anniversary and I'll have easier delivery instructions. I'll be paying you for your discretion. Don't mention this to anybody -- not even the other two girls."

Once he was on the motorway, he called Ernie and said he'd discussed it with Pattie last night and definitely wanted the position in Manchester. Ten minutes later Michael rang him to confirm.

"I'll have the contract ready when you get here Ray." he said. "Ernie says you can start as soon as you like. Do you still want to work through for an early finish this week?"

"Yes please, I need to get back and start packing!"

It was six forty and the couple had ordered their dinners; blissfully unaware of their surroundings. Trevor was dressed in an expensive black suit. Pattie was wearing a classic little black dress. It was a touch on the short side, so when she crossed her legs she displayed the tops of her black stockings. And when she leaned forward she revealed she was not wearing a bra. They held up their glasses of champagne and touched them with a faint clink.

"Happy anniversary darling." he said.

"Thank you my sweet."

They drank.

"You took a long time to order dinner." he said, smiling.

"It wasn't my fault. The waiter kept recommending different dishes."

"Of course he did. The waiter kept leaning over you. Every time he pointed out something interesting on the menu, he was staring down at your nipples."

"I do hope you're not getting jealous."

"Not of him I'm not. I'm jealous of your husband. He gets to play with those exquisite breasts and strawberry nipples any time he wants. Plus he has free access to the other fruit under your panties."

"I've kept my little strawberries, as you call them, well away from him for a couple of weeks. In fact, you've played with them, and everything under my panties, more recently than he has. I'll have to let him in next weekend -- our alternative anniversary - but tonight I'm not wearing panties. I thought you might prefer me undie-less for the weekend!"

"Excellent idea; I think I'll have fruit salad for dessert. I'll start by feasting on your strawberries. Then I'll drink lots of orange juice. And who knows what else I might find under your dress!"

"That sounds fun; you're welcome to anything under my dress. Usual rules: anywhere you put your tongue; you can put your big banana! I'll settle for drinking something white and warm. You always provide so much more than Ray. Oh, that was quick!"

The waiter had reappeared, though not with their meals. He presented a bouquet of 25 red roses with a flourish.

"Happy anniversary Mrs Crawford." he said. Then he did a smart about turn and left. Pattie beamed, opened the envelope and read the message.

"Trevor, you're such a romantic!"

"I just wish I really had been with you all this time."

"Never mind, it's water under the bridge now. It was just over 25 years ago you discovered my birthmark. Goodness me you were a naughty boy once you got my knickers off; what was it -- four times? There were several things you did that were a first for me. And there's one place that's always been yours exclusively."

"That was the best idea your workmates ever had -- hiring me as the stripper on your hen night." he said.

"And that was the best idea you ever had -- coming to work for Comptons two months ago. I'm surprised you recognised me after all these years."

"You haven't changed a bit Pattie. Maybe your orange is a bit bigger. And none of your mates have ever told Ray?"

"No; and he won't find out now either. If we're careful, we can make up for lost time."

She leaned across the table, opened her mouth and kissed him. Just before she broke away, there was a flash. Pattie swung round. There was a man standing next to the table. She got the impression he'd been there a while. His face was obscured by a huge bunch of flowers; in front of them was the phone he'd taken the picture with.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Delete that photo immediately!" she shouted. Heads turned.

"Happy anniversary Pattie!"

Ray pushed the roses off the table and replaced them with his own display.

"There's no message with these." Ray said. "The idea is the flowers should say it all - white lilies, red poppies and two rare black roses; one for you and one for me. They all symbolise death; the death of our marriage in this case."

Pattie's mouth opened wide -- and stayed that way.

Trevor leaned back as if to remove himself from the conflict. Ray suddenly grabbed his hair, forced his head back, and pushed something into his mouth. Trevor's nose was pinched and the bottle of champagne appeared and was also thrust into his mouth. He spluttered and two waiters began making their way towards the disturbance. Satisfied he had swallowed, Ray let him go. The guy's suit and shirt were soaked with champagne and he coughed his way upright. Ray turned turned to the approaching suits.

"There's no need for concern gentlemen; just horseplay." He glared at Pattie. "It's all over now."

"What did you put in his mouth?" she shouted.

"Something more prosaic than what you were going to put in there -- it was my wedding ring!"

He leaned over Pattie and spoke quietly. That wedding ring symbolised 25 years of love for you. It's in the shit now babe; the same place our marriage went. By the time you retrieve it -- if you still want it - I'll be in Manchester. You'll have to find somewhere else to live -- the house is in my name. You'll need a divorce lawyer as well."

As he left he placed something in front of Trevor.

"Enjoy your dessert arsehole!"

It was a small orange.